Hi Lauren, i had recently bought the book men are from mars and women are from Venus, it has brought me to try and discover more wonderful information on your page. My boyfriend of three years had recently just left me about a month an a half ago, we had just moved in together and were only living at our apartment for 2 months before he decided to lay the break up on me. He says he needs to find himself and his happiness, this term is still so confusing for me when things for the past three years were going so well. and just 2 weeks before he broke up with me he had talked about marrying me wanting to spend the rest of his life with me. as soon as he left the apartment and packed his things he doesn't want to see me or doesn't really talk to me and whenever we do talk it always ends up in the both of breaking down crying because its so sad. he has told me that he still loves me deeply and cares about me but doesn't want to be in a relationship right now. I have no idea really what to take from all this, i know that i may have smothered him to much in the relationship but at the time i did not know what i had been doing i do know that i some how contributed to this traumatic event. but he is making it seem like its totally over and he is just cutting things cold turkey. i never seen this break up coming and he said to me that it just happened and he didn't even realize he was going to do it. after three years of being together hes acting as if he doesn't even know me. i just need some advice of insight on what might be happening to him or me right now for this to take place? ...
My ex had consistently chased me for 6 years throughout the whole of school and after, we were always really close friends and i was always too afraid to progress further incase that friendship got ruined. Even in his one other long term relationship he admitted to still always wanting to be with me and even throughout the good times with his ex he still imagined doing those things with me instead. Then after going through a hard time with a previous ex myself and having him support me we began to get close again and eventually ended up starting a relationship. And while at first i was slightly unsure about it, it quickly became clear it was the best decision i’d ever made, he was so madly in love with me and for the first time i felt so confident that someone felt like the luckiest person alive to be with me. He absolutely adored me and treated me like a queen. 2 and a half years later, and only just coming back off a wonderful week long holiday together with his family.. out of the blue, it’s over. Seeming in a bit of a bad mood one day i asked him if he was okay or if i’d done something and got the ‘we need to talk’ text. My stomach immediately dropped and i felt sick, but didn’t want to jump to conclusions and assume the worst. He came over that evening and told me he thought things had changed and that for weeks he’d had this feeling of that ‘sometimes’ he just wants to be my friend. Sometimes?! Even though that morning he’d commented on how it was our anniversary and 2 days previously we had even been on a date night where he’d complained because i had red lipstick on meaning he couldn’t kiss me and asked me to sit next to him in the bar instead of opposite him so he could put his arm around me, not really ‘i just want to be your friend behaviour’ right?
So me and my boyfriend were together for a year, but before that, we had been talking for a year so we’ve been a big part of each other’s lives for a little over 2 years. Well, we were a VERY happy couple and we loved each other very much. He was the sweetest person in the world but things started to go downhill. He broke up with me and since then, he has been rude to everyone, sometimes including me. I want to try the no contact period but we snapchat, not text so if he snapchats me, he will see that i opened it. I’m not sure if we still have a chance because after we broke up we wanted to get back together in a few weeks and he even told his friends he wanted to get back together. But soon he blew up at me and ever since, things have been shaky. We didn’t talk for 8 days until he finally snap chatted me an told me that in his art class, they were doing clay and it that it brought back so many memories for him. (for christmas he made me a beautiful pot made out of clay with my initials and a heart around them). I’m not sure what to do or think anymore.
I’m telling you to wait as long as it takes until your ex contacts you. That’s right, it’s going to feel like you’re doing nothing, but remember, as I told you, the no contact rule is doing something – it just doesn’t feel or seem like it to you because you are not your ex or able to read your ex’s mind to know if they are missing you or worried they’ve lost you for good.
What does it mean when….. I said I want things over as I don’t think he’s in right place for a relationship (and he agreed) and I explained I wasn’t happy that things weren’t progressing, not enough respect etc…..he came back asking if I’d met someone and if I change my mind to talk to him again; I replied that I am opening myself up to dating again as there’s no real commitment with us; and that I think things would need to be different for me to explore more with him (as I don’t want casual or to be a texting buddy)….he then said in a midnight text ‘me too, about your honesty’ (which confuses me?) and I haven’t heard from him for over a week…and then not long after he accepted my long outstanding Facebook friend request (with friends/photos not accessible)……I don’t know what to read from that? And I’ve not contacted further.
Last week my boyfriend told me that he needed time to “think about us” because he wasn’t sure if my family would accept him, this was 2 days after he repeatedly told me he loved me and that he would make an effort to be a better boyfriend. Initially when he told me this I said my piece and explained to him that he was hurting me by shutting me out, but the following days I didn’t contact him and he didn’t contact me. On the 5th day I decided that I didn’t want to be in a relationship with a man who wasn’t sure about being with me. So I sent him a text stating I wanted to pick up my belongings and that I would come by after work the following day to retrieve them. The next day I contacted him to make sure he was home, he wanted me to stop by later than I planned, but I told him I wanted to get my things as soon as possible and be done. My exact words, he agreed to meet me and said he would be there when I arrived. I walked in his place grabbed my things didn’t say a word accept thank you when he handed me my shades and walked out without even looking at him. I deleted his number and unfriended him on facebook before I drove out the parking lot. I showed zero emotion but they truth is I’m really hurt because I loved him. I would be open to getting back together with him. I have been on a date since we broke up and another man is presently pursuing me(he has stated he wants a relationship) and I am rejecting him because I still have feelings for my ex. Did my actions drive him away for good, ( he knows I unfriended him because he blocked me) I don’t know if the No Contact rule will work with him because he uses the silent treatment himself. I will NEVER initiate contact with him because my pride simply won’t allow it. However, is there anyway to know he wants me back?
There are also millions of women abusers and millions men victims that suffer in silence. So this post was great until the discriminative last sentence about million of abused women. Many man just dont speak about terrible repeated abuses, because man must be strong , man has to stand up...man men resist, hold on and bear abuses while women are very prone to scream and ask help at first one.
How To Get Your Ex Back When She Just Wants To Be Friends
I followed the no contact rule … it’s the 19th day today .. I had to text him yet because of a death in his family … and I got to know about a lot of things which only show that the negativity is still there in him .. he has blocked me off on whatsapp yesterday (the only place I wasn’t blocked on ) even when I dint text him anything else …everyone is just telling me what I’m doing is never going to work and that he’s never going to come back with this behaviour of your because he’s very very very scared to lose that girl .. should I still wait and give it a little more time because it’s still possible or what do I do ? I tried distracting myself .. on self improvement.. but these things just come up and now I’m completely demotivated… I really love him and I really want him back …
He would definitely like the 'new' you because he gets to have sex with you but doesn't have to deal with the emotional aspect that would follow from a typical relationship, and you would also end up becoming a safe zone to run to whenever he has issues with his current girlfriend. Keep in mind that this 'new' you isn't a permanent one, and I would strongly recommend not lowering your standards anymore by simply giving him whatever he wants and being emotionally there for him all the time while he is still with someone else and can't fully commit back to you.
Relationships are like roller-coaster ride there are some good romantic days while there is some tough days as well. Breakups are also part of any relationship there are many couples who broke their relationships many times and then they get back together. Breakups are not always the end of relationship sometime breakups can provide you opportunity to get back and create stronger relationship than before.
Getting Back Ex Slowly But Effectively
But sometimes filling your life with positive things is not enough. In fact, having a good vibe isn’t really about having the things you love around you or trying to imprint the idea that you feel good into your mind. It’s more about removing the self-destructive, negative thinking (and the behavior that the negative thinking creates) – i.e. changing the lens that you see the world yourself and your situations through.
How about women just be themselves and if the guy starts withdrawing, then he’s lame and doesn’t want a real person anyway. It’s not my problem that he can’t deal with someone who is an actual feeling, thinking, bleeding human being. I’m so sick of this type of dating advice, that women always have to be the ones to adjust themselves to appease someone else’s weird tepid behavior. That we have to be the ones to “work” on ourselves t in order to land some dud dude who’s half interested. I’m over it.
Eric I need help… The love of my life and I broke up like a week ago…. After agreeing to get our relationship right this time. And I believe it happened because we still had such tension that we never took care of… And I suggested that we start over… Like get back together and start over and that that would be the healthiest idea…. And he is so convinced that it’ll never work out cause we will always end up fighting and I’m convinced that that’s not the case. I believe this is worth fighting for. We have been through so much in over the year we were together. And instead of giving him space I kept pushing and I guess in order for me to finally give him space, after I asked him to just be friends for now until we decided to try again… He said he didn’t want to be in my life. My mom said that he only said that so I would finally give him space. She said I haven’t lost him and that he knows I’m always here (cause he said that was the reason we got back together before). I just don’t know what to do. I’ve been praying for a miracle to get him back.. But everyone keeps saying just give him space. I’m scared and all I want to do is talk to and see him. Help.
Ive recently gotten out of a 2 and a half year realationship and it has torn me to shreds. It drove me crazy cause he didnt give me a reason as to why he left other then he "lost the spark" when he didnt see me and that he "needs to find himself". It drove me mad because he left me four days after spending an amazing weekend with me and 2 days after asking me to go on a trip with him. Knowing him im afraid that even if there is a chance, which i feel deeply in my heart that there must be that hes going to be too stuborn to allow himself to want me. Hes ignoring me when i try to contact for my stuff back. Hes not the type of person to go out and meet someone to have coffee or do anything ever, he wont message me and im afraid that if i leave for a month i wont get my stuff back and i wont be able to get him to see me. We had something so specail that changed the both of us, i feel that he too must still love me as much as i love him considering the way things were before he left. I cant and dont want to wait forever to get ny stuff back, and when i get my stuff that will be my only chance of seeing him. I dont know what to do, and i dont know how i could ever get him to message me and have a conversation even after giving him space. Hes so stuborn and so am i, but ive given into everything. I just really dont know what to do when everything throughout the day makes me think of him and i can no longer sleep at night while he has a new job and is doing perfectly fine ignoring me and everything.
We spoke this past Sunday after not talking for two days and we both agreed on being friends and taking it slow. We both agreed that it didn't feel right to just say bye to each other like that and that we both mean way too much to each other. She doesn't wanna deal with the stress of relationship expectations right now. I just need to earn her trust again and take it day by day. I dont think she doesn't want this. She just wants to be 100% sure. The same way she's gone about us the last 7 months which sucks because all that trust I earned was somewhat lost. I told her if we gotta start over I'll do it. Im just happy she actually heard me out. Felt like she really did miss me and wanted to work things out. She just wants to be sure it'll never happen again.
Hi, Me and my ex were together for 3 years and we went out drinking and I cheated on my girlfriend while she was in the room, we didn't have sex but we did do other stuff. I regret it massively and was hoping to ask her to marry me sometime this year. Its been over a week and I have done some of the mistakes of texting her and being needy. I received an email off her explaining to me how I hurt her and in a way shes glad it happened so she no longer has to waste time with me. She has told me on a few occasions she never wants to see me again or for me to contact her. I have recently done the NC rule. Does it look like this is a lost cause or will the NC rule work? How long should my NC rule be bearing in mind she told me she wants no contact from me. I am willing to wait as long as it takes to get her back.
My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me 21 days ago (I’ve been no contact for 20 days) he broke up with me using a cliche (I’m sorry for not communicating more, you deserve better). He had mentioned to me that he still loved me and thought the relationship could be saved, however I talks with my mom and had told her basically it was my fault we broke Up and that he didn’t think we could work it out. It was hard at first, I’ve invested a lot into the relationship, both financially( when his tv died I gave him mine, he didn’t have a car so my parents gave him my brothers 2014 Kia Forte and even let him on our insurance so he could pay less), emotionally, and physically(first). We’ve had countless firsts together (he used to be JW and didn’t celebrate holidays so every holiday was a first for him, plus we had other firsts..) he made a lot of commitments, even purchased a $400 promise ring.... anyway, I’ve been doing good in terms of my own recovery, lost weight, got tan, worked on my flaws, meet up with old friends, started playing tennis again, been on a few great dates.... he text me today actually on day 20, but I did not respond (it was a generic “hey Jordan”) he also text my mom and mentioned he wanted to take our dog (that I keep) to the canyon .... don’t want to read into it, but considering our history, what is your expert opinion on my progress and if our relationship can start anew?
It motivated me to search for a job even more, to subscribe to a sport to meet new people and make friends, to give him the freedom and the life he was asking for. A few days after, we went to a party and i gave him his space, made friend with other girls, I was doing great but he started talking with his former booty call right in front of me, which of course, made me feel so bad and jealous. So I ignored him the rest of the night. But I apologised the day after and it was ok.
What Must I Do To Get My Ex Back
btw I got stuck in this funny situation I don’t know if it’s possible but can you or your staff delete my comment stating my story ( on august 19, 2018) ? A friend of mine is suggesting this site for me and I’m too afraid that she may read my comment here she will instantly know it’s me .. Im so totally busted if that happens hahahaha pretty please help mee all of my NC plan will go to nothing if this happen cause she’s pretty close to my ex and I can’t really trust her mouth LOL..
Vashikaran To Get Ex Boyfriend Back
I did the NC rule according to your plan for 30 days after I moved out. I contacted him via messenger, I just kept it causal, asking him how he was and how work was. He also came over with some stuff to my new apartment, stuff that I had forgot when I moved out. The meeting went well, although he had a mutual friend with him, which I thought was strange since it was the first time we met since we broke up. Anyway, he contacted me just about 20 mins after he left, saying how nice my new apartment was, some improvements I could do and so on.
now wen I came to know tht he zz hving this feari decided to stop talking with everyone but my boy is telling me tht he lost his pure love on me.. he is telling me tht he loves me but not like before I begged him very badly… for 8 days I cried and begged him….. v both are very close…. v are mutually into evrythg even sex…. now he zz telling tht he is tired of fear and he can’t be like before frdzz what should I do?
You also need to avoid displaying your vulnerability in the form of begging, pleading or bargaining your way back into your ex-boyfriend’s heart. You can’t guilt-trip him into giving you a second chance at your romance. A desperate ex-girlfriend isn’t attractive to anyone, least of all your ex-boyfriend. Guys simply don’t like emotional reactions to things, and they’ll want to keep their distance from you as much as possible. This clearly isn’t going to help you win back his heart if he’s keeping you at arm’s length.
My ex cheated on me a few months ago. I stayed with him because I love him. I have all guy friends and a lot have fancied me and make jokes and stuff about it. My ex said he doesn’t like it and me sending them hearts. So I stopped. So clearly jealous but he knows I never liked any of them that way. He moved to Germany and things ended. Blah blah blah a lot happened and I annoyed after the break up. But he told someone that he can’t stand me. When they asked why he said I CHEATED ON HIM WHICH I NEVER DID. Why would he do this????
I am currently in 'no contact' - I haven't spoken to my ex boyfriend since the break-up, which was about three weeks ago. Our relationship was incredibly close: we were together for two years, we had exchanged promise rings and often talked about our future (marriage, etc.)... I love him so much. He is a genuinely lovely, altruistic and romantic guy and we share so much in common, in terms of interests and values. He used to say I made him so happy, content and that I was his best friend, as well as his girlfriend.
Oh, no 🙁 I had a really absurd fight with the best BF I’ve ever had (which is not hard to do, I have dated some serious jerks) and I managed to get him back for a whole week and a half before we got snippy and he suddenly was breaking it off with me. The relationship was long-distance and he wants to be friends, but I just spent a week and a half more making an a** of myself. Is there any redemption? I don’t even know how to do this at a distance (I was going to move there, for the record) and after I was so weak. Argh D:
I think that continuing your no contact for now would be a better idea before sending out the text. It may be too soon to send this without him thinking you have motives because the breakup was still relatively recent. And if the issue for the breakup was because of his clubbing interests, perhaps it might a good idea to let him go through this phase first instead of suppressing negative emotions while in the relationship, since it's usually just a phase that people go through.
It may not be possible at the start, especially when the breakup was recent and memories of the relationship are still filled in both party's heads. He could be contacting because he misses you to a certain extent but is conflicted and distracted by his new relationship, resulting in him acting this way towards you. Depending on how recent, I would suggest going into NC for now to give each other some space first.