So, my ex boyfriend had a friend who killed himself just about 3 weeks ago. It hit my boyfriend really hard and he started to change. He got quieter and quieter and soon wasn’t even the person I had been dating for a year. I finally asked him if he even wanted to be with me, and he replied “Its not that I don’t want to be with you, I just feel empty”. He ended the relationship saying he needs to figure out how to fix himself and fill the hole he has inside him, but he wants to do that alone. I really do not know what to do at this point. He messaged me twice. Once was asking how I was doing, and the other was him telling me I was welcome to see the cats if i ever wanted to (we owned cats together) so I guess I want to know if this advise you have given in this article is going to work. Because I honestly think he is really confused and doesn’t know what he feels. I would appreciate any advise!

There are many, many reasons why someone may choose to explore a reconciliation with their ex. But a lot of the time, those reasons aren’t exactly good. "People often want to get an ex back because they think it will heal the pain they feel in the immediate moment," says Brandy Engler, psychologist and author of The Men On My Couch. "If they were rejected or broken up with, it can be a strong impulse to want that person to accept you in order to heal the wound of rejection." And that, of course, isn’t a good reason to get back together.

How I Get Over My Ex Boyfriend


I don't know what to do. I was 2 years together with my boyfriend, he broke up with me 10 months ago already because he was not sure anymore. We were best friends before so after the breakup we tried to be friends again. It didn't work because he had someone new, he had to delete me on instagram for his girlfriend. I decided to give them the chance but his friend and his sister told me she was not good for him. After almost 2 months she cheated on him (with her ex), that's 4 months ago. He texted me and gave me hope to get back together. But he choose to give her another chance instead. He told me she wasn't the girl of his dream and he don't want to marry her in the future. I told him to let me go if he chooses her. So we let each other go. But we have friends in common. On a barbeque he was searching my attention the whole time, during the exams he texted me memories from when we were together. I never responded because I needed space and he was still together with his girlfriend. After he texted me 3 times in a row for the same thing I texted back, asking what he really wanted. He couldn't really answer. I saw him at a event with our friends and then he was normal, not pushy or anything. He left for vacation and I didn't hear anything from him, didn't text him either. Early August we went on a weekend with our common friends. The first night together we were talking about anything and were drinking. After a while we were drunk and I tried to seduce him, he said he was still together with his girlfriend so I wanted to go to sleep. He took me by the hand, pulled me back and kissed me. He told me his girlfriend is not the love of his life, that I will always be the love of his life. We had sex. The day after we talked about it. He told me that it never happened and he will not say it to his girlfriend because they just had a break when he was on vacation. I asked him if she was the love of his life and he told me no, but I'm happy now with her. I don't know what to do now... I didn't contacted him since. After a week he followed me on instagram, liked my last photo and unfollowed me. I didn't hear anything from him after...
Me and my ex boyfriend has been dating for 4 months when I got pregnant with his first child. I instantly didn’t want the baby because I was afraid or had fear that he would leave me like my first baby father. He has a hard time expressing himself and communicating so I didn’t know until now that I truly broke his heart when I aborted our baby! I want to make things better and get a second chance with being him but he says it broke him! Then he started talking with this other female of course me being jealous and her because he was barely their for me emotionally after the abortion I slapped and hit him a few times out of hurt/emotion of him moving on so fast ! I know to follow the guidelines but I’ve asked him multiple times what are we doing where are we going with this, and he says I’m being pushy and pressuring him to be back with me. And I do not want him to do that .. I want him to make his decision based off the love he had for me in the beginning but I also don’t want to come second to the female he is dealing with. How do I fall back and careless about us getting back together? Or should I just move on completely knowing that I broke his heart after aborting our baby? He said it was worse than someone cheating on him. I’m just so confused

It seems that relationships become completely different things over time. An initial relationship has completely different values from a 'vintage' relationship. Furthermore a relationship has different values depending on your age. When relationships being, both partners have a distorted impression of each other. They are high on emotion and are in the attraction stage thus those annoying little ticks that drive you insane are unnoticeable under all of the excitement. The middle stage is withdrawal. The chemicals start to ebb after about 2 years and this is where the rationalization arguments begin. Where you argue because you are irritated and project your withdrawal on to your partner because they are no longer on the pedestal that you yourself put them. Now this where most people say good bye, or sometimes through some sense of duty and loyalty they never resolve the problems they just endure them and the unhappy relationship continues. Some others they reach another plane of a relationship. Where that person becomes a part of you. You have gone through the withdrawal and now you are life partners you are one body. In this throw away world, not enough people have enough humility or self awareness to reach this level. They are too busy trying to find their next fix after during the withdrawal phase. Sad...

Hi Chris – My boyfriend (well now ex boyfriend) of 2 years just broke up with me a week ago. He is 33, I am 25. We met on the mountain, ski coaching to be exact. He does it full time (Tuesdays – Sundays) while I only do it part time along with my full time job (November – April, 7 days a week). A co-worker of ours set us up. We had been coaching with each other for a couple of years by that point and she could just see that we were perfect for each other. I was a little hesitant at first, I had never dated someone who what that much older than me. But when I was with him, it never seemed weird or like we were at a different point in our lives. The first year was bliss, we were not living with each other at that point so we were constantly looking forward to seeing each other. There was excitement.
"I can see now," Peter explained to her, "that in my depression about work I became totally self-centered. I withdrew from you, so no wonder you felt angry and distanced from me. As both of us withdrew from each other we lost our sexual connection.  I felt desparate for attention.  Then I took the ultimate wrong turn by seeking sexual attention from an infidelity. Big mistake!  I'm so glad that now I'm looking for a job that will be a better fit for me. I think I've found one, and I'm thrilled at the prospect."  

Hello.. I really need help.. My Ex and I broke 3 weeks ago and we've been in a back and forth, me trying to get her back and she finding out more things that made her be really sure about never going back with me.. I lied to her in a bad way and I hurt her a lot because of my lies... I have apologized several times for that.. Yet I haven't apologized for my attitude after the break up..(We said many emotional things).. Everytime I was apologizing for what I did was trying her to forgive me and get her back... Without understanding her feelings.. I wonder... It has been 3 weeks and I haven't apply the 30 days rules (Wish I saw this earlier)..

But now Alexander is dead at age 36, allegedly at the hands of a former boyfriend. Nathaniel Mitchell — who had been in an on-and-off relationship with Alexander for years — has been charged with murder in connection with her Sept. 24 death, according to authorities. Mitchell, 34, is in custody at the jail in Tarrant County, Texas, in lieu of $250,000 bond, officials said.


I was beside myself with shock. I was just dumped by my girlfriend, even though I thought things were going great. My initial instinct was to start promising change and control the situation. Although I hadn’t gone overboard by begging or texting repeatedly, I was really struggling and didn’t know what to do to get her back. I scoured the internet and after reading countless articles and websites, I came across Lee’s site and read a few articles. His advice and take on the getting your GF back seemed to make a lot of sense and I felt like I needed some objective help so that I don’t blow any chance that I may get. I’m so glad I booked that call with Lee! After a few sessions and by following Lee’s plan, she finally contacted me and wanted to meet. Lee’s advice on how to handle both NC, as well as how to interact with her in those first few meet ups was invaluable! I am happy to say we are back together and it’s never been better. The things I learned about female attraction from Lee I will continue to use in relationships to keep the spark alive and attraction high. The hard part was to trust the process, but Lee’s clear and genuine demeanor made it easier to do what I know needed to be done to get her back. I would highly recommend Lee’s services if you would like to get your ex back or improve the dynamic in your current relationship!   -Marc


my ex and i broke up a couple of months ago. He broke up with me because he did not want a relationship anymore and i cheated on him. We dated for almost two years..After our break up he wanted to be friends and i didn’t. i want to be more and this kept going back and forth. We did hu a couples of times and he would say i love you. He said he wanted something more but not a relationship and not exclusive. I told we can talk to be something or we don’t talk anymore so we agreed on not talking.. We were on good terms and we said i love you and stop talking for a few days. But i texted and he said he doesn’t want to talk to me and he doesn’t want to be friends anymore.. so i need advice should i just give him time and see what happens? what should i do? I still have feeling for this guy and i don’t know if he even does.

Going through the strangest break up at the moment as me and my ex mutually broke up because after 3 years, we both noticed she has no desire for penetration. The day after, we hung out to help her get parts for her car, ended up back at my place having the greatest sex we've ever had. She says that she doesnt feel the relationship pressure to do things perfectly and feels unhinged, but states that she wants to be FWB with a chance of getting together in the future. This is when I chose to use no contact. If we can have amazing sex with penetration after that, I'd like to see what 2 weeks or a month can lead to in terms of long term.


First thank you so much for this website!!! I found it the other day and it has already helped so much with helping me feel empowered again and work on my own self-care. I love the way you describe everything, even though I am still having a hard time, your posts bring me back to reality and help me to focus on myself and know I deserve better. So the short story is I was friends with my ex for over a year at the same undergrad and we went on a service trip together. We started dating during the summer and it was long distance for about 6 months. All of my friends and I agreed that he was such a respectful, kind, and all around great guy. I thought things were going well, he would tell me how much he cared about me and how he was lucky and glad he met me. I was supposed to go to his friends NYE wedding with him. Two days before the wedding he called and said the military is more important to him, he can’t do long distance, and he hasn’t liked me for the past month and a half even when he came to my family’s house. I was heartbroken and it felt unreal because of all the plans he’d been making and things he’d been saying to me. I didn’t think he was the kind of guy who could lie to me. My friends are saying he could just be confused and nervous about having to start different schooling with the military. It feels like he didn’t even try to fix things and give it a chance. I hate how much he hurt me but I do still love and care about him. It hurts because it has only been 2 weeks and on Monday he sent me a song title (because he used to send me a song of the week) but nothing else. Then the other night he sent me a message on Snapchat but I’m trying really hard not to open it since he would see that I did. I am doing no contact and reading your article has helped convince me that I need to do it for myself and focus on myself not to get him back. I deserve a guy that truly loves me and will chase after me even if times get tough. Thank you for helping me realize this!
Español: recuperar a tu ex novio, Português: Reconquistar o seu Ex Namorado, Français: récupérer son ex petit‐ami, Italiano: Riconquistare un Ex, Deutsch: Den Exfreund zurückbekommen, Русский: вернуть бывшего парня, 中文: 让你的前男友回来, Čeština: Jak získat zpět svého bývalého přítele, Bahasa Indonesia: Mendapatkan Kembali Mantan Pacar Anda, Nederlands: Je ex vriendje weer terugkrijgen, العربية: استعادة حبيبك السابق, हिन्दी: अपने एक्स बॉयफ़्रेंड को वापस पाएँ, ไทย: กลับไปคืนดีกับแฟนหนุ่มคนเก่าของคุณ, Tiếng Việt: Khiến bạn trai cũ quay lại với bạn, 한국어: 헤어진 남자친구, 다시 잡는 법

Peter also switched from "awfulizing" about his work situation from a stance of helpless victim to taking a problem-solving stance. What could he do to find a more positive work situation? He began networking with others in his field, stumbled on a job that sounded far more suitable, applied, and at this point is looking likely to get the position.  


As common knowledge goes, you cannot make a person have certain feelings for you. However, you can encourage them to feel a certain way through reminders, thoughts, gestures and messages, so there might be some ways to help your ex think about the good things the two of you shared together. For more details on how this might be possible, read How to Make Your Ex Miss You.
But sometimes filling your life with positive things is not enough. In fact, having a good vibe isn’t really about having the things you love around you or trying to imprint the idea that you feel good into your mind. It’s more about removing the self-destructive, negative thinking (and the behavior that the negative thinking creates) – i.e. changing the lens that you see the world yourself and your situations through.

If you’ve broken up with your ex, but you’re sitting there desperately searching for a way to get him back, wondering if there is still a chance for the two of you, then you may consider seeking out the help from a recognized relationship expert. Often, having the opinion and feedback from an expert can really help to make all the difference. Some experts will provide one-to-one help in person, over the phone or through Skype.
So I’d like to preface this by saying I’m a woman and my ex-fiancée is a woman as well. I do find most of this page to apply, but it is challenging having two women with all of that emotion and overthinking. I’ve finished with the no contact period after my ex broke up with me, and contacted her with my “elephant in the room” message. I know she’s in the “missing phase” from texts she’s sent me, and thought it was the perfect time to send it. I am in a good place and am feeling more positive every day. I was prepared for the possibility of her responding, and how to close the conversation before giving her a few days of digestion. However, I was not prepared for her response. My message included: an apology for my behavior after the breakup, that I accepted the breakup and think it was for the best, and my positive change. Her response was “I’m glad you’re doing well. I’m not.” I’m thrown off by this, because I’m almost worried that she’s under the impression I’m moving on (although I never said anything of the sort), and she seems almost upset at my message. I’m unsure on how to respond to this- hoping you can offer me some advice. I could be totally overthinking this, but we were together for five years and I know her very well and can decipher texts. But now that we’re broken up, I could just be analyzing too much. Please help! I really don’t want to screw this up :)

So when I hear someone tell me “I want my ex back because they are the most amazing person in the world and quite possibly my soul mate” I always remind those people that they are pretty amazing too! If your ex fell for you, if you were able to inspire and seduce them the first time around, it means that you have tons of qualities to offer as well.


You split for a reason…even if it's hazy now. But you and your ex-ex need to face what went wrong the first time if you're going to move forward, says couples therapist Robert Buchicchio, author of Taking Space, and then let it go, once and for all. Try hashing out the bigger points of what you want to do differently this time in a way that isn't threatening, like "It would make me happy if…" and have him do the same.

Psychological Tricks To Get Ex Back


It's best to admit your mistakes. You'll need to forgive yourself for your part in the breakup, then move forward to seek his forgiveness. If you lose your temper and say things you don't mean, pull yourself together as quickly possible and apologize sincerely. There is nothing weak or demeaning about apologizing. On the contrary, it shows strength and good character. But when you apologize, be sure you mean it. A disingenuous apology is worse than no apology.

Problems start appearing when you feel your relationship is going smoothly and you stop wearing those cute mini-dresses that you used to wear or stop laughing on his jokes. When couple gets together for the first time they both make lots of efforts to make their partner happy but as time goes this interest fade away and man starts feeling caught in the relationship.


My partner and I have been together a little over two years but recently broke up (he broke up with me) and I want to follow all these rules, as I believe I am strong enough to do it and I absolutely want him back however we do currently live together and study at the same school. I’m living in a new town and don’t have any family or friends here so providing space is hard. What do I do???

Persistence To Get Ex Back


I was being sad in the past few days and would like him to re-visit the ground rules of the break for both of us to make the most out of it instead of treating it as an essential breakup. So I texted him 12msgs within 3days. Finally he replied:” it’s not OK to keep texting me. Stop texting me.” I asked him back:” when will me talk again? I would like to re-visit the ground rules of the break.” He replied:” stop texting me.” I haven’t texted him ever since. It’s hard to hold on. I don’t mind waiting for him until 10/27 when he is done with his exam. The thing is we haven’t set up to be meeting up and talk about it. I checked on line last night. The exam seems hard and only has 15% passing rate. He was stressed out at study/work when he was me.
I really love your blogs, they make a lot of sense, and I need your help with something. I’m 39 years old and I’m engaged to a woman I adore. Here’s my problem, she nags me all the time. I want to be there for her but it feels like she’s always demanding so much time and energy. I know you’re supposed to “compromise” in a relationship but it seems like I’m making all the sacrifices and I’m starting to feel like this relations...

2. If your answer to both questions was yes, go ahead and reach out. Start off super-casual to take the temperature of things. Say something like, "It was so nice to see your name on Facebook! How are you?" His response will reveal a lot. If his reply is short and curt ("Hey there, hope all's well.") that's not a good sign. If he's effusive (think exclamation points or a smiley face) and asks you questions about yourself, that's a green light to take things a step further.


Hey hii i am really sorry in advance to be asking this question , hopefully you wont judge me on this : I was dating a guy who is married , we were in living in for 2 years and deeply in love . Some how his wife caught him . He got scared of society and chose her over me . Even after which he had been in connection with me but i feel now he is not responding well to me . Does this theory of no contact implement on such complex situations as well .
Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Though you should avoid making the same mistakes, if you're constantly obsessing over not making them, you won't be able to enjoy the relationship. Just have fun and try not to think about it too much unless you're having a conflict. If you're so worried that you'll lose him again every step you take, you won't be able to live in the moment.
We always fear the thought of not being able to find someone better if we walk away from our current relationship, but the truth was he still went out with another female behind your back, and I'm sure it would be simple enough to find someone who at least won't do that to you to begin with. However, this is also dependent on whether she was actually a friend or not, and why he decided to go behind your back to meet her.
My ex(27f) and I (31M) had avery intense but short relationship (3 months, even though we liked each other for longer than that). At the time of the breakup she started having a lot on her plate, studying something new, working on a project and starting work practices all at the same time, and then it was me, being afraid of losing her and showing it sometimes, I was making her stressed in a time where she needed space and support and ended up breaking up with me. I got into an emotional mess and during the break up day I tried everything, text, mails...She got fed up and blocked me.
Many relationships go through a loss of attraction after being together for some time. You have to figure out and comprehend the reasoning behind this loss of attraction, and whether there are ways you can go about turning it around to re-ignite the flame he once had for you. 30 days should be enough considering that the relationship didn't end on a terrible note.
Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Though you should avoid making the same mistakes, if you're constantly obsessing over not making them, you won't be able to enjoy the relationship. Just have fun and try not to think about it too much unless you're having a conflict. If you're so worried that you'll lose him again every step you take, you won't be able to live in the moment.
I so wanna do this nc thing but when i do say 2 days, he will text me little questions like “do you remember where i put my …” And i have never never ignored him at all. Yes he has signs of a narcissist. And he comes from a broken family. We worked at the same place and thats hard for me. You know people would talk and all. I have been laughed at for being the provider. From money to time to chauffeuring him. And that hurts because i did all that in the name of love. But he didn’t appreciate me. In fact he treats me like kids treating a mom. No calls the whole day, busy with everyone. Only finds me when he needs something. He cheats on me too.

"I can see now," Peter explained to her, "that in my depression about work I became totally self-centered. I withdrew from you, so no wonder you felt angry and distanced from me. As both of us withdrew from each other we lost our sexual connection.  I felt desparate for attention.  Then I took the ultimate wrong turn by seeking sexual attention from an infidelity. Big mistake!  I'm so glad that now I'm looking for a job that will be a better fit for me. I think I've found one, and I'm thrilled at the prospect."  
Since winning her back in the next 8 months will be beyond your control, I suggest not thinking about winning her back for now and as she's said, to simply move on for now and to just focus on yourself instead. If the relationship was a meaningful one to both parties, the opportunity would always present itself again in the future, and should you want to give it another shot at that time, then you can always consider things again.
Now I have a new relationship with my old boyfriend! I would even say that we have a real relationship now! Before, we would only spend time together, he never gave me flowers, unless it was Valentine’s Day, or took me out. Now, we go out to eat and to the movies, much like a real couple! He always pays for me, often brings me flowers and gifts (toys, anime stuff and other small, but cute things). My friends are jealous I have such a perfect boyfriend.
You'll have to try and figure out what it was that made him break up so suddenly with you before you can determine the steps to take. For the time being, focus on self-recovery and pick yourself up from the breakup and perhaps even come to terms with it. If not, you won't be able to take the proper steps in trying to win him back. You can apply no contact for now, and when you've recovered, to attempt in re-connecting with him. Hopefully by that stage he would have unblocked you and be more receptive towards you.
honestly I did not show appreciation to my ex while we together. I missed valentines day and his birthday. when I decided to make the best of times with him it was to late. then I asked him for closure and he came talked in person. I told what if I got therapy because there is something going on that effects my relationships. he told its been three weeks and I’m over you….. I cried of course then looked at him and said I feel better. just got sick of being sad, doesn’t mean I’m over him. but its step. then I told me what was really going on and told he’s proud of me said I’m strong person and good girl. he told me to feel free to talk to him and said he wont be jerk to me. he also wants to improve. it sucks that I was to occupied with other stuff in life that i didn’t learn to understand him but oh well. that doesn’t mean has feelings for me. sadly I cant live in world that revolves around him I must create my own world and keeping living up to my goals. this relationship may have been painful but helped realize what I need. we are blind from pain because only look at the bad qualities that it brings us but we all need realize its actually beautiful because it shapes us. I’m going to embrace it this break up..
Yesterday, I asked her how she felt cause it felt like things were up in the air. She told me "I dont think its up in the air. I thought I was clear". The. we got into a fight about it. She said she couldnt just not talk to me anymore and that I meant way too much to her to do that and that she'll stop talking to me since it was confusing. I told her that it doesnt feel like I truly meant the world to her and that I deserved another chance and that we should just talk it out. She replied after work saying "we already talked" and I just told her "Youre right. Take care of yourself" and she said the same back.

Regardless of how a relationship ends, all breakups result in the same thing: Every guy on the planet -- seriously, every f*cking guy -- will wait until their exes have moved on from their relationships to want their exes back. This fact is so universally predictable that women anticipate and LIVE for the day when they have moved on and feel unaffected by their ex-boyfriends' efforts to win back their love. We basically fantasize about it.
Some arguing is normal in a relationship. You may go through phases of fighting due to outside factors, which is also normal. The important thing is how you argue, how you deal with arguments after, how you heal together, and the way you communicate. The best way to avoid a fight getting out of control is to walk out of the room and not escalate the situation.
My situation is a little different than most, we’ve been together for 5 years and he’s currently in the military now, he just ended things, with multiple reasoning but the last one was him saying he didn’t have time for a girlfriend nor did he want one. It’s been a week since we broke up and also a week of NC, I haven’t reached out, but is this going to work, is he really going to miss me even with us being so far away and his schedule being so hectic?? Please someone give me some advice…
I am 26 years old. My situation is a little different. My "ex" and I were not officially dating- a label was never placed. However, we were seeing each other quite regularly and acted as if we were together for almost 2 months or so. Too sum everything up, her and I met through a mutual friend that matched us up. We knew nothing about each other but hit it off ever since the first date. We continued to talk, and gradually become very comfortable with each other. We began to see each other 2, sometimes 3 times per week. In the early going, we made it clear that we were going to take things slow and make sure that we don't rush into anything serious. But truthfully, we admitted to each other that we were caught off guard at how well we got along and really enjoyed each others presence. Things began to ramp up- sex, sleeping at each others places, letting our guards down and showing true feelings. She eventually wanted to make it clear that we were both exclusive to one another and not seeing anyone else, yet never did we place a label on anything as we wanted to keep the pace at where we had it. She would tell me that she's never felt so happy with someone before. Hearing things like that made me quite vulnerable. Well... at the snap of a finger, she began to distance herself via text. Then in our last date, things felt strange and a wall seemed to be up again, When we got back to her place, she sat on the other couch, keeping her distance. So I proceeded to ask where her head was at, and what she was feeling. She explained that she has started to feel nervous and scared of losing her freedom and the thought of commitment... I understand we weren't officially dating, but this girl opened up my eyes to the idea of a real relationship and I want nothing more than to continue what we had going on. If I apply your process, do you think it could work in my situation to get her back in my life?

I was devastated for a few days and cried and begged and pleaded but afterwards I realised it was a stupid idea. Then I started accepting the break but still had thoughts like 'maybe his depression affected his decision' or 'maybe when we meet, he'll rethink it.' He was academically smart but not emotionally smart and I was the other way. It took him a long time to figure out that he liked me too when we were best friends. I also realised it's a stupid idea to think that way because he made his intentions clear for now. I apologised for my actions after the breakup and told him that I'll try my best to be his best friend but...


Hi, we work at same place and she sit just front of me so we see each other 100 times a day. Not able to apply no contact rule properly. Two months in no contact but not working as both are at same place. But whenever I text her in urgent no reply from her. In a month we will not be together, so should I wait to be apart when she will feel it or everything in her seems dead for me. I can’t take her rigid nature of not texting back or receive emergency call. What she want. I am not well and can’t focus on my personal life and career which is not good for me.
"Human experience has not yet devised anything," Peter wrote on an early email, "that can shield us from the pain of a broken love, the pain of feeling thrown out of your own world and out into the cold. Same as being born: I  huddled in a very cosy place that was my natural place to be, then all of a sudden I am ejected into a new and hostile place, one that's not where I  felt at home. And there is nothing the baby can do but scream and cry and feel terrible." 
It may not be possible at the start, especially when the breakup was recent and memories of the relationship are still filled in both party's heads. He could be contacting because he misses you to a certain extent but is conflicted and distracted by his new relationship, resulting in him acting this way towards you. Depending on how recent, I would suggest going into NC for now to give each other some space first.
Of course, not every woman is led by her emotions, but most fall into their traps. Women show their feelings a lot stronger than men, and let them run wild during a breakup. If you were emotional and told him that he doesn’t pay enough attention to you, tried to control him, and showed your dependency on him, it only pushed him away. These actions will definitely not help you get him back...
We lived together only once before this last time, you see his mom was diagnosed with a rare cancer and he and his sister basically did it all(their dad just couldn’t handle it emtionally, I guess. I even helped with cleanings) she died slowly and painfully in the house. While his sister lived down the street with her husband he and his dad stayed there and then I moved in. It wasn’t ideal only in the sense of living under the same roof his mom died and it wasn’t our home, but I didn’t want to say anything cause she was his rock. We had our ups and downs we didn’t necessarily fight (rarely raised our voices)more like bickered and yes I nagged:/

So my girlfriend dumped me 4 days ago. She said that she has been unhappy for awhile and that I cant fix it. I know she loves me and I cherish her more than life. But she keeps saying she doesnt know what she wants and that she needs time away to find happiness. I was upset so I did message her quite a bit and sent her flowers. After reading this I have stopped talking to her to give her time. I will do anything it takes to win her back. We were together 2 and a half years. Do I still have a chance and if so what should I do and when will will it be okay to message her to begin talking again?

Get Your Ex Back Jealousy


I met this guy on holiday and when we both returned to our prospective countries ( 1-1.5 hrs away by plane) we stayed in contact with each other. Over the last 6 months I’ve used your tips whenever he pulls away emotionally ie not texting back or initiating conversation and it works really well. The problem is He’s constantly wanting to talk dirty or about phone sex etc, which is fine and I like but I just want to see him again or at least know that he has plans to see me again before I oblige. I haven’t said this to him, I just avoid the the phone sex suggestions or make a joke whenever they come up but this really annoys him and causes him to pull away. He doesn’t say it but his actions suggest this. We are in another cycle of him pulling away as a result and i’ve Sent him a couple of messages to reach out but received no reply.... Help, I really like this guy, we have a strong connection and I would like this to go further but he’s now in his cave, only, this time I worry that he won’t be coming out, for me at least, this time
Luckily, the period of no contact will give you the time to put in place practices and structures to help you drop your stories and see things in a more positive light. Journaling, meditating, and yoga also helps. Maybe it sounds a little too new-age for you, but intense emotional experiences can send your thoughts into overdrive, so it’s really important to try and find a stillness within and learn to quiet your mind, or at least slow it down a bit.
If she seems open, and you want to step up for another at-bat, acknowledge your shortcomings. “If you did something hurtful, make a real apology,” Frances says. “It might be wise to see a therapist to clarify what you did and why, and how best to sort of the problem.” Then, no matter what she did, you need to take responsibility for you—and change. If you weren’t willing to extend an effort to get to know her friends before, tell her you’d be game for drinks as a group. (Yeah, that’s right. Swallow your pride.)

Should I Get Back With My Ex Girlfriend Quiz

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