It is natural to feel scared about going up to someone who has rejected you. You may be worried that he won't talk to you, won't be friendly and perhaps won't answer any questions you may have. All of this is natural and normal. If you really want to approach him to ask him something, consider going with a friend you can rely on and perhaps having them doing some of the talking on your behalf. Choose somewhere neutral and calm, and have a good excuse to leave quickly if things seem too awkward for you, such as "Thanks for the quick chat, I have to get to an appointment now". Most of all, realize that if you don't get the answers or discussion you'd hoped for, that it's not a reflection on you, as you've shown much courage, but is about your ex-boyfriend's method of dealing with the situation in his own way and isn't a slur on you.
Hi me and my broke up 3 days ago and we been together for 1 year and it was my fault cause I kept getting mad. He told me his going to his friends house because we both woke up early to go to boxing class. And I told him we can go to his house instead and rest. But he didn’t want to and I kept getting mad and said no your staying here and he still left and went inside and I kept knocking trying to tell him to come here when he did he said he was breaking up with me and I slapped him because I was mad. We’re still talking and we hang out still but he doesn’t want to be with again but he told me he still loves me. I’m not ready for us to be over even his mom told me not to give up. I just need help getting him back because I love him. Any advice on what I should do. Because I’m no n US. I just need help
If you are in a situation like this, the best thing to do is just be cool about it. Do not give your opinion about their new relationship and let it run its course. Just be cool about the whole thing and try to concentrate on your life rather than theirs. There are a lot of things that you need to do after a breakup and before you can get your ex back. That’s what step 2 is all about.
Honestly, it is hard to think of any disadvantages when using text messages. Texting is the communication highway for today’s couples. You and your boyfriend probably texted each other all the time and rarely shared them with anyone. Basically texting is super intimate. You can share cute pictures and do all sorts of really fun things. Not to mention it is impossible to raise your voice over a text message. However, I would say the biggest advantage to text messaging would be the fact that you can take your time and think everything through. This is something that calling on the phone won’t allow you.
My bf split up with me last week after 2.5 years living together. We were committed to each other and always were making plans for the future. This article really resonated with me as I can see where things went wrong perhaps (I have been confused all week) I feel I pushed him away by trying to get it to go in a certain way (ie pressuring him about children – but then feeling like we came to agreement) I am 36 and had come out of a toxic marriage when we met. I then got made redundant he had two lots of sugery on his hand and then I had a brain haemorrhage! All within 3 months! We then spent 3 months recovering together with each other everyday meaning that sex was off the table as we were both too ill and the fun disappeared. I felt it was just about getting back to normal and starting doing what we used to. He then started acting very distant and said he didn’t know what was wrong and that he didn’t want to break up. I then started feeling incredibly vulnerable and probably a bit needy as I felt everything in my life was slipping through my fingers. And then he ended it. I’m in shock I feel that a combination of stress and situation has pushed him away from me and I’ve lost him forever. I felt we were so solid and committed and now he says there’s something missing and we can never go back. Is there any hope?

Your main goal in this section is to just open up communication. Remember though, you want to be in control at all times. That means that YOU have to be the one to end the conversation. To make matters more complicated you can’t get into a full blown conversation with him yet. This is simply a small baby step that you are using to test the waters and gauge where you are at.
Don't make the same mistakes. Remember that reflection period after your break up? Well, it should come in handy now. When you're with your boyfriend again, remind yourself of what went wrong and try to prevent it from happening. If the problem was that you fought too much, then remind yourself to calm down when you have the urge to pick a fight. If your problem was that you were mean to his friends, try to be nicer, this time -- your man should be worth it.

How To Get Even With An Ex Boyfriend


Okay, so it’s been a month since our breakup, which he initiated by saying that he wasn’t feeling ‘OK’ with himself so he could, therefore, not be with anyone else, that he was hurting me with his hot and cold attitude (true) and that I deserved so much better. It broke my heart, but after that conversation, I went to his place (I had offered like the weekend to think about it, but he was gonna go away to the beach with friends to ‘clear his head’ and it just was too much for me) that night to break it off. He didn’t let me come into his place, sent his grandma to tell me he wasn’t there, told her I saw him and that I’d wait but only a little while ’cause it was late. He came out, same argument but now backed up by my “I do deserve better”, “I do deserve someone who will fight for me” and his “Let’s be friends”, “I don’t want you to disappear from my life” and “I will always care for you”. I naively believed all this and we were supposed to meet that weekend so he could give me some of my stuff, I got a message late telling me he was sick in bed and couldn’t, so I asked what should we do about it (mistake, I know :/) and then another week went by and didn’t hear from him, so I sent him a subtle text asking for my stuff back that I didn’t wanna fight and there was no point to him ignoring me but… he just kept on ignoring me. BTW, I did stop texting except for yesterday and the day before to pick up my stuff. So, he didn’t reply (he lives far so I didn’t wanna show up and him not there :/) but I went with a gf who sorely hates him and wanted this over and done with for me to move on. Texted him I was a block away, he was so surprised (Um, he could’ve checked his phone when he was online?) and was like “So, you’re getting your stuff and then just leaving?” and I said “Of course, what else do you expect?” and he replied “I don’t know, just asking”. So, he came out and I handed him his stuff, said I didn’t have to bother and asked what I brought. Stupidly, I started to tell him each item but then stopped and just handed him the bag, he handed me my stuff and he was about to talk to me when my friend said “We gotta go, got plans, remember?” and I snapped out of it and just waved and said “Well, take care, bye” and he just looked at me all shocked and ‘sentimental’ (something was going on there, no idea what kind of feelings, confusion?) and I turned around before he closed the door.

Two weeks ago I hit him. He became very angry and said that it was too late for me. After that we have hung and cuddled, as usual. He's going to London in a few days and we're still not together again. I'm afraid I've broken my chances by hitting him and making drama. I do not know how to do "no contact" when he is in another country, busy with studies. Can you help me? He says he still loves me, but lacks sparkle. He also thinks that it's a lot of drama and I'm rushing things. He says he will still hang and talk. But it will not work for me, I will become insecure and make more drama. What shall I do?
Relationships are like roller-coaster ride there are some good romantic days while there is some tough days as well. Breakups are also part of any relationship there are many couples who broke their relationships many times and then they get back together. Breakups are not always the end of relationship sometime breakups can provide you opportunity to get back and create stronger relationship than before.

Getting Back Ex Slowly But Effectively


He has been staying at his mom’s house since the breakup. Everyone who knows us cannot believe what happened. They all say “love is dead!” and “I could have sworn he was the one”…. “You two were perfect for each other” and I am with them. I did think he was the one. He is one of the most amazing, kind, generous men that I have ever met. I truly believe that he is going through a funk and an early mid-life crisis. Then there is another part of me that believes that the man that I am in love with should love me through thick and thin. And if he doesn’t, then he doesn’t deserve me.
The process of getting back with an ex is not always easy. If it was you wouldn’t be doing research on the internet and you wouldn’t seek the help of relationship experts. One of the most challenging aspects of this process is the need to be self-critical and to constantly ask yourself the right questions to make sure that you act the right way and not fall into any of the pitfalls along the way.

Hi Lauren- I broke up with my ex the night before he was moving out of state (not cool, I know). I needed some time to figure things out and work on myself. I want to try again. I wrote him an apology for ending things the way I did 2.5 weeks ago with no response (he also did not respond to a simple email about his mail 1 month ago). Is it still a good idea to send the "I want to try again" letter? I'm at a loss what to do. Our relationship was not bad, but he was pulling away and I didn't know what to do so I ran. He seems either angry or distant or not wanting to engage and since it has been 2 months I'm not sure how much more time I should give this. I feel like we could have something wonderful given another chance (I have the tools now but I'm not sure he is ready to try). Do I call and say it? Send a letter? Send an email? Do nothing? I am in CA and he is in MO so meeting would be hard, but I would be willing to go out there for a weekend. I really want to try but I don't know what to do... If he doesn't want to try I will accept that and move on. Carrie...
Avoid Depression – Feeling depressed after the breakup is common for many people but you have to make sure to avoid depression as much as possible. Sleeping all day, staying in the dark room, talking about breakup with your friends only trigger depression and it is enemy for you if you want to win your ex boyfriend back. There is no magic button that you can use to remove all negative memories from your mind but you can keep yourself around happy people to avoid feeling alone.
Since 3 weeks I didn't hear from him. Our mutual friends started to complain about his behavior, his sister also told me she's tired of him. And one of his best friends started to vent to me because he was crazy about his behavior. He told me yesterday that my ex was very angry with me because I still want him back while I'm just trying to move on with my life and have no contact with him.

What kills me is that he seems to be in love with me from a distance. I don’t want to go into details here, but, yeah, it’s pretty obvious. But, he’s been dealing with some pretty intense emotional trauma (the woman he dated before me abused him) and if he could speed up his recovery, then I’m sure he would, but abuse recovery just doesn’t work that way (I know; I’ve been abused too). I agree that minor sh*t can be quickly dealt with when necessary, but major sh*t takes time.
HEY. I was dating him for almost 3 years. But after a year he met a girl who became her bff in a very short time. I was very jealous of their bond and dirty jokes etc. I stopped him from talking to her.i stopped him after 2 months of their friendship. But he used to miss her. Then for like rest kf 2 years we fought because he started talking to her without letting me know. I used to check his phone and he would have made other accounts to talk. Each time after getting caught he told me hes sorry. I used to breakup but he used to beg and tell me that he wont talk again. Then i started talking to him again. But the cycle continued. I abused the girl too but she used to say that its my boyfriend going back to her. But my boyfriend tried his best to leave her bff. He loved me a lot. Sometimes i used to do things to make him angry so in order to take revenge he talked to her. We are in the same school even his bff. Shes our junior. But my bf didnt met her in school their talk remained in online chating. But then then there was a group of my bf's friends and my friends. We all were friends but somehoe aur group broke up. We fought and his friends fucked up his mind. He fought with me. Yes i did for somethings which he would get hurt too but he then started meeting that girl. He brokeup with me. And this time he had no regret. He said that i made him do this. He added Snapchat stories to make me jealous. I was about to do suicide after that because i hated that girlll too much. Though the are justt friendss. And i cant do no contact periods because i can onlyy meet him after 3 days. No chance meeting after that.
If you have ever heard the old saying that if you love someone set them free, you will probably know that there is a lot of truth to it. Most men love to divide and conquer. With that being said, don’t make it too easy for him to come back. However, before you get to this stage, you need to first build interest on his part in wanting to get back together with you.
Hi Lauren, I have a question that is related in a big way, but not too related in others. You mentioned the concept of men doing the pursuing and women doing the recieving. I'm on my 4th Mars Venus book - Mars and Venus on a Date - and I noticed that this is a huge theme in the book. So my question is: What do you do if a guy gives you his number and says "call/text me"? When I first met my ex, I felt like I was pursuing him a bit because this is the way he approached me. We met working on a project, but to build off of our newfound friendship I attempted to flirt and create the opportunity for him to pursue me. We dated for about a year and I thought he could have been the one - until recently when we hit a wall in communicating that I felt I had to end it (since then I've been educating myself through therapy and Mars Venus books!). But, while at the time I never questioned the success/failure in me doing some reaching out, looking back now I'm wondering if that's something I could have done differently? The problem is, I wouldn't know how! It's a tricky situation. What happened was, like I said, he gave me his number (without me asking for it) and said to contact him. So I did and it went well! Then for our first date, from what I remember, I suggested that it would be nice to get to know eachother more. He told me to let him know when I wanted to go out. I pushed back this time and insisted that he should be the one asking me out, but he refused. To refrain from more back and forth, I planned the date. After that he became much more assertive and started asking me out and presenting me with ideas. But I'll be honest, I was a little turned off at his insecurity at first. He later told me he wanted to ask me out but was just very nervous, so I decided not to dwell on it and just appreciate that it worked out despite how it happened. But because I didn't want to do the pursuing, how would I have gotten him to do it?
If you have, forget the remainder of this Step and proceed on to the program I made that describes what you (in this specific situation) need to do next. Why? Because 3 or more, “yeses” at this point make it abundantly clear to me that here we have a Category A situation. Most breakups in which the girl ended it, are this. Don’t panic, I made this website for this situation more than any other. You are in the right place.
It motivated me to search for a job even more, to subscribe to a sport to meet new people and make friends, to give him the freedom and the life he was asking for. A few days after, we went to a party and i gave him his space, made friend with other girls, I was doing great but he started talking with his former booty call right in front of me, which of course, made me feel so bad and jealous. So I ignored him the rest of the night. But I apologised the day after and it was ok.
I dated someone for 2 1/2 years and it suddenly ended last week. He said I’m his best friend and he loves me deeply but there was a disconnect and he isn’t sure why. Said some things from the past concern him and it was time to move forward or let go. He said wasn’t sure if his feelings would come back and it wasn’t fair to him or me. He said he doesn’t have a negative word to describe me and he doesn’t understand it. Said if somethings meant to be it will be. He’s now going to therapy to work through his communication issues and commitment fears. As am I for my self worth.
×