So my question is this. He is going to be living 3 hours from me and I won’t be in contact with with anyone that he talks to and I have been advised of doing the no contact rule. I’m not sure of how I feel about the no contact rule because regardless of our relationship status, I care very deeply about him and I have for the 15 years I have known him and vice versa. I can’t imagine not being there for him during such a hard time in his life. We are both the type of people who are not into mind games and are honest no matter what and act honestly. Anyways, if no contact is something you also advise,then it’s worth a shot. But with him and me, we are what we are no matter the status or title. Ok now for my question, if I am not talking to him, how is he going to find out Im on the market? Do I tell him myself because there is no other way he would know. I highly doubt if I am casually dating someone, their picture is going to end up on my facebook lol. What do you think?
It motivated me to search for a job even more, to subscribe to a sport to meet new people and make friends, to give him the freedom and the life he was asking for. A few days after, we went to a party and i gave him his space, made friend with other girls, I was doing great but he started talking with his former booty call right in front of me, which of course, made me feel so bad and jealous. So I ignored him the rest of the night. But I apologised the day after and it was ok.
Hello. Things moved very fast for my ex and I. We moved in together after only a couple months and a couple months after that we found out I am pregnant. I am almost five months pregnant and he broke up with me two weeks ago. I moved out and am living with my mom until I can find a place of my own. Initially I begged him to give us another chance and said we could work it out and he said he has enough and that he quit caring. 90% of it was my fault. I was so stressed out and nervous that I was taking it out on him. He started getting more distant and drinking a lot more. How long should I wait to tell him I now realize that most of this was because of me and I’m sorry. I honestly see what I was doing wrong and would like him to know I realize that and want to fix it. Being pregnant just adds even more stress to the situation. I truly do think we could get passed this but he doesn’t want anything to do with me right now..
Males can sometimes have this tendency where we internalize our thoughts and emotions too much, that something may be bothering him but he never said it out, and in the end only acted upon his feelings without really giving you a chance to explain or understand what was going through his mind. Perhaps you could ask him and try to find out what it is, and whether its something that can be worked on together.
Hi, I’m currently going through the painful process of a messy breakup. I actually did a few of not all the mistakes from step number one(mostly because he didn’t even wait 24hrs after our breakup to start talking to other girls..) Eventually, he texted today that he was sorry from the bottom of his heart and if he had it his way he would still date me but he also said that we just need to stop talking completely for “both of a sakes” because I was “too invested in him” . He said that he was a burden and I although I do love him, and I would only like to be with him later on. I want to do this. I just don’t know if I’d be blocked by the time I do end up contacnting (maybe a couple months from now). I read this article, and it honestly helped me a lot. A lot of these, I had already thought about but this just reinforces that this is what I should do to heal myself. Thank you for it!

So far, so good? Great. Suggest a casual date by phone. No texts. No emails. Let her hear your voice and register some sincere effort on your part. “See if she’d like to join you at an art gallery opening, see a movie, or a hike on a sunny day,” says Spira. “It will give you the chance to get together in a relaxed environment, without too much pressure.” But remember, accepting your invite is just that—and not a sure sign she wants to get back together. If she turns you down, give her space. “Don’t beg, cry, or stalk her,” Spira says. “If it’s meant to be, she’ll come around on her own time-table.”


Sometimes guys will think they have just fallen head over heals for someone else.  But sometimes the truth is that it’s not love, bit just pure sex.  So you may be wondering, how will I ever get my ex back if he is hooking up with some other girl.  Well, we are going to get into all that, but for now, just know that sometimes boyfriends will wander off either because they are lured away or that just have not yet learned that they are risking blowing up the good thing they have going with you.


Me and my girl were together for a 1 month but not officially. We both say “I love you”, we cuddled, hug, kiss, go out together, everything does like it is relationship kind a thing. At first all things were fine but there are some imperfections and flaws of mine, like not giving her enough attention, not communicating about our needs and wants, and acting like a jerk sometimes that she accepts it at first because she loves me. But things get out of control, I repeatedly started those things she doesn’t want me to do again. I screwed things up over and over again, she gets really angry and said i was too immature of my age, btw i’m 19 yo and she is 18. At the end of the month she started to act cold and i am comforting why did she acted like that she told me that she didn’t like my behaviour and got turned off by how i act, she even felt sorry for getint tired of us because of my behaviour. Then she reason out why it came at end then i went nuts, begging, pleasing, that i am gonna fix it right away and begging her to stay. I got no reply. Should i pursue her? Or move on and improve myself?
So I’ve been with this guy for nearly 3 year we lived together for a year and Half I have children to a previous relationship he hasn’t got none we’ve had it pretty rough last year we fell pregnant and Sadley lost our baby and had to deal with a funeral and things so emotions have been all over for both of us since then we’ve argued a lot fell out a lot he’s even moved out a lot but we always end up back together over the lay few months things have got rapidly worse his mood swings ect he has finally admitted he needs help after trying to kill himself he’s severely depressed on medication and starting to get the help he needs all though I’m the only person who seems to have supported him he keeps pushing me away we’ve just found out I’m pregnant again so it’s a worryin time at moment but he’s got up and left me again saying he can’t do it anymore that this time it’s over for good I no he loves me and I no he wants nothing more than for us to have this baby he’s said he will be there day or night for baby but as for us it’s done with my emotions are all over and don’t no what to do he has said this in past when he’s left so I’m unsure of if it really what he wants or weather it’s the depression any advise would be much appreciated as I’m at my wits end

We explained earlier how keeping your emotions in check is critical to making this period of no contact work. I know how easy it is to backslide and fall into our familiar patterns. This isn’t just the case with relationships either. Just think about how it normally goes for you when you’re starting anything new: a new low-carb diet, a new bedtime, mediation, a new workout routine, etc.
All you want to do is to throw yourself back in your ex-boyfriend’s arms again, but such a course of action is unproductive and unhelpful. Your ex-boyfriend needs to realize that there’s a big, gaping hole where you used to be, and you need to use that kind of distance and longing to your advantage in order to bring about positive change. All men are attracted to independent and confident women, and your ex-boyfriend is certainly no different.
He went on a road trip to Chicago alone(we are in San Diego so this was a big trip) after memorial weekend cause he wasn’t working to visit family. He was gone for two weeks, called and text me daily I really felt like he missed me and I never get that from him only cause he isn’t he cuddly, not always romantic type which isnt a big deal to me. He came back and completely stonewalled me and wouldn’t talk. That’s when the bickering really started. He would talk to everyone except me. He is so social and playful I knew something was wrong. I asked over and over which I shouldn’t have I even asked specifically “do you love me, do you want me here, and is everything OK?” He said yes, we don’t need to talk 24\7 I let it go. I would ask here and there if everything was okay, again I know probably shouldn’t have. This went on for 2 weeks, then about 12 days ago he dropped it on me. Came in the room told me we shouldn’t be together, he needs to work on himself, we aren’t where we should be after all these years and then I said you don’t love me? He said he was sorry. I didn’t cry or beg(learned my lesson the first time) I said okay “I’m not gonna force you or make you do something you don’t want to do I’ll get my stuff and leave”. He offered to help me move my stuff I said no and did it by myself the next day.
2. If your answer to both questions was yes, go ahead and reach out. Start off super-casual to take the temperature of things. Say something like, "It was so nice to see your name on Facebook! How are you?" His response will reveal a lot. If his reply is short and curt ("Hey there, hope all's well.") that's not a good sign. If he's effusive (think exclamation points or a smiley face) and asks you questions about yourself, that's a green light to take things a step further.
Regardless, if it's his child you're carrying, there should be a level of responsibility he needs to uphold. Also, it's not his first time going through pregnancy and he should be aware that what you're going through in terms of your emotions is perfectly normal. That being said, on your own end, the child should come first at this point and anything that would further cause you emotional grief and sadness should be put aside for the time being, at least until you feel a little more control over your emotions.
“Sabrina! I followed your advice and got my ex back and would love to share my story. He broke up with me last year in April after being together for about a year and a half. When he broke up with me I kept it together and didn’t cry and was understanding of his decision, I kind of knew it was coming. Of course, I broke down as soon as I left his house. He was even crying when I left. Anyway, I decided to go completely no contact. We were still friends on Facebook because we didn’t want to leave things on bad terms. I was really focused on doing my best to move on and live my life. After seven weeks of no contact, he reached out to me. I didn’t make it too easy because I wanted him to work a bit, and I was also trying to move on. Eventually, we decided to meet up and ended up having a three-hour conversation. It was a really good one and we talked about what we were looking for and he was very understanding of what I needed and the reasons it ended at all. That was almost a year ago and we are still together. And while we still have our issues and are trying to work through things, it’s definitely so much better than it was the first time around. I think holding myself together and absolutely no contact was the key!”
My 3.5 year relationship with my girlfriend ended a week ago when she suddenly broke up with me. We are both divorced with kids and live in the same neighborhood. I have accepted much of what she said as my fault and am going to therapy and have joined a gym to get myself in a good place. I was emotionally withdrawn and ‘cold’ without realizing it and want to improve that for future relationships (with her or anyone). The major complication I think is with her 16 ½ year old daughter, who I sense was on the receiving end of when she was upset. I believe now this greatly contributed to the issue and without my being made aware, I didn’t have an opportunity to improve so it continued and the daughter is not seeing me as a positive future presence in their future.

I was with my ex for two years, after he propose we decided to have kids, a month later I was pregnant. Then everything goes down since then, all the negative things happened. After I giving birth, he told me he didn't love me anymore. I was depressed and breakdown. and he broke up with me when our son was 3 months old. He has depression and back then he switched off his feelings became extremely cold. now he says he still love me, I was someone special that he wanted to have kids with. we broke up last April, and last December he started a new relationship, they are together still. but the thing is we are still living together for some reasons that we have to for a while, maybe another year.( his gf doesn't live with us) I always keep the house tidy and he appreciates what I have done.
As with all other events that may have a past involvement regarding the two of you (Valentines, birthdays, New Year's), contacting her soon after starting NC would probably come across as desperate and an attempt to try winning her back in her eyes because she currently has her guard up against you. At this point, only you would think it's rude not to wish her on her birthday and she wouldn't expect you to. You could read this article for more input regarding this matter.
I wish i was strong enough to follow these steps. I feel so lost. My fiance cheated & got her pregnant, right after i miscarried. I didnt even know i was pregnant & when it happened I had just found out about her & she was 4months along. He says he loves me & was stupid & ruined everything & i deserve better,but he has no choice but to stay with her to raise the baby even if he doesnt want to. He says its life & he has to deal with his mistakes. I can never be with him but we have known each other for over 20 yrs & i miss my friend, he wont talk to me & the last time we did he looked at the ground the whole time, just saying hes a pc of crap & he ruined our life & our family. I know hes unhappy, i can feel it in my soul & im sure everyone thonks im nuts, but i honestly believe hes hating his life. I love him so much & i can never be with him again after such betrayal but will he ever forgive himsrlf & come back, i miss my friend so much & it hurts me to know hes unhappy & its very painful he wont talk to me.

I was beside myself with shock. I was just dumped by my girlfriend, even though I thought things were going great. My initial instinct was to start promising change and control the situation. Although I hadn’t gone overboard by begging or texting repeatedly, I was really struggling and didn’t know what to do to get her back. I scoured the internet and after reading countless articles and websites, I came across Lee’s site and read a few articles. His advice and take on the getting your GF back seemed to make a lot of sense and I felt like I needed some objective help so that I don’t blow any chance that I may get. I’m so glad I booked that call with Lee! After a few sessions and by following Lee’s plan, she finally contacted me and wanted to meet. Lee’s advice on how to handle both NC, as well as how to interact with her in those first few meet ups was invaluable! I am happy to say we are back together and it’s never been better. The things I learned about female attraction from Lee I will continue to use in relationships to keep the spark alive and attraction high. The hard part was to trust the process, but Lee’s clear and genuine demeanor made it easier to do what I know needed to be done to get her back. I would highly recommend Lee’s services if you would like to get your ex back or improve the dynamic in your current relationship!   -Marc
I was clingy, had low self esteem, needy and jealous. The break up was shocking, he took a week and a half to tell me if he wanted space or if he wanted a break up. He was chatting with an 18 year old. He was telling me he doesn't love me anymore and when he hug me he said he wish he could feel by there is nothing, he withdrew from me emotionally 2 months before we broke up. When I was packing his stuff I found something he wrote that he didn't find me attractive. After the break up I was trying to convince him and did testing terrorism until he said to text him only when it's business related. So did one week no contact and called to talk to him about the outstanding bill I was still upset and sent a text to apologize. He called next day and he was upset and sent a text apologizing. I did 2 weeks no contact and called yesterday since he been telling ppl that I wasn't paying him attention and also thinks I do by love him. So I called and ask if we can meet weekend to talk and he said yes. He still have stuff at my place and he coming to pick some up. Today I went to his work to get my keys from him because he still had my keys. He couldn't look at me but did when he hand me my keys, I was acting happy. He said so whenever I needn't get something from the house inbred to contact you and I replied yes I am paying the rent and so I went and havnt made contact however he said he will come weekend. My ex came over for some of his stuff was amazed how the house looked, I did some rearranging. He said twice that the house looks nice and that I looked happy and then stated that he was probably the one holding me back. He said this about 2 times, the second time he said it I ask why he is saying something like that and he said he said he know perhaps he just feels guilty and so I told him that he wasn't holding me back and then he notice I had a mini burn on my hand and ask me what happened I told him I got burnt from the stove. And so ..
My boyfriend broke up with me in June and we got back together in July. One day we went out for lunch and for some reason I got mad at him and said some mean things. And he broke up with me again. He said he wants his space and he is in frustration because he is not getting his degree. So we decided to take a break for 6 months. I help him with the paper things for his college so we at least see each other once a week. I know he loves me but I really don’t need a break. Please advice me how do I get him back? I feel like we are soulmates and just can’t think of being with other man. We are really strong emotionally and physically attracte but something went wrong in our relationship that we can’t figure it out. Please advise me how to get him back
You'll have to let him realize the mistake on his own before he willingly decides to come back. Not every situation can be controlled when it comes to a relationship because it requires effort from both parties. If the relationship you had with him was a meaningful one, despite the downward cycle it has taken the past few months, he should begin to realize who he values more after some time apart from you.
I did the NC rule according to your plan for 30 days after I moved out. I contacted him via messenger, I just kept it causal, asking him how he was and how work was. He also came over with some stuff to my new apartment, stuff that I had forgot when I moved out. The meeting went well, although he had a mutual friend with him, which I thought was strange since it was the first time we met since we broke up. Anyway, he contacted me just about 20 mins after he left, saying how nice my new apartment was, some improvements I could do and so on.
You are going to have to dig a bit deeper than the usual clichés in order to feel confident about how to get back with your ex. You are basically setting the stage or the foundation for the entire process; it is fundamental to make sure that you will be able to convey to your ex that you now understand how they feel, and that you are prepared to evolve in order not to commit the same mistakes! That’s key in figuring out the answer to the question you’ve been asking yourself: how to make my ex want me back!
Relationships often end in a whirlwind of doubt and bitter accusation. You probably said a few things you didn't mean, and she fought back. Now that you've had a little bit of time to think about what's been lost, you know you want her back. If you put your heart and mind to it, you might be able to win her over all over again. Fixing whatever went wrong in the first place can be all it takes to prove that you've changed.
Alright, its been already over more than 30 days of no contact rule. None of us talked to each other since we broke up. And we actually saw each other on the street once, and we exchanged a warmth smile. Im still thinking about the excuse of my getting my stuff back from him, to see him. I thought of something like this " Hey, I'm sorry i couldn't contact you earlier about my stuff (because our last convo ended in which he wanted to know which things i needed that he would send them over to mine). Do you think we can meet to get them back? Or if you don't wanna see me, i'll give you my address."
Well I ended up dropping off his stuff and even though he didn’t agree to talk to me that night he said that we could talk the next day. So we set up a time and I came over and we talked. Our conversation didn’t really seem like it went anywhere. Seemed like the exact conversation he gave me the night he ended things. But checking out his apartment everything was the same. He still had a puzzle we put together on the floor, my dogs chew toy in the corner, and our framed pictures and ticket memory box right next to the tv. Am I reading into things that there’s still a chance since he hasn’t tossed any of that or hid it away.
I love this article, I am definitely going to follow your advice. My only concern is that my ex might’ve done the 4wk no contact along with every thing else to me already. He now texts me everyday and he recently told me that he loves me and he misses me but hasn’t said he wants to get back together and he is talking to another girl. Should I still do this?
Hi, Me and Ex girlfriend dated for 2 and a half years. We started dating when i was 16 in high school. Now i am 18 and attending college as a freshman. We were best friends for 3 years prior to dating. About 4 months prior to the break up, i started to not keep my promises and not treat her right. 3 weeks prior to the break up i started catching old feelings for a girl i had liked before. i decided to break up with her but still have the intention of getting back together while i was flirting with the other girl. As soon as i figured out the old girl i caught feelings for liked me as well, i ended things completely with my long term girlfriend. this broke her and she started to talk to another guy i knew wasn't right for her and a guy she said she would avoid and never date. I realized after about 2 weeks after the break up i made a terrible mistake and just wanted to be with my long term girlfriend. As of yesterday, i texted and called her so many times. But as of today, i havent talked to her. I really want her back and in the stage of cutting off contact with her at the moment. She said she has completely moved on and doesn't see a future with us and doesn't want to speak and or see me as of yesterday. what do you guys think i should do? thanks guys and i know i was a jerk.
Hi. We broke up with my girl friend 1 and a half months ago. Since then I did no contact and then sent her a letter suggesting that I support her decision and all that. After a month and a week I went to her country for a surprise visit she was shocked but at the same time flattered. I kept it really cool, told her that I am not there to ask her to come back. Then we started talking and everything and after few hours we started hugging holding hands kissing. Two days went by like this. It was perfect. After I came back we kept in touch and decided to move slowly. Now we talk everyday again. However she said she had to tell me about this guy she went on a date with. Nothing happened but they did keep in touch. She told me she liked him in the beginning but now she knows it was because she was scared to be alone. But then the next day I opened the subject again and she revealed more about the situation. That they made plans to meet and stuff. And now she says she wont be sure until she sees him again and decides that she actually has nothing for him. I kept it cool again and said it is better if we stop talking for a while because I wanted both of us to have time to think but she insisted we keep talking. We changed subject afterwards and everything was great. She was talking about going on to a date and at one point she mistakenly called me her boyfriend which we joked about. Right now it is going good. But I dont want her to get confused because of this guy. What is the best course I can follow? I really need help on this. Thank you.
Plus, it gives you the time to get past the initial unbearable phase of missing him and into a more even-tempered, secure mentality. Instead of trying to figure out signs your ex still loves you, you’ll be working on yourself and getting yourself into a better mindset. It gives you the space to say, “I don’t need him to be happy – I can be happy all on my own”.
The day we broke up, we went out fishing with two friends and it was really cool, and we went to see some of his friends play handball ( which is a very important part of his liife, but i have never played, so don’t really care, but I wanted to make the effort for him and to be with him). I was doing so good until he decided to go play ball with his friends during half time, leaving me alone on my chair, while I had come to be with him. There were two people I had talked to before close by ( which was his excuse to leave me) but they were talking the foreign language and imagine how hard it is to engage in the conversation when you don’t know what it,s about and you need to switch language… So i got mad at him and told him it wasn’t cool to leave me on my own. 

Best Way To Get Ex Back Girlfriend


First and foremost, cut all contact with him and even block him on social media or messaging apps if necessary. If you want to regain your composure, the first thing you need to do is stay as far away from this toxic relationship and the cause of the toxicity in the first place. Its inevitable that we become less than who we usually are in toxic situations because of the constant negativity, and in order to regain control of yourself and your usual self, these are areas you should avoid coming in contact with.
Swetnick said that Kavanaugh and Judge attended a party where she was drugged and sexually assaulted at the age of 19, but added: "I cannot specifically say that he was one of the ones who assaulted me. But before this happened to me at that party, I saw Brett Kavanaugh there. I saw Mark Judge there and they were hanging about the area where I started to feel disoriented and where the room was and where the other boys were hanging out and laughing. I could hear them laughing and laughing."
Me and my girl were together for a 1 month but not officially. We both say “I love you”, we cuddled, hug, kiss, go out together, everything does like it is relationship kind a thing. At first all things were fine but there are some imperfections and flaws of mine, like not giving her enough attention, not communicating about our needs and wants, and acting like a jerk sometimes that she accepts it at first because she loves me. But things get out of control, I repeatedly started those things she doesn’t want me to do again. I screwed things up over and over again, she gets really angry and said i was too immature of my age, btw i’m 19 yo and she is 18. At the end of the month she started to act cold and i am comforting why did she acted like that she told me that she didn’t like my behaviour and got turned off by how i act, she even felt sorry for getint tired of us because of my behaviour. Then she reason out why it came at end then i went nuts, begging, pleasing, that i am gonna fix it right away and begging her to stay. I got no reply. Should i pursue her? Or move on and improve myself?
There was no “trick” to getting Mary back for good. Going through a tragedy had changed me. It was terrible, but it helped me grow the hell up, and by the time Mary and I crossed paths again, I was ready to be the kind of person who texts back and keeps plans and buys presents for no apparent reason. We don’t yell at each other in the street anymore, and that’s pretty cool.
If you see that there is a chance of you getting back together, take things easy. Do not rush him else you risk putting him off. It’s best to leave him desiring you more and more. Withhold a little from him every time. After about 4 to 5 meetings and he hasn’t said anything. You can apologize to him for the bad things you said or did during your breakup. You can tell him that you love him and you want him back.
You need to become the person that they fell in love with in the first place. No, scratch that, you need to be a person better than the person they fell in love with. You need to show them that you are not the miserable, needy loser who was begging when they broke up with you. There is a good chance that they have associated a lot of negative feelings with you. You have to break the pattern and give them a taste of the new you.
Hi Lauren, this couldn't have come at a more perfect time for me. My boyfriend of 7 years, broke up with me a week ago. I have read most of the Mars Venus books and am currently reading Mars and Venus: Starting Over. I'm not ready to give up on the relationship, he is my everything. He claims, he's afraid of commitment and that I can't make him happy for the rest of his life, but also claimed I'm perfect and don't need to change at all. Gave me the "it's not you, it's me" thing. I still have hope that if I give him his space he will change his mind and I'm not to the point where I can think about him not changing his mind, that is too hard. I have broken down and texted him a few times and told him how I was feeling. I stopped talking to him over the weekend and on day 4, I woke up to a text from him. It wasn't anything about us, just a video of a silly dog. I guess I'm just trying to figure out if he still cares? Is it just the friendship he misses? He claims I'm still his best friend. I can't be friends with him, I'm still in love with him. I know every situation is different and you ultimately can't tell he what he is thinking, but I guess do you think if I give him his space, he might come back? ...
"While there are two sides to every story, there are often a few factors that are highlighted within a breakup," says sexologist Megan Stubbs. "What makes this time different than the time before? And how will you communicate that to your partner in a way that might make them open to a second chance?" Try to be as neutral as possible in your recollections. Seeing your part in a breakup can help you figure out whether it's a good idea to give things a second shot.
Keep in mind, once you get a chance to get back together with your ex boyfriend, you have already learned how to get your ex back and let go all bitter feelings you suffered in the past. Never lose hope to get the one you love most, even if your ex is in a relationship with someone else, just hand on! But, this doesn’t mean you have to disappear from your ex’s life completely.
HI Kim…thanks for stopping by. As I talk about in my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro, this whole focus on No Contact is just about getting him back, but its also very much about doing things for yourself in a realistic and pragmatic way so if it doesn’t work out, then you path into the future can (and will) be fulfilling. Be careful about reading too much into what guys say during and after a breakup. He may very well not know his feelings that well. He might think he does, but time has a way of telling us the truth about our relationships. To optimize your chances, take a look at some of the ebooks I have written which you can find on my website Menu/products link. Let me know how things go for you Kim!

Black Magic To Get Ex Back

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