If you’ve broken up with your ex, but you’re sitting there desperately searching for a way to get him back, wondering if there is still a chance for the two of you, then you may consider seeking out the help from a recognized relationship expert. Often, having the opinion and feedback from an expert can really help to make all the difference. Some experts will provide one-to-one help in person, over the phone or through Skype.
My god, you have described men to a ‘t’! Any man that’s rotunda having had a lot of ego & the truth is they are pussycsts underneath! Thankyou for this – it’s saved my heart as it’s reminded me of everything I already know but sealed it, no empathy and heart break after being left with our tiny baby after being very in love or atleast I thought we were! Apparently he wants to ‘be free’ and not be ‘ tied down’! Says he doesn’t love me, never did but tried! I’m a fairly ok attractive woman (just so you don’t think he pulled out bcs I have one leg or something) so much so that he begged me to get a tattoo of his initials as he loved me so much! but I pulled out. How does that work then????am mans madly in love with you, sees you vulnerable and kegs it! Nice ?

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If you had genuinely meant something to him, even her consolation would not be enough to fill the void that was lost between you and him. This is something only time will tell, and you made the right decision as it wasn't fair to you that he was going about confused and having the best of both worlds, hurting and confusing you in the process. It'll definitely work out happily for you, whether you end up with him or not, because you made the decision not to cling onto something toxic, and while it may hurt now, in the long run, you'll be happy to know that you made the right decision to free yourself from it.
A lot of people think that when they implement Radio Silence (No contact) with their Ex Bf, that it is all about denying them or punishing them.  But that is not it at all.  It is really about allowing your Ex Boyfriend time to get over his anger and resentment and sort through his feelings.  Make no mistake, bitterness is usually just hovering over a break up couple and your guy might be holding on to his fair share. So allow for some space.  Once the ugly thoughts are out of his mind, the good thoughts and memories will eventually return as he will most assuredly start missing you, sometimes terribly.

When a girl feels disconnected from her boyfriend due to his lack of emotional availability/overdone ‘badboyness’, she’ll think he isn’t interested in her enough for him to be a reliable partner. She’ll feel like she can’t really ‘get close’ to him, which is something she needs in a relationship because closeness shows her that he won’t just up and leave at some point. Girls do dump guys for this.


on Tuesday after work he like came up to me and was like “i’m gonna start writing down my feelings, that’s what you're doing right?” and so i was like “yeah it’s this book” cuz i had the book with me. then he was like oh lemme read it so i was like okay pick a page so he did and then he read that page but then he ended up reading more. after i took the book off him he tried to take it back off me and while he did that he cut me by accident and my finger started bleeding. then he holds my finger and say “i'm sorry i feel really bad” and i say oh its fine dw about it. THEN he kisses my finger. then after a while he was sitting there lookin all sad and so i was like what’s wrong? and he was like can i talk to you outside and so i was like okay. then we go outside and he was like “I didn’t even realize this but i still love you so so much” and he was like almost crying so i was like aww come give me a hug so he hugged me and it was like really tight hug like it was different. but then he’s like but i dont wanna give you false hope.so i was like yeah okay i know. then Thursday he tells the girl he's "moved on" to that he likes her and that’s okay whatever it’s his choice but then on friday he tells my friend on snap chat that he still has romantic feelings for me.
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My ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago we were together 5 months. We would meet each other once/twice a week due to work schedules. He would always keep in touch every day via text or a call. We would be texting numerous times a day and most of the time it would always be him texting me. He seemed to be making no effort to meet up on last 2 weeks it was always me suggesting we meet which we did. When I suggested we both make more of an effort to meet up more regularly. He broke it off saying we both in different places and thats how he feels. Found out 2 days ago he has gone on holiday with a female friend. He tried to keep texting after we broke up as if nothing was wrong so I asked him to stop. I have had no contact with him since I asked him to stop. Going to concentrate on myself for now and refrain from contacting him. Guess what I would like to know is there any hope in getting him back.

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hi natasha! i’m glad i found this blog! i just broke up with my ex last night, he decided to leave me bc i often threatened him if he messed up n hurt me. he said a lot of bad things about me last night and i threatened him back and we agreed to made a silly and stupid agreement, that he will do EVERYTHING that i ask from him till the end of this year then i promised i’m the one who will dumb him and he agreed with that (because i threatened him of course). and if he mess up he will add 1 more month for me to stay with him. i feel confused now, i want to get back with him bc to be honest i was the one who always overreacted but at the same time i don’t think he wants me anymore, he really hates me. what should i do?? i decided not to contact him for the next few weeks but seriously i have no idea what should i do next.. ps: we are in a long distance relationship and before we broke up, he still listened to me when i told him to get home early from his friend’s place. he hates me but at the same time he always do what i say to him even if i didn’t threaten him. also his friends told him to leave me. please help me i need some advices from you! thanks a lot natasha!! xoxo
Hi, my ex broke up with me a while ago. We went full no contact for about 8 weeks and then he finally texted me to catch up. We talked for about a month, hooked up a couple times, and he was treating/talking to me as if we were a couple. I want to get back together. So I’ve told him I still have feelings for him and eventually want to get back together. I know he still has feelings for me but he says he doesn’t know what he wants (We’re also doing long distance so this is a big reason of why he doesn’t know). I told him a week ago I can’t be just friends anymore so I went into no contact again. Was this the right move? I want him to realize he does want to get back together and be more that friends. Should I have just stayed friends and waited? Or was it smart to go no contact again!!

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It's best to admit your mistakes. You'll need to forgive yourself for your part in the breakup, then move forward to seek his forgiveness. If you lose your temper and say things you don't mean, pull yourself together as quickly possible and apologize sincerely. There is nothing weak or demeaning about apologizing. On the contrary, it shows strength and good character. But when you apologize, be sure you mean it. A disingenuous apology is worse than no apology.
It seems like she is having some sort of depressive episode, but if she doesn't admit or acknowledge it, there isn't much you can do because she won't admit to needing help. You can reach out again in October after no contact, but I suggest taking it a step at a time to see how she responds to you, and whether she still seems to be depressed at that stage.

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Alright, lets say that I was trying to get an ex girlfriend back and I had made it this far into the step by step process I am outlining here. I took out a sheet of paper and wrote down what I thought our best couple experiences were together. For the sake of this page lets say that me and my ex had an experience where we were watching a football game outdoors and it was really cold. She was getting very cold so I offered her my jacket.

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My question is this my relationship ended about 5 months ago, I found out he was texting a girl he worked with and that they had been texting back and forth for about a month I think. I saw a text that said good morning baby how was your night. My X and I lived together for 3 year but we had been together for 10 plus years. He has in the past cheated on me more times than I can count but I did know about 3 others women for the past 15 years together. I am 12 years older than he is. the words he said to me when this all came to a head one night of his revealing that he loves me but he did not love me the way that I loved him, and that he never thought of me of marring me but that I was and would all way’s be nothing more than his girl friend. But that he does love me, and that he was concerned about my age even when he knew I was 12 years older than he was, and he is having problems with it.
Now its been 2 months and we text daily and i did no contact for 2 weeks. However, he doesn't text me as often anymore (30 - 10 hours for a reply), hang out with me, or ask me to hangout with him like it was during our post break up before I went no contact. Now I feel like he has moved on and lost me because he is always with friends and never reaches out to me. Should I move on too or still try to get him back and rebuild what was lost?

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During the no contact period you’ll need to communicate high Dating Market Value to your ex…without actually directly communicating with her. Put another way, you’ll need to send signals out that make it clear to her that you’re a high DMV man – without making direct contact with her as you do that. This gives you the best of both worlds, you get the benefits of No Contact but you also get the benefits of boosting your DMV in her mind.
Many women have quite simple and somewhat boring lives, so she might struggle to relate to you with your travel-filled lifestyle, amazing car or massive house that you told her about (for example). And if she struggles to relate to you because she sees you as WAY better than her, she will go cold and initiate the no contact rule on you. “He’s out of my league.” Then she initiates a breakup.
I've finally decided to calm down and stop pushing and go no contact and try to attract him back... but what I don't understand is....if he does come back ... how do people get trust back after something like that? How do people forgive their best friend and greatest supporter for suddenly dumping them and refusing to say why, even when they saw that not being given a reason was killing them? How do I ever feel safe with him again after that? How do I ever get over the really mean things he started saying during our post breakups fights, like that he might never see me again, or that his job and hobbies are more important to him than me? Even if he was just being mean I'll always wonder if he meant it now. How do I ever feel safe with him again when he watched me have a breakdown over our breakup and wasn't there for me and was still mean?
The best way to optimize your chances of getting your ex bf back is to become Ungettable Girl.  You want to increase your value in his eyes and also make it difficult for him to reach you, talk to you, and see you.  This is just a small part of becoming the Ungettable Girl.  It’s also about making yourself beautiful in his eyes from afar.  He can see you, but now it is at a distance (through Snap chat, Facebook, etc).   Slowly over time, your ex boyfriend will crave you and you will do things to ensure that he feels that craving every day by using little jealousy ploys and rumors and chance encounters.  Your ex boyfriend loves nothing more than a good chase – so give him one.

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I am 26 years old. My situation is a little different. My "ex" and I were not officially dating- a label was never placed. However, we were seeing each other quite regularly and acted as if we were together for almost 2 months or so. Too sum everything up, her and I met through a mutual friend that matched us up. We knew nothing about each other but hit it off ever since the first date. We continued to talk, and gradually become very comfortable with each other. We began to see each other 2, sometimes 3 times per week. In the early going, we made it clear that we were going to take things slow and make sure that we don't rush into anything serious. But truthfully, we admitted to each other that we were caught off guard at how well we got along and really enjoyed each others presence. Things began to ramp up- sex, sleeping at each others places, letting our guards down and showing true feelings. She eventually wanted to make it clear that we were both exclusive to one another and not seeing anyone else, yet never did we place a label on anything as we wanted to keep the pace at where we had it. She would tell me that she's never felt so happy with someone before. Hearing things like that made me quite vulnerable. Well... at the snap of a finger, she began to distance herself via text. Then in our last date, things felt strange and a wall seemed to be up again, When we got back to her place, she sat on the other couch, keeping her distance. So I proceeded to ask where her head was at, and what she was feeling. She explained that she has started to feel nervous and scared of losing her freedom and the thought of commitment... I understand we weren't officially dating, but this girl opened up my eyes to the idea of a real relationship and I want nothing more than to continue what we had going on. If I apply your process, do you think it could work in my situation to get her back in my life?
I need advice. We met on match.com and only dated about 3 weeks but had a great connection from the very beginning. Plus we share a lot in common (we agree about a lot, graduated high school same year, kids are same age). But he broke it off because 1) we moved too fast (didn’t have sex but went further than we intended by date 2) and 2) we’re in different places in our lives – I’m going through a divorce and he’s been divorced for years. I’m devastated. We ended things amicably last week (I didn’t fight it, though I wanted to) and we haven’t been in contact. But he’s been back on match.com already. My question is, what are our chances for trying again in the future? Did moving too fast derail us completely?
He says that he was not comfortable being at his trueself with me. we were in a relationship for 3 years and now he says this.He's way too inconsistent about his thoughts and gives a list of reasons for the break up and he wants to be only FRIEDS with me at least for a while. it's been almost 4 months since we broke up, I've been pleading him all this while and today I decided to Start No Contact period for at least 2 - 3 months until December. Kindly help me in getting him back. I'm very much serious about this guy.Also please Suggest me if i'm doing it right.
This may or may not work, but I think it’s your best shot given the distance issue. The Philippines is overrun with women that like Western men anyway so even if she doesn’t come through, I’m sure you can meet other women anyway, maybe online. That can be the backup plan and you may find someone that you like even better when over there. So, that’s what I would do!
If your focus is on finding hot guys so you can post pictures with them on your social media pages and make your ex jealous, or show up places where you know he’ll be with a hottie on your arm, you need to fix your priorities asap. Again, you need to be focusing on yourself at this time, not on getting a reaction out of him. An angry reaction is not what’s going to make him realize you’re the love of his life and it’s not going to ensure things work the second time around.
Alright, its been already over more than 30 days of no contact rule. None of us talked to each other since we broke up. And we actually saw each other on the street once, and we exchanged a warmth smile. Im still thinking about the excuse of my getting my stuff back from him, to see him. I thought of something like this " Hey, I'm sorry i couldn't contact you earlier about my stuff (because our last convo ended in which he wanted to know which things i needed that he would send them over to mine). Do you think we can meet to get them back? Or if you don't wanna see me, i'll give you my address."

Thank you so much for this great article. You’re right! Happiness is the key. I’ve been single now for a few years, post a really bad breakup, and I’ve spent all this time focusing on myself, on what makes me truly happy, independent of guys. And I can honestly say it’s an amazing feeling to be comfortable with yourself. I feel more attractive now than I ever did in my relationship. And I was in my twenties! Thanks for breaking it down in such an honest way. Everyone should follow your advice!

Hi, I had been dating a guy for 2.5 years, he’s a Muslim and I’m a Christian,during this time he was completely in love with me and he has done a lottttt of things to keep me happy and to show how much he loves me... because he was never like this and I could feel it and even his family and friends had told me that he has never been soooo serious before for any girl and I myself felt his love for me then... and I had amazing connections with his family and even most of his relatives side knew me.. though we used to fight a lot we always managed to get back and love each other more.. but the few days before the breakup we had been fighting and that is when he went to his cousins place far from where we live .. he stayed at his ex’s place who is his cousin and he had dated her for 2 years before me ... and he suddenly started getting feelings for her and they were so strong that he went and told her mom that he wants to get married to her and even kissed her and stuff ... but then after he came back from there he has ditched her a million times already by kissing me and getting physical with me and even after that girl knew this she accepted him like twice .. and when there were problems in their relationship ( now it’s almost 2 months since we broke up and since he’s got into a relation with her ) he used to come to me asking if I will or will not give him another chance and that he loves me .. this has happened twice and both the times I used to agree and then we used to get physical ...I have come out of my country that means we don’t meet and he doesn’t even talk ( I have broken 4 rules which are mentioned above because I hadn’t read the article before) so now my ex says he doesn’t want me at all and he doesn’t love me...and again their marriage is fixed like they say they’ll get married after 5 years once he has achieved something in life ..both of us are 20 and his present girlfriend is 18...in this situation where families are involved and where he claims to love her soooo much will is till be able to get him back? Please help ... is it still possible ?
1. Give yourself some time to grieve. I know how hard it is to be happy after a breakup. I remember I was a complete mess for at least two weeks. I didn’t sleep properly, didn’t eat properly, and I was just thinking about my ex all day. In a way, this period is necessary for you. You give yourself some time to grieve every day. If you want to feel sad and sorry for yourself, go ahead and do it. But make sure you also do something to make yourself feel good about yourself.
HI Sara…sorry for your pain. You will benefit by picking up a copy of my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro. (go to website Menu/products link). It is very comprehensive and can cover so much more helpful information that I can here in this forum. At a minimum, I think you both needs some space and time away from each other to work on things and let the emotions subside. The key is your own self recovery and you will learn more about that and why its so important. So go take a look at some of the resources here on my site!

However sometimes general concepts, no matter how detailed are just not enough. If you wish to take it a step further and give yourself the best possible chance to get back with the person you love or to have no regrets, I strongly urge you to book a consultation with one of our relationship expert. It could very well be the best phone call you’ll ever make.

We texted incessantly for a month and went on our first date to an ice cream festival called The Scooper Bowl. I missed the train, and we kissed. We began a summer fling where we’d walk around Boston holding hands, eating pizza, and watching TV cuddled up on her couch. She made that summer in Boston perfect. It was only two months, but it was unfiltered romance.

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He apologised and i accepted his apology and we got back together. withing the 1st month of the apology, everything went well and i was happy things went well between us like before. But within 2 months of his apology, he started picking fights and arguing with me again about things he'd like to buy etc... he's a shopaholic. he wanted to break up with me again.
So my ex broke up with me a week ago (we had only been dating for two months but apparently it was his longest relationship in awhile) and we’ve been in contact almost every day for the past week just talking as friends so that we don’t lose our snapchat streak (I know that’s a stupid reason to keep in contact with someone). He already drunk texted me saying that he made a mistake but when I confronted him about it the next day he remembered what he said just fine but said he couldn’t get back together because he “needed to work on himself first”. I feel awful starting the “4 week no contact rule” since we’ve been chatting for so long but I really want him back. What do I do?
So I’d like to preface this by saying I’m a woman and my ex-fiancée is a woman as well. I do find most of this page to apply, but it is challenging having two women with all of that emotion and overthinking. I’ve finished with the no contact period after my ex broke up with me, and contacted her with my “elephant in the room” message. I know she’s in the “missing phase” from texts she’s sent me, and thought it was the perfect time to send it. I am in a good place and am feeling more positive every day. I was prepared for the possibility of her responding, and how to close the conversation before giving her a few days of digestion. However, I was not prepared for her response. My message included: an apology for my behavior after the breakup, that I accepted the breakup and think it was for the best, and my positive change. Her response was “I’m glad you’re doing well. I’m not.” I’m thrown off by this, because I’m almost worried that she’s under the impression I’m moving on (although I never said anything of the sort), and she seems almost upset at my message. I’m unsure on how to respond to this- hoping you can offer me some advice. I could be totally overthinking this, but we were together for five years and I know her very well and can decipher texts. But now that we’re broken up, I could just be analyzing too much. Please help! I really don’t want to screw this up :)

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Hi, my girlfriend of 3 months finally came over to my home to find out I live with my Mom. She never knew this before. She brought a bottle over, so she clearly wanted to finally have sex with me. We went to a restaurant instead because I told her my Mom is sick and I take care of her. At the restaurant, I was talking to her about log term commitment and marriage possibly. She was recently divorced with kids. I notice she never invites me to functions with her kids. We normally do stuff together with just the 2 of us. She is kind of defiant and rebellious just for the record. So, I get this text 3 days later after she comes over about wanting to break up with me because I want a long term relationship and she wants friends with benefits. I told her I was cool with friends w/ benefits too but she insists on the break up. She has a history of making excuses when she doesn't want to go to an event via text, so I don't know if the marriage questions caused the break up or was it really the mom situation/ her wanting sex. Your thoughts, what should I do to get her back??? How do I know if ever which it was?

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For instance, in the future when he was traveling for business and staying alone in hotels he would plan ahead what to do in the evenings: phone his wife, work on his computer, read, watch his favorite TV shows.  He would NOT go to the hotel bar. If he met people in the lobby, if the acquaintances were women he would speak with them briefly and then say goodbye.  He would go out to dinner only with men friends.  If women joined them, he would not engage in one-on-one conversations with them. Alcohol, private time with women plus loneliness and a disconnected relationship with his wife had been a dangerous combination for him.  

And next week in dating app i created different account and i played prank & manipulation with him for fun and got to know so many unknown things from him. And after that for one week i did not replied for his texts and call and he has unfriend me in Facebook. After few days in July first week i replied to him and said sorry for not replying to your calls and texts and also played prank and asked him to meet casually and he said i will let you know. But it did not happened. Again on 9-Jul i called him and said want to talk with you due to signal issue we couldn’t talk and He replied in whatsApp that he will call or message to me but he has not done anything so i did NC(No Contact) for 25 days and in that period i changed myself and understood so many things & mistakes what i have done.
It's likely that her current date is a rebound, since she jumped into the relationship soon after the breakup. For the time being, give her some space to at least let go of the negative emotions she may have towards you after everything that has happened. Also spend this time working on figuring out what went wrong and make positive changes in those areas to at least appear more desirable to your ex and less of the person she was hurt by.
When a girl feels disconnected from her boyfriend due to his lack of emotional availability/overdone ‘badboyness’, she’ll think he isn’t interested in her enough for him to be a reliable partner. She’ll feel like she can’t really ‘get close’ to him, which is something she needs in a relationship because closeness shows her that he won’t just up and leave at some point. Girls do dump guys for this.

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So my ex and I were only together 2 months. I know it sounds like way too short of a time for me to feel this strongly, but it was honestly one of those "once in a lifetime" connections. We connected instantly and had a very intense and meaningful 2 months. Out of the blue, he told me that he realized he wasn't happy being in a relationship with me, that he had lost the spark, that we weren't as compatible as he thought. He said it wasn't my fault, I had always been great, he just had a gut feeling that it wasn't right.
I met my husband at a party when I was 17. I saw him and I was hit with a ton of bricks. We spent most of the night talking (and kissing), and I was on a cloud. We dated for a few months and while the relationship was short, it was extremely significant to me. He was just different from the rest and I was devastated when it ended, like completely crushed.
There are many, many reasons why someone may choose to explore a reconciliation with their ex. But a lot of the time, those reasons aren’t exactly good. "People often want to get an ex back because they think it will heal the pain they feel in the immediate moment," says Brandy Engler, psychologist and author of The Men On My Couch. "If they were rejected or broken up with, it can be a strong impulse to want that person to accept you in order to heal the wound of rejection." And that, of course, isn’t a good reason to get back together.
My situation is a little different than most, we’ve been together for 5 years and he’s currently in the military now, he just ended things, with multiple reasoning but the last one was him saying he didn’t have time for a girlfriend nor did he want one. It’s been a week since we broke up and also a week of NC, I haven’t reached out, but is this going to work, is he really going to miss me even with us being so far away and his schedule being so hectic?? Please someone give me some advice…
Commit to having a better relationship. If your ex-boyfriend takes you back, you both need to take steps to make sure that the same problems that caused your last breakup will not interfere with your relationship again. Talk to each other about what kinds of conflicts you have had in the past and how you could deal with them more appropriately going forward.[9]

Hi. I'm currently on day 14 of no contact. And my ex has started a conversation for the third time in these two weeks. I keep the conversation short and unemotional like a friendly acquaintance. As stated by the no contact rules. However the undertone of her messages seem to tell me she misses me and perhaps even wants me back. I'm not sure of this because she doesn't say it with so many words I just seem to feel something. Should I risk it and break protocol of no contact and skip the 16 remaining days and ask her out for coffee already? Because if shes in the missing me phase already she might be over it later on. Although you guys say the missing phase can take a while. But still. Why take the risk? I hope you can clarify that for me :) 

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You’d be shocked at how quickly a guy gets his act together when there’s a woman he wants that he thinks he’ll lose if he doesn’t get his sh*t together. A lot of women don’t see this, though, because instead of staying single until they’re clearly, totally and unambiguously in a full-on defined relationship with a guy, they accept his excuses and wait around thinking that somehow he’ll just all of a sudden want a relationship with them (even though he knows the woman isn’t going to leave him)

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