It seems that he is emotionally immature at this stage and is acting upon his emotions at that point which has caused him to switch between the two of you over and over. The fact that both parties have been readily available for him whenever he feels like this only serves to strengthen his thought that he is able to come back whenever he wants to. I would suggest actually limiting all contact with him and and properly going through no contact this time around so that the 'idea' that he isn't always going to get his way may hit him and that he starts to think clearer on who he actually has feelings for.

How To Get Ex Boyfriend Back After Begging


You're probably going to have to give it a little more time, before trying to contact him again for an answer if not he may think of you as too desperate. Often though, a guy wouldn't really 'think' about it, but instead shut off from the negative thoughts and distract themselves with other things so you'll probably still have to check in eventually. You're also going to have to understand what made him suddenly feel this way (that you're both not going to work out), and if it was something that happened overnight or were there underlying feelings of unhappiness on his end that led him to build his thoughts in this manner.
It doesn’t really matter how it happens. Maybe he’ll reach out to you. Maybe you will initiate contact with him. Whichever it is, the key thing at this stage is to keep things casual. And this should be easy for you. You’ve already detoxed from the drama of the relationship, you’re working out, hanging out with friends, have probably been on a date or two, and are involved in new hobbies. Essentially,  your life doesn’t revolve around him or a relationship anymore. You’ve done the mental and emotional work to be fine with the outcome either way and there is no pressure.
Omg I’ve been doing everything the wrong way. I moved out of m bf’s after we got in big argument cause I got home from work late. When I was actually at my therapist office asking for advice how to communicate better with my ex. Long story short, he got mad cause I deleted text messages that day. Ever since moving out he has “trust issue” so it’s been up and down. This is the longest we’ve gone without communicating or hanging out. I feel like he feels he has me so secure. I also have the messages he got so mad that i deleted i tried to show them to him but he won’t see them, I think he knows he over reacted and doesn’t want to see he was wrong. Sometimes i feel like just sending him the messages.. should i?

Hi there. My boyfriend of two and a half years just broke up with me a week ago. He currently just left for college and since I'm one year younger I'm still home. We had been planning to stay together throughout college and there have been many talks about our goals for the future. We never fought, but always communicated. We were a real pure relationship and everyone around us could see we were meant to be. All the sudden he gets drunk at a party one night and breaks up with me over a phone call. I know your probably thinking it's because we wants his freedom in college and doesnt want to be tied down, but he isn't that kind of guy. He specifically told me that he has been depressed this pass week and doesn't think that his life will be happier or better without me, but he "has to do this." My bestfriend also told me he told her he won't fall in love again until he's 25. The reason why he claims to be doing this is because long distance is too hard for him if we dont have a future together. But, he has always seen a future and admitted that he is pushing me away right now. My bestfriend (who is also his best friend) thinks that he thinks he is saving me from eventual heartbreak in the future. I don't know how to get him to realize he's not thinking clearly, especially because he only thought about breaking up with me one day before he actually did it and said "he couldn't do it unless he was drunk." He also told me he loved me 45 minutes before he broke up with me and said how he couldn't wait for me to visit and how all his friends were going to love me. So honestly I think he is just getting scared about the future because he tends to do that. He has texted me to make sure I was okay and still wants to be in my life. How do I make him realize I'm the one again because up until the day he broke up with me he believed it? I dont know what to do.


Love this! I read your blog like it’s a bible for overcoming the bad break ups. I’m so addicted and I like that it’s enabling me to transfer my addiction from my ex. Just today, an old co worker of mine, we use to flirt a lot back in my previous job had called me not too long ago. I’m wondering if I should respond to his calls and texts. I have been avoiding him for the longest because well, I already know it will only be based on sex. Not sure if I want to indulge in that as I am still very vulnerable since the unofficial break up with my ex. However, I do want to show my ex if I could that I’m no longer crazy and doesn’t need them. So I might want to give this old flame a try. Maybe just casually date. Idfk. Lol. All I know is that I want my ex to see me happy!!!!! So far no contact for about to be a month. But my ex will not know if I’m happy or not being that I’m not on social media like that and plus they unfollowed me and we don’t have mutual friends. So how would my ex know if I’m happy without an “us”? The only glue is my access to their Netflix account which I have been using and now I’m realizing I shouldn’t even use that! My ex will probably view my activity and sees that I have not let go and still need them..even for stupid Netflix. So no more Netflix. I might want to delete the profile that my ex set up for me, but deleting it might give a reaction. Idk what to do.
“The full details of Dr. Ford’s polygraph are particularly important because the Senate Judiciary Committee has received a sworn statement from a longtime boyfriend of Dr. Ford’s, stating that he personally witnessed Dr. Ford coaching a friend on polygraph examinations,” Grassley wrote. “When asked under oath in the hearing whether she’d ever given any tips or advice to someone who was planning on taking a polygraph, Dr. Ford replied, ‘Never.'”
I would add one additional observation, backed up by research findings. When couples have strong skills for talking cooperatively over differences, they find collaborative solutions to "those annoyng little ticks." Often the solution comes just from more understanding of each other; sometimes small changes that each are glad to make also help enormously.
In my career, many girls keep on mentioning either one of above issues to explain the reason for their breakup. It is very important to keep in mind that your relationship doesn’t come to an end just because you said certain words or did something that lead to breakup. If your relationship with your ex boyfriend was base on solid foundation then few words or actions can’t come over the long work you did before.
On Monday, I brought up the other girls name and it ended up in a big argument. I have major trust issues now after what has happened but he doesn't understand! The same girl is working with him AGAIN. He has since called it off with me and has started messaging her again. He says I have pushed him too far this time and I am stressing him out with mentioning things that have happened. That I ruin everything and there is no going back.

How To Get Ex Back After No Contact


MY EX and i broke up a week ago. I want him back. I believe we were good together. But we work together, any advice on how to deal with that? He explained why. He cared about me alot and didn’t want to risk hurting me because ehe was going through something. That he needed to be alone. I told him I was willing to be there and wait for him that wasn’t a good reason to end things. He said no I shouldn’t we went back and forth. At some point we broke up. But I said I’m waiting for him for a while. We were both crying. He told me if I’m still around and he was better we could try again. I just feel my heart is missing a piece
Make a game plan for addressing the problem. Once you figure out what went wrong in the relationship - which could be a combination of problems instead of just one - it's time to think about how you can make things different next time. You don't want to make your ex-boyfriend want you back if you'll just run into the same problems and drama all over again.
Breakup is hard as it is, especially if you are still obsessing over your ex and wondering all the time whether or not they miss you. On top of that, if your ex starts dating someone else, it’s almost feels like someone punched you really hard in your stomach (while wearing a wolverine claw). Nothing can prepare you for this feeling. But it happens. And no, it’s nothing to worry about.

You'll have to consider the fact that he might have gotten bored of the relationship or experienced a loss of attraction towards you, resulting in his current actions. If he has not broken up officially with you yet, but you know he is most likely seeing someone else, you might want to consider ending things or having a talk rather than disrespecting yourself and holding on for the sake of it. Once you treat yourself any less than you deserve, other people will do the same to you, and it's not the way you fix things.
Okay, so it’s been a month since our breakup, which he initiated by saying that he wasn’t feeling ‘OK’ with himself so he could, therefore, not be with anyone else, that he was hurting me with his hot and cold attitude (true) and that I deserved so much better. It broke my heart, but after that conversation, I went to his place (I had offered like the weekend to think about it, but he was gonna go away to the beach with friends to ‘clear his head’ and it just was too much for me) that night to break it off. He didn’t let me come into his place, sent his grandma to tell me he wasn’t there, told her I saw him and that I’d wait but only a little while ’cause it was late. He came out, same argument but now backed up by my “I do deserve better”, “I do deserve someone who will fight for me” and his “Let’s be friends”, “I don’t want you to disappear from my life” and “I will always care for you”. I naively believed all this and we were supposed to meet that weekend so he could give me some of my stuff, I got a message late telling me he was sick in bed and couldn’t, so I asked what should we do about it (mistake, I know :/) and then another week went by and didn’t hear from him, so I sent him a subtle text asking for my stuff back that I didn’t wanna fight and there was no point to him ignoring me but… he just kept on ignoring me. BTW, I did stop texting except for yesterday and the day before to pick up my stuff. So, he didn’t reply (he lives far so I didn’t wanna show up and him not there :/) but I went with a gf who sorely hates him and wanted this over and done with for me to move on. Texted him I was a block away, he was so surprised (Um, he could’ve checked his phone when he was online?) and was like “So, you’re getting your stuff and then just leaving?” and I said “Of course, what else do you expect?” and he replied “I don’t know, just asking”. So, he came out and I handed him his stuff, said I didn’t have to bother and asked what I brought. Stupidly, I started to tell him each item but then stopped and just handed him the bag, he handed me my stuff and he was about to talk to me when my friend said “We gotta go, got plans, remember?” and I snapped out of it and just waved and said “Well, take care, bye” and he just looked at me all shocked and ‘sentimental’ (something was going on there, no idea what kind of feelings, confusion?) and I turned around before he closed the door.
When she contacted him, her ex was very excited. This time, he asked to meet up. When they did finally meet up, Mindy was a little bit disappointed in him. He was still the same person. She felt that he was manipulative and controlling. He wanted to keep her as a backup while fooling around with other girls. The second date confirmed her feelings when he told her that he loves her but doesn’t want to commit yet. She found out from her friends that he was dating a couple other girls as well.
This is eerily similar to the EX2 System, but can yield results. As an actual person that's used the method, I got stunning results after only a week, however, I should have pushed it out another week and it would have been much more effective and could have resulted in us getting back together, rather than meeting up and having sex in my Mustang one last time.
Swetnick has told NBC News that she saw Kavanaugh "paw on girls" and "[touch] them in private parts" at parties as a high school student, but stopped short of claiming that he drugged or sexually assaulted her or other women. MSNBC aired an interview with Swetnick on "The Beat with Ari Melber" Monday evening, with reporter Kate Snow noting that NBC News "has not been able to independently verify [Swetnick's] claims."
It could be either, but I'm leaning towards the long-term commitment issue, especially if she has kids but isn't married - which is proof of a previous failed relationship and that probably caused her to develop trust issues in seeing things. Additionally, you've only been going out with her for 3 months which is a short period to her to trust you enough to let you meet her kids. I suggest giving a week of space before you reach out to perhaps talk to her about this, and ask her why she suddenly decided to call the relationship off.
on Tuesday after work he like came up to me and was like “i’m gonna start writing down my feelings, that’s what you're doing right?” and so i was like “yeah it’s this book” cuz i had the book with me. then he was like oh lemme read it so i was like okay pick a page so he did and then he read that page but then he ended up reading more. after i took the book off him he tried to take it back off me and while he did that he cut me by accident and my finger started bleeding. then he holds my finger and say “i'm sorry i feel really bad” and i say oh its fine dw about it. THEN he kisses my finger. then after a while he was sitting there lookin all sad and so i was like what’s wrong? and he was like can i talk to you outside and so i was like okay. then we go outside and he was like “I didn’t even realize this but i still love you so so much” and he was like almost crying so i was like aww come give me a hug so he hugged me and it was like really tight hug like it was different. but then he’s like but i dont wanna give you false hope.so i was like yeah okay i know. then Thursday he tells the girl he's "moved on" to that he likes her and that’s okay whatever it’s his choice but then on friday he tells my friend on snap chat that he still has romantic feelings for me.
Start hanging out with him a bit. Start making your relationship a bit more friendly. Move on from the casual hello to a short conversation, and then even stick around and chat with him for ten or even twenty minutes. Make sure you always say goodbye first, though, and don't make him linger longer than he wants to. This will make him even more sad to see you go. Then, wait for him to ask you to grab a coffee, or be bold and ask him for a drink.
I want to point this out because often times when you are in the process and mindset of getting back with an ex, you can tend to forget that it’s also about you being happy rather than simply being in a relationship with the person that you love. It’s OK for you to be unhappy; it’s OK for you to voice your discontent at times and to set certain expectations for your significant other.
And while we’re talking about jealousy, you should also try to refrain from reacting if he posts a picture with a girl, or likes a girl’s social media posts, or even if he starts dating a girl. Jealousy is ugly, unattractive, and destructive. Maybe you’re hurt that he seems to be moving on, but lashing out at him is not going to swing the pendulum back in your favor. And you really don’t know what’s going on. Maybe it’s a rebound fling, maybe the girl in the picture is his cousin, who knows and who cares? This is not where you should be putting your attention at the moment.

How To Get Your Virgo Ex Boyfriend Back


My boyfriend broke up with me in June and we got back together in July. One day we went out for lunch and for some reason I got mad at him and said some mean things. And he broke up with me again. He said he wants his space and he is in frustration because he is not getting his degree. So we decided to take a break for 6 months. I help him with the paper things for his college so we at least see each other once a week. I know he loves me but I really don’t need a break. Please advice me how do I get him back? I feel like we are soulmates and just can’t think of being with other man. We are really strong emotionally and physically attracte but something went wrong in our relationship that we can’t figure it out. Please advise me how to get him back
There is a notion out there that relationships are hard and filled with struggle. And while I concede that there will be times when disagreements will arise or less than pleasurable situations may happen that need to be dealt with, that’s not the kind of struggle I’m talking about. I’m talking about the notion that there needs to be a tug of war between two people… that you need to try with all your might and then maybe the guy will see the light and come over to your side. Regardless of whether or not you really like a guy, or if he really wants you back,  your interactions are what they are. There’s no fantasy to bring to reality, no wishes and wants to come to fruition… it already is as it is.

So I’d like to preface this by saying I’m a woman and my ex-fiancée is a woman as well. I do find most of this page to apply, but it is challenging having two women with all of that emotion and overthinking. I’ve finished with the no contact period after my ex broke up with me, and contacted her with my “elephant in the room” message. I know she’s in the “missing phase” from texts she’s sent me, and thought it was the perfect time to send it. I am in a good place and am feeling more positive every day. I was prepared for the possibility of her responding, and how to close the conversation before giving her a few days of digestion. However, I was not prepared for her response. My message included: an apology for my behavior after the breakup, that I accepted the breakup and think it was for the best, and my positive change. Her response was “I’m glad you’re doing well. I’m not.” I’m thrown off by this, because I’m almost worried that she’s under the impression I’m moving on (although I never said anything of the sort), and she seems almost upset at my message. I’m unsure on how to respond to this- hoping you can offer me some advice. I could be totally overthinking this, but we were together for five years and I know her very well and can decipher texts. But now that we’re broken up, I could just be analyzing too much. Please help! I really don’t want to screw this up :)

Best Songs To Get Ex Back


So my ex and I were only together 2 months. I know it sounds like way too short of a time for me to feel this strongly, but it was honestly one of those "once in a lifetime" connections. We connected instantly and had a very intense and meaningful 2 months. Out of the blue, he told me that he realized he wasn't happy being in a relationship with me, that he had lost the spark, that we weren't as compatible as he thought. He said it wasn't my fault, I had always been great, he just had a gut feeling that it wasn't right.
Regardless, if it's his child you're carrying, there should be a level of responsibility he needs to uphold. Also, it's not his first time going through pregnancy and he should be aware that what you're going through in terms of your emotions is perfectly normal. That being said, on your own end, the child should come first at this point and anything that would further cause you emotional grief and sadness should be put aside for the time being, at least until you feel a little more control over your emotions.
If you're calling, texting, or showing up in places you know he'll be, you are letting him know that you are still into him. In other words, you are letting him know that he can go do what (and who) he wants and you'll still be there. You're hooked, and he can reel you in at will. If you're available all the time, there isn't any sense of urgency to get back with you.
It is natural to feel scared about going up to someone who has rejected you. You may be worried that he won't talk to you, won't be friendly and perhaps won't answer any questions you may have. All of this is natural and normal. If you really want to approach him to ask him something, consider going with a friend you can rely on and perhaps having them doing some of the talking on your behalf. Choose somewhere neutral and calm, and have a good excuse to leave quickly if things seem too awkward for you, such as "Thanks for the quick chat, I have to get to an appointment now". Most of all, realize that if you don't get the answers or discussion you'd hoped for, that it's not a reflection on you, as you've shown much courage, but is about your ex-boyfriend's method of dealing with the situation in his own way and isn't a slur on you.
A lot of experts employ the so-called “No Contact” phase when it comes to getting your ex back. This is one of the best ways to convey to him or her that you’re over the break up. Secondly, as you talked about in this article… rebuilding your image is also very important. Being down and depressed isn’t going to help you get your ex back. Re-inventing yourself and your image will!

honestly I did not show appreciation to my ex while we together. I missed valentines day and his birthday. when I decided to make the best of times with him it was to late. then I asked him for closure and he came talked in person. I told what if I got therapy because there is something going on that effects my relationships. he told its been three weeks and I’m over you….. I cried of course then looked at him and said I feel better. just got sick of being sad, doesn’t mean I’m over him. but its step. then I told me what was really going on and told he’s proud of me said I’m strong person and good girl. he told me to feel free to talk to him and said he wont be jerk to me. he also wants to improve. it sucks that I was to occupied with other stuff in life that i didn’t learn to understand him but oh well. that doesn’t mean has feelings for me. sadly I cant live in world that revolves around him I must create my own world and keeping living up to my goals. this relationship may have been painful but helped realize what I need. we are blind from pain because only look at the bad qualities that it brings us but we all need realize its actually beautiful because it shapes us. I’m going to embrace it this break up..
Great article but didn’t work for me. I read an ebook and finally understood what I’ve been missing all this time. It’s all about triggering biological instincts men have that we women don’t understand because we are just so different. I realized that is why I lost him in the first place! Luckily, there are simple phrases you can use to trigger those instincts, get him back, and keep him hooked forever. Not only got my man back but he treats me like a princess! No more bs. He absolutely adores me and it’s damn effortless on my part. Every time he starts slacking in the relationship, I start talking this way and it stops instantly. Good luck ladies! You deserve a man who will do anything for you :)
After no contact, my ex and I have spoken here and there for a couple weeks (mostly initiated by me) and we finally hung out for the first time the other day when I texted him asking to. He seemed nervous at first but we had a good time and he was reminiscing on our past times a lot, also heavily flirting. I was only a little flirty and didn’t bring up the relationship. He also suggested future times we should hang out several times, and we were having fun. After I left he texted me thanking me for hanging out with him, saying how sexy and awesome I am. He stopped responding but we exchanged a few snaps. The next day I called him intending to ask to get lunch but he didn’t respond and texted me 20 mins later saying he was working. We had a brief conversation that he initiated and I haven’t talked to him since. Am I overthinking or did I totally scare him off by calling the next day? Should I wait for him to contact me?

The best way to optimize your chances of getting your ex bf back is to become Ungettable Girl.  You want to increase your value in his eyes and also make it difficult for him to reach you, talk to you, and see you.  This is just a small part of becoming the Ungettable Girl.  It’s also about making yourself beautiful in his eyes from afar.  He can see you, but now it is at a distance (through Snap chat, Facebook, etc).   Slowly over time, your ex boyfriend will crave you and you will do things to ensure that he feels that craving every day by using little jealousy ploys and rumors and chance encounters.  Your ex boyfriend loves nothing more than a good chase – so give him one.

Get Ex Back Book


My ex and I broke up a few days ago because he said with him working and not being able to see me as much that he couldn't show me the respect he wanted but he still has stong feelings for me. We agreed to wait about 3-4 weeks to see how his work schedule is going and if it'll be good for us to get back together. But I'm still confused on what to do in that time.

How To Get Over A Gay Ex Boyfriend


I've dated two other men since him, plus ive had shorter flings, I've have had a lot of time to detach and relax and feel FAR less needy around him... I think things could be better this time and that I wouldn't be as emotionally reactive as I used to be with him, but he flat out says doesn't believe that. He used to tell me in the past that i had no idea how strongly our fights used to affect him - so now he doesnt want any chance of going back there and hes happy just keeping it light and friendly but distant. How can I get past his resistance about meeting? I believe that if we meet once or twice he will see things are better and calm down... but I can't get that initial meeting to happen

So basically I met someone, we got on really well, we had a connection and after a week I went to America, once I went to America, things went a bit weird. When I got back he wouldn’t meet up with me because he said he had a lot going on in his mind. Anyway after a month coming back, we met up, we slept with each other, I gave him massages and etc, things were still weird, met up again and slept with him again and now he’s kinda backed off. Like one min he’s okay and one min he’s really cold towards me. I used to ask him what’s the sketch with your ex, he used get so defensive about it. I’ve only known him since mid March but I was so fond of him and feel so down. Please can you give me advice? He hasn’t contacted me since couple of days.
And after that again in 5th month i brought this love topic and he said not looking for anything serious. And after that for 1 week i didn’t use to chat with him and use to reply for his good morning and good night messages that’s it apart from did not chatted and on one day he pinged me and said you became normal and sorry for the cause.and that night he shared his party pictures.And next two days we chatted just normal and after that one day both did not chatted and next day he greeted with good morning and good night messages and after that for 2 days i didn’t replied to him. And next day i replied and he said was wondering why i was not replied to him. And after that he was normal behaved as if he has lost interest in me.

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If long distance is constantly going to make him feel this way, you might want to reconsider doing anything to win him back for the time being, at least until you're able to close in on the distance. Otherwise, you're going to end up facing more situations where he overthinks or stresses himself out because you're not physically around, and ends up breaking up again down the road.
It was good, but the toxic feelings from the first breakup followed us wherever we went. Mary had let go of that fun-in-the-sun, summer-fling, freewheelin’ attitude I had desperately tried and failed to bring to our last relationship. She had made new friends and learned valuable lessons since our breakup, the biggest one being that guys who try to hold on to their high school ex-girlfriends are as dumb as they are stupid.

There is usually an underlying reason for his sudden change in his behavior. It's something you may have to figure out if you want to win him back, and if it's something that can be resolved or not. Often, it may be a sudden incident or stress in a person's life that causes them to act this way. There's also a chance that a third party may have been involved, as these are among the common reasons for someone to break up with their partners.


I would add one additional observation, backed up by research findings. When couples have strong skills for talking cooperatively over differences, they find collaborative solutions to "those annoyng little ticks." Often the solution comes just from more understanding of each other; sometimes small changes that each are glad to make also help enormously.

My ex broke up with me 8 months ago. The reason he broke up with me was because he said I was immature and I didn’t take him seriously. So when he broke up with me we didn’t talk until and like 4 days later I found out he was dating his ex again. So we completely stop talking to each other until one day my parents and I went to his house (my parents and his parents get along very well). He was acting so nice to my parents but he didn’t say a word until I got a message from him and he was apologizing about everything he did and of course I forgave him. So that day we were talking again and when we were talking out of no where he hugged me and that made me get a lot of flash backs of us together. After the hug he kissed me so we kissed and then I asked him what we were and he said whatever I wanted and I said we can try this again if you want. After I left his house we were still talking and I decided to ask him about his ex. He told him he still had feelings for her and I asked why he was with me and he told me because I reminded him of when he and the girl started dating supposedly I was being like her. I got really mad and we broke again. But we still talked cause we ended up being friends. One time when we were talking he told me that he regrets breaking up with me. But the next day he didn’t talk to me again. We lasted for a very long time without talking but I noticed that every time he and the girl broke up he will talk to me. So I got tired of that and didn’t talk to him no more. I decided I needed to move on but it took me along time since I still have really strong feelings for and even when I got a boyfriend I still had feelings for him. Barely this passed Saturday I saw him again. It was so awkward my mom noticed that he was really nervous when he saw me and that he was looking at me. I wanted to cry so bad because I remembered all our dates and every single time we said i love you’s. And I thought I was over him but I’m still not I still love him with all my heart. What can I do to get back with my ex???

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I want everyone to know what tremendous help Coach Lee has been to me! I had been dumped and had not heard from my ex for many days. It was tremendously painful since in my past experience I had never seen the relationship be revived after being dumped. You can read about strategies which are helpful but if you are serious about getting your ex back, contact Coach Lee. Once I hired him on the case, five days later my ex called. A miracle! He helped teach me what to say and when to say it. He calmed me when I wanted to reach out to my ex but it wasn't the right time. Even when my ex went many days without calling me his vast experience gave me the confidence to be patient. You go through so many ups and downs. He knows what you are going through and calms your fears! He gives you a game plan and helps you execute it through the highs and lows. After five days of hearing from my ex, she ghosted me for 11 days. I freaked thinking now it is all over! Coach Lee helped me be strong during that time! Then my ex called back! A second miracle! We went for coffee! A third miracle! He coached me for the coffee date! We ended up getting back together and I now have a regular call with Coach Lee. He teaches you so many things that help you move the relationship forward. You don't give them what they want you give them what they need! Coach Lee will be my coach for life for the most important thing in life you have, which is your loving relationship with your significant other!   -Dr. M. 

He apologised and i accepted his apology and we got back together. withing the 1st month of the apology, everything went well and i was happy things went well between us like before. But within 2 months of his apology, he started picking fights and arguing with me again about things he'd like to buy etc... he's a shopaholic. he wanted to break up with me again.
I’m definitely NOT saying you should have been looking to have a kid with her recently – not at all. I’m just saying that the relationship should have been very gradually progressing into more and more serious territory. Women need to notice this kind of progress because it shows them that eventually the relationship could lead to them delivering what nature intended – kids.

It's always better to be late than never realizing the mistakes made at all. You definitely didn't ruin your chances or made a mistake in texting him about no contact, and as you've said, no contact should ultimately be for your benefit as its meant to pick yourself up from the breakup and become a better version of yourself, which should in turn convince your ex to come back when he sees the changes.
In the next few weeks, you need to have a new man interested in you. Find one or fabricate one, but by all means you have a new flame according to anyone that he may know. You don’t need to announce it in smoke signals, but if you are asked, smile and discreetly say that yes, you are dating someone. It may sound nuts, but it does help you gain the piece of mind. If you’re not ready to date and still missing him every second of every day, that’s fine. I understand. But HE doesn’t have to know that.
In 2012, my little brother Adam died. My life shattered, and I spent the next month drunk in bed. It had been four years since Mary and I had spoken, but it spoke volumes to me that she came out of the woodwork to send me a handwritten note expressing her sorrow for Adam’s death. Through everything—the fights, the skipped plans, the immaturity—she found it in herself to reach out to me. I was blown away, and she was back in my life. We learned that we only lived a few blocks away from each other, and that is how we started dating for the fourth and final time. Once again we started seeing each other as friends. We always met up at this one café in the Lower East Side. I’d get a coffee, and she’d get a bagel.
This is great Eric. I’ve struggled for a while with a guy that’s not really been putting in much effort, I think because I was always there waiting for him and over functioning. He’s just broken up with me and I realise how much of myself I had lost and how I wasn’t taking care of my own happiness. I kind of for drawn into his hot/cold behaviour and felt anxious uneasy. I’m going to take my life back and take care of myself and be gracious and honest with him. I shouldn’t pin all my hopes on another person but all my hopes on myself. I really hope for a big shift on perspective on the inside after this. Of course I am heartbroken but I realise I fall into the same pattern in every relationship so this breakup is a big sign to change.
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