Some arguing is normal in a relationship. You may go through phases of fighting due to outside factors, which is also normal. The important thing is how you argue, how you deal with arguments after, how you heal together, and the way you communicate. The best way to avoid a fight getting out of control is to walk out of the room and not escalate the situation.
We often hear men want only sex in the relationship but sex is not the only thing that man wants from his girlfriend or wife. Respect, interest and admiration are important more than sex for every man in the relationship. Many times men don’t tell truth about why he is quitting the relationship – this is mainly because he doesn’t want to see reaction from his girlfriend. In simple words, he doesn’t want to hurt you by telling you truth about why he is quitting relationship.
My boyfriend broke with me 2 weeks ago after a years. Said he had issues he needed to work on and focus on his kids and work. One week after not texting he finally did asking if we could talk. He told me he loved me and hated he was hurting me. I told him I thought our relationship was worth it and would give him time. Since then he has been out of town for work and has text and face timed me non stop. He actuallycalled me last night to ask if I had talked to any guys since he broke up with me. I want him back , what do I do
You have spent a month not contacting your ex. You spent that entire time working on yourself becoming more and more confident as the days past. Everything seemed to be going fine until you hit your first road block with a negative response. Make no mistake about it, negative responses are never good. However, they don’t EVER mean that you should give up right away. It just means you have to be smarter about how you approach things. Lets take a look at a negative response example (from my past) this is a true story.
Hi Lisa! Maybe make use of a limited NC. My best advice is you need to gain more insight and smarts on how this whole ex recovery thing works. That is why I created an ebook called, Ex Recovery Pro. Go take a look. You can get there by way of my website’s Menu, click on the link for “Products.” Chances are, you just need a few good ideas to tap into! I don’t think this will unresolve itself in a quick way.These things seldom do. But over time, he needs to realize and appreciate your value in his life. He is seems to be waffling a bit about commitment issues, unsure what to do.
Hello. I was with my ex boyfriend for only 4 months. Everything was amazing in the beginning. He has two kids. One is 8 the other 11. He is legally separated from his wife for 3 years and they hardly communicate unless it’s about the children. They also haven’t lived together in 3 years. They live in separate states two hours away. He met me and fell in love fast. So did I. He was saying he wanted a family with me and it was very soon but I felt deeply for him too. I ended up moving in with him after I found out I was pregnant. His ex found out and was holding the kids over his head because she isn’t over him still. They apparently had a terrible 13 years of marriage. From what his family had told me. She made him feel guilty about having a kid with someone else and keeps telling him he will give up on them. She manipulates. So anyway, after living together for a few weeks we got into a fight over the ex and I had moved out into my own place. We ended up getting back together after a while and my insecurities got the best of me and it ruined us. I was asking a lot of questions on how he feels about me. And if he’s over his ex. He says he is over both of us now. But I recently found out he spent the weekend with her and the kids but everyone is telling me he did it because it’s far and he wanted to stay with his kids. He denies he was there I guess to save the argument. He was always a good guy to me. We tried a good 2 times after that slowly. Just to see where it would go but I started in with the questions again. And I also got angry a few times and told him to sign over rights to me so I can raise the baby without him which I was wrong. I apologized. He forgave me. I love him but I’m just hormonal and scared I already damaged so much that I ruined it anyway. We were together 9 days ago physically. And yesterday we went to a doctors visit for the baby together but he said he doesn’t want to be with me because my insecurities and questions about feelings. He doesn’t want to deal with it anymore. I don’t know my best bet. I want a family. He does too. Before the whole thing with his ex we were amazing. So we once had a good thing. He also says we’ve only known each other 5 months and doesn’t know if it’s worth it all.
A huge obstacle to getting your ex back is fixating on the relationship, pining for what was lost, and wishing things would be different. Not only is it an obstacle to getting the relationship you want, it is an obstacle to your own sense of peace. Think about it. Most suffering arises from wanting the present moment or present situation to be different than what it is.
big problem here. my ex and I have been broken up for about 2 years. HOWEVER none of his relationships have progressed into anything and have always ended horribly. we have maintained contact since but I was the one who first initiated no contact and he always broke it. I sent him an apology letter in the mail and he and I eventually got back together after our neighbor had a talk with him. my ex suffers from "lone wolf syndrome". he hates any kind of attachment, is extremely stubborn and doesn't like anyone telling him what to do. one common thread is he always comes to me when his relationships fizzle out. I have no idea why because I have always maintained that I agree with being friends with him (since we broke up he insists he just wants to be friends but I HATE IT) and I strive to be the best one he has. I try to build him up and make him feel like he's doing the right thing with his life (when he gets down) and he has been helping me out too. even this past memorial day we had a REALLY good time with my friends (I introduced them to him because he had been feeling down). but recently he's fallen back into his shell because of some really stressful things going on in his life. I had texted him to see if he had wanted to come over and hang out to get away from it and he didn't text me at all. TWO WEEKS passed and I barely heard anything from him other than seeing he had been online. so I texted him saying I felt hurt and neglected and he responded with "I'm sorry you feel that way, I just want to be friends" now I can't stop thinking about what he said and I want to get OUT of the dreaded friendzone and get back to being his girlfriend. advice please! thank you :)...
Anyway, she decided to breakup, cause she lost all her feelings(it was 1.5 month ago). After that, I made common mistakes, again and again, and in the end I told her: "I give you 1.5 month(till the end of the summer) to think about it all. If you contact me during this period, we will try to build healthy relationship, in other case, I will be lost for you as a person, you will have no opportunity to talk to me/see me etc.". Now she is in another city(to visit parents, by the way, they are against me) abd she will be there for 3 weeks. My question is, how to make no-contact period after my words about "1.5 months", while she knows, that I'm waiting for that? And I have no conversations with her for a week, and when she returns-it will be the end of no-contact, but will she think of me, while she will be on a vacation with her parents? Maybe I have to contact her before these 1.5 months end? Or should I write her and tell, that I decided to take my words about 1.5 month back?
No Communication To Get Ex Back
My ex(27f) and I (31M) had avery intense but short relationship (3 months, even though we liked each other for longer than that). At the time of the breakup she started having a lot on her plate, studying something new, working on a project and starting work practices all at the same time, and then it was me, being afraid of losing her and showing it sometimes, I was making her stressed in a time where she needed space and support and ended up breaking up with me. I got into an emotional mess and during the break up day I tried everything, text, mails...She got fed up and blocked me.
Since I'm not familiar with your situation I don't know what the chances of getting your ex back are.. That said, this is my advice. As cliché as it is, I still believe in, "If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you it's yours. If it doesn't it never really was." Move forward by staying busy & trying new things. Spend time with family, go out with your friends, join a club, start a hobby, volunteer in your area, etc... There is nothing more appealing than seeing that your ex is not pining away but rather living life!!! I would not initiate contact, but if your paths cross be cordial - not gushy sweet & not too cool - just cordial. And know this - if you don't get back with the ex, it simply means this was not "the one." Good luck.
Ive recently gotten out of a 2 and a half year realationship and it has torn me to shreds. It drove me crazy cause he didnt give me a reason as to why he left other then he "lost the spark" when he didnt see me and that he "needs to find himself". It drove me mad because he left me four days after spending an amazing weekend with me and 2 days after asking me to go on a trip with him. Knowing him im afraid that even if there is a chance, which i feel deeply in my heart that there must be that hes going to be too stuborn to allow himself to want me. Hes ignoring me when i try to contact for my stuff back. Hes not the type of person to go out and meet someone to have coffee or do anything ever, he wont message me and im afraid that if i leave for a month i wont get my stuff back and i wont be able to get him to see me. We had something so specail that changed the both of us, i feel that he too must still love me as much as i love him considering the way things were before he left. I cant and dont want to wait forever to get ny stuff back, and when i get my stuff that will be my only chance of seeing him. I dont know what to do, and i dont know how i could ever get him to message me and have a conversation even after giving him space. Hes so stuborn and so am i, but ive given into everything. I just really dont know what to do when everything throughout the day makes me think of him and i can no longer sleep at night while he has a new job and is doing perfectly fine ignoring me and everything.
Going through the strangest break up at the moment as me and my ex mutually broke up because after 3 years, we both noticed she has no desire for penetration. The day after, we hung out to help her get parts for her car, ended up back at my place having the greatest sex we've ever had. She says that she doesnt feel the relationship pressure to do things perfectly and feels unhinged, but states that she wants to be FWB with a chance of getting together in the future. This is when I chose to use no contact. If we can have amazing sex with penetration after that, I'd like to see what 2 weeks or a month can lead to in terms of long term.
Not sure about this stiring of jealousy so to speak. I’ve tried to use a little bit of jealosy for my guy to realise I want him to call me as we haven’t spoken for days and also another time to make us ‘official couple’ and it backfired. As these events were near each other he exploded in once about both accusing me of being unloyal. Though my fault was that I simply sent him a screenshot of a guy (whom I talked to while we were on a break with him) who asked me out and I answered I’ve got back with my boyfriend. I said to my guy I was rejecting others while I didn’t even received responce from him. He got even more quiet and few days later after finally asking him was he angry about something he pushed me away saying he didn’t think it would work with me as I was chatting to others. He’s been hurt by an ex gf and is pretty much on the lookout for clues about unloyalty. Maybe for guys who are not that jealous yeah but I wouldn’t use this method any more!
We've been together for 4 years and then he purposed me. So we've in this relationship for 5 years, and were engaged. Im 28 and he is 30. I live at my mothers house and he lives with his. It was right after my father has passed away. He went to ask my father for my hand, actually. It feels like he really did love me, and tried his best. But I was to stubborn, critical and basically was pretty depressed with my whole life. We started to look for places to get married and planning the wedding, but it was too hard cuz we were not financially stable... Eventually we gave up and stopped looking for places for the wedding and doing the planning because 2 of us were too busy. I was really struggling having my life crisises, and he tried to support me, but we were always fighting. It led to many frustrations, lots of argues and comunication problems. After I started a new job I had no time to go sleep over at his place, and my cat was pregnant. I had no time for anything and was in a huge stress and depression. We became pretty distant and barely met. He tried to support me as much as he could, but I was very frustrated all the time, and we fought.
Hello. I broke up two weeks ago with my boyfriend after 5 years. we were living together so its much harder since he left the house. Its my fault, he doesnt trust me know but we also had a few communication problems and he is aware of these as he told me but he doesnt want to give another chance. I dont know what to do, i really want to show him that we must give it another try since we know our mistakes and we had a beautiful relationship all this time we were having fun, trips all the time, i know my mistakes know that i can think clear, i dont want to end up without give it a try. What should i do?:/
What does it mean when….. I said I want things over as I don’t think he’s in right place for a relationship (and he agreed) and I explained I wasn’t happy that things weren’t progressing, not enough respect etc…..he came back asking if I’d met someone and if I change my mind to talk to him again; I replied that I am opening myself up to dating again as there’s no real commitment with us; and that I think things would need to be different for me to explore more with him (as I don’t want casual or to be a texting buddy)….he then said in a midnight text ‘me too, about your honesty’ (which confuses me?) and I haven’t heard from him for over a week…and then not long after he accepted my long outstanding Facebook friend request (with friends/photos not accessible)……I don’t know what to read from that? And I’ve not contacted further.
Text To Get Ex Boyfriend Back
I broke up with my ex about six months ago after a five month relationship. it was very intense and he was completely in love with me. However i wasn’t ready for such a serious relationship so I broke up with him. i tried to be friends with him but he started acting a little needy so i cut off contact with him. over the past few months i’ve realized that i am ready for a relationship with him because i really did love him and he never did anything to hurt me i just wasn’t ready at the time. I texted him the other day asking to be friends and later that day, my friend told me he was seeing someone. I want to respect the relationship but also want him to know that i am willing to wait for him and in the meantime i’ll do things that make me happy. Is this a good idea? I feel like she is a rebound. he told me i was the love of his life and that he never felt a connection with anyone else like he did with me so i find it hard to believe that he is serious about the girl he started dating shortly after our breakup. Nonetheless if he is i will back off but i also feel like what we had isn’t over yet.
Try answering these questions: Do you miss your ex, or do you miss having a boyfriend or girlfriend? Did he or she make you feel better about yourself, more secure in the world, and happier? Do you imagine yourself with this person in the long-term, even when the excitement of being in love has worn off and you are stuck in the daily routines of life? If you are only missing the security of having someone and the excitement of a dramatic relationship, you can find those things with someone else in a healthier, more stable relationship.
What kills me is that he seems to be in love with me from a distance. I don’t want to go into details here, but, yeah, it’s pretty obvious. But, he’s been dealing with some pretty intense emotional trauma (the woman he dated before me abused him) and if he could speed up his recovery, then I’m sure he would, but abuse recovery just doesn’t work that way (I know; I’ve been abused too). I agree that minor sh*t can be quickly dealt with when necessary, but major sh*t takes time.
Walk away.. No contact (NONE no facebook likes, instagram etc.. no texting nothing, no birthday wishes no holiday wishes etc this ZERO CONTACT I promise if you continue to contact her you have 0 chance of getting back together). Your final statement to her should be… I care about you, I really don’t want a relationship unless it is a romantic one. Call me if you change your mind… DONE you NEVER contact her again. She has to contact you ONLY and do not reply if it is wishy washy bullshit.
Lauren, I believe your advice about giving the ex space is on point and I wish I had given mine a lot of space. I broke up with a man who suddenly dumped me with a phone message when he knew I was not home. Friends of ours told me to give him space, and I did not; big mistake on my part. He is with a woman he and his parents know, she is old enough to be his mother. He sometimes chats when he sees me in the area. I began to feel like I'm sitting on the back burner and decided to just greet him and not chat unless he wants to chat. A good male friend told me to give him six months, it has been three months, so I'll see what develops....
Now the remaining part of this website will show you psychological and practical strategies for how to get your ex-boyfriend back that you can work with to remove the feelings of neediness and insecurity. It doesn’t matter how dreadful you are feeling inside you these strategies will surely reverse the feeling of rejection that your ex boyfriend wants you to feel. This will shift the balance of power back in your relationship.
I’ve noticed in the comment section that comments aren’t replied to often by the author of the article, so I decided to give a response in hopes to help in some way. I think you should do what it says in the article. Stop focusing on getting him back and focus on yourself. I can tell you the more you chase a guy, the further he’ll run, so you really do need to stop reaching out to him and leave him alone as he requested. It feels counterintuitive, but I promise you the more you chase him the faster you’ll push him away. Leave him alone, and focus on yourself. Don’t look at him as your only source of happiness. If he is, you need to start building your life with things that make you happy—like the article says. It doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to be sad and grieve the breakup; but you need to take care of yourself emotionally regardless. Show yourself there’s more to your life and your happiness than Marc. It sounds to me like he’s not mature enough to be in a relationship if he can’t handle the normal struggles in life and meet your needs. In a relationship, even when things get really tough, you still have to be willing to make the relationship a priority. If he keeps breaking up with you every time he’s in a bad place emotionally, he’s not handling the balance of life and a relationship. It’s not your fault. And I don’t know if you can get him back. I think the important thing though is to love yourself FIRST, always. You really need to evaluate if you want a partner who leaves you every time things get tough. You can’t control him—you can only control yourself. So make changes in yourself. Stop being focused on him and getting him back, and get focused on you—just as he is doing. Put yourself first. Any of these relationship experts will tell you if you want your ex back, you have to work to getting over them first. That also sounds counterintuitive, but it isn’t. It helps you really get a clear mind on if this person is compatible to you or not, and it allows the person to miss you and realize their mistake if it was one. When you’re in this fog of heartbreak and love, you can’t look at it from a clear perspective, and if you keep contacting him you’re not giving him a chance to miss you. He has to miss you and have time apart from you to realize his mistake, if it is one. Take a step back and work on making yourself happy. I promise you, if he really wants you, he will come back and pursue you. You have to make sure you still want him at that point—and above all else BE SURE to continue to focus on your happiness FIRST even if you do get back together with him. The time for him to come back (if he does) really varies. Sometimes it’s a month, sometimes it’s a year. But you cannot wait for that. You have to work on moving on, even if he comes back. That’s going to give you your best shot at getting him back, and your best shot at being happy.
When you want to contact your ex-boyfriend, you must take great care in doing so. You don’t want to rush him and you don’t want to send the wrong message or vibes. Remember that not everyone is alike. You might be ready to have him back but he may not be ready to get back into a relationship with you. The way your relationship ended will also influence how you can make up with him. If the relationship ended because of things like cheating or lies, it could be extremely difficult to work things out. If it is a simple argument or fight that ended your relationship, it will be much easier to contact him and have him back.
Great article but didn’t work for me. I read an ebook and finally understood what I’ve been missing all this time. It’s all about triggering biological instincts men have that we women don’t understand because we are just so different. I realized that is why I lost him in the first place! Luckily, there are simple phrases you can use to trigger those instincts, get him back, and keep him hooked forever. Not only got my man back but he treats me like a princess! No more bs. He absolutely adores me and it’s damn effortless on my part. Every time he starts slacking in the relationship, I start talking this way and it stops instantly. Good luck ladies! You deserve a man who will do anything for you :)
I’m not sure if you can help me or not. So me and my ex were friends for nearly 2 years before we got together and after a discussion we decided that it would be a good idea to try dating each other (both of us had been wanting to date the other for at least 8months but hadn’t told eachother due to the friendship). Everything was going great and we made a promise that if things didn’t go to plan we’d stay friends because our friendship was important to both of us. We made it to just over 2 months and then broke up. It was a pretty easy break up, nothing too traumatic but the way he acted could perhaps been seen as a bit out of hand by some people. Though out the relationship everything was great, he treated well and with respect and he wasn’t pushy for sex. I also was respectful to him and treated him really well throughout. Everyone including myself always thought that we would last forever but I guess good things come to an end at some point. My boyfriend is 18 and I’m 16 so I guess that makes things more difficult. Anyway, we were great with eachother even up to the day of the breakup and then I found out that he had messaged his mate a week before saying he was “getting bored” of being in a realtionship with me and his mate told him to keep going on seeing how things went. Having found this out pretty late at night, I asked him as soon as I could the next morning. When I did, he agreed with what I had found out and we broke up. He told me that I had done nothing wrong and that he wanted to remain best friends as we previously were. He explained that due to me being his first girlfriend, he didn’t know what to expect in a relationship and due to this, he didn’t wanna be in a realtionship with anyone. He messaged me the next morning saying that he was sorry and felt like he had let me down. I didn’t reply. I decided to start no contact and have been doing so for the last 15 days. Before we broke up, it was planned that we would come to my school prom with me but now due to the break up and no contact this is no longer a plan that we have. I have been recently debating about whether or no I should ask him to come because even though we have broken up, I still love and feel bad because he shouldn’t have to miss out because of the breakup as he didn’t have a prom of his own and was really Looking forward to going to mine. He also organised a suit and we talked of how we were matching te dress and tie etc. I know that even if I keep up the 30 or 60 day no contact, I am still going to feel the exact same way about him as I always have and so I’m thinking of ending the no contact and asking him to prom with me, even if it just be as friends. I need to decide pretty quickly as I only have 2 days left to purchase the ticket but I’m scared that he will say no and I’ll end up hurt and I don’t know if it’s a bad idea to end no contact. I thinking that perhaps if I do ask him to prom and he says yes. I continue the no contact until the date of the prom? Do you think I should end no contact and ask him to prom with me?
Hi me and my bf broke up 3weeks ago and before the 3weeks at work I ws ignoring him bt he doesn’t want me to do that he keeps on sneaking up on me everywhere I am and he keeps on coming to me and kisses me for two weeks the 3week Monday we had sex and he told me he still loves me and kisses me and waiting for me outside the shop to walk together but he’s in a relationship with a married woman straight after we broke up bt he keeps on kissing me and stuff but he broke up but I want him back and I know he wants it to but I can see something is not right there becoz it’s his mother’s friend and she is 10years older than him he feels the same wY As i feel about him anyone who can help me please
When You Want To Get Back With Your Ex
Been trying to slowly get my long distance ex back since January, and we’re on speaking terms again now, and even though that’s a huge step forward, I still have doubt. He’s always been a kind of distant person, and since he first reached out to me like 2 months back, I have initiated all conversations since then. I’m suspecting that’s what you call the hot and cold-treatment? Still, I really wanna get him to open up and finally realize that he loves me after all. If y’all have any more tips, I’d love to hear them.
So far, so good? Great. Suggest a casual date by phone. No texts. No emails. Let her hear your voice and register some sincere effort on your part. “See if she’d like to join you at an art gallery opening, see a movie, or a hike on a sunny day,” says Spira. “It will give you the chance to get together in a relaxed environment, without too much pressure.” But remember, accepting your invite is just that—and not a sure sign she wants to get back together. If she turns you down, give her space. “Don’t beg, cry, or stalk her,” Spira says. “If it’s meant to be, she’ll come around on her own time-table.”
Relax. This advice isn’t for everyone, obviously. But if you’re absolutely positive about this girl, the ultimate bold move has had unparalleled success, says Frances. “Most of the time, the split is about commitment issues, so you’ve got to be coming back with terms she’ll be happy with.” And even if you’re not ready for the ring? You can learn something here: You have got to step it up and have a plan for the relationship. Period. No woman will rekindle a romance that’s not moving her forward…at least a little bit.
Me and my ex boyfriend has been dating for 4 months when I got pregnant with his first child. I instantly didn’t want the baby because I was afraid or had fear that he would leave me like my first baby father. He has a hard time expressing himself and communicating so I didn’t know until now that I truly broke his heart when I aborted our baby! I want to make things better and get a second chance with being him but he says it broke him! Then he started talking with this other female of course me being jealous and her because he was barely their for me emotionally after the abortion I slapped and hit him a few times out of hurt/emotion of him moving on so fast ! I know to follow the guidelines but I’ve asked him multiple times what are we doing where are we going with this, and he says I’m being pushy and pressuring him to be back with me. And I do not want him to do that .. I want him to make his decision based off the love he had for me in the beginning but I also don’t want to come second to the female he is dealing with. How do I fall back and careless about us getting back together? Or should I just move on completely knowing that I broke his heart after aborting our baby? He said it was worse than someone cheating on him. I’m just so confused
The way you communicate with her via text and in calls will need to change. Given that you’re in a breakup you’ve probably been doing it completely wrong, replying instantly to her messages even though she takes hours to get back to you. This has to stop, and you need to start communicating in a more attractive way, after the no contact period. That’s why I’m going to teach you how to get your ex-girlfriend back fast by text message, although be aware, texts are only part of it.
Again, this is risky since there is a higher chance of him saying no. However, if you two were really making a lot of progress via texting and you really think he is feeling the same way you are about your current relationship then the “I was in the neighborhood method” may do the trick for you. The obvious advantage is that you get an instant date/meet up!
Such great advice! For the first time since my bf has been ignoring me hardcore, I smiled at the thought that he’s really just a ninny ? The jerk left without a word and won’t pick up the phone when I call… No explanation just disappeared (I assume he’s my ex now?). I think I can handle ignoring him now. It’ll be hard, but this is encouraging. Thanks!
The process of getting back with an ex is not always easy. If it was you wouldn’t be doing research on the internet and you wouldn’t seek the help of relationship experts. One of the most challenging aspects of this process is the need to be self-critical and to constantly ask yourself the right questions to make sure that you act the right way and not fall into any of the pitfalls along the way.
Swetnick said that Kavanaugh and Judge attended a party where she was drugged and sexually assaulted at the age of 19, but added: "I cannot specifically say that he was one of the ones who assaulted me. But before this happened to me at that party, I saw Brett Kavanaugh there. I saw Mark Judge there and they were hanging about the area where I started to feel disoriented and where the room was and where the other boys were hanging out and laughing. I could hear them laughing and laughing."
Me and my ex were together for about 3.5 years living together, have been broken up for nearly 5 months now with a 9 month old baby i moved out completely. The relationship did become toxic on both ends. We broke up because he had cheated on me and i stayed with him but didn't want to and was felt pressured so i never got through the pain he caused and did not forgive him for it i ended up being depressed as a result we did fight a lot. I found out that he started talking to her again after about 4-5 months so i decided to leave him. for about 3 weeks i didn't talk to him unless it had to do with our child. After we talked fine seen each other a few times and then in between that we did have a fair few arguments due to the present feelings and hurt being there where i called him a bad father and he did this he did that why he doesn't do this why he doesn't do that he hasn't tried to fight for his family blah blah you get the picture. there have been times where he has told me he loves me and he wants to change but hasn't acted on it. he has been out most weekends partying drinking and was gambling every day for 4 months. he has told me he loves me and the woman he loves left him with his child and i think apart of him resents me for taking his child away i also think that he is bit depressed and not sleeping properly and was drinking a lot. he has once come to me and asked for help and then shut me out. he believes that i need to work on myself and change and respect him before we move forward. He blames me for everything and thinks i should be the one to fight for him. i still want to be with him and believe things can be different i also told him that i won't get back with him unless things are different. he has stopped gambling for a month now i don't no the reasons to it. the last conversation we had he exploded at me because i brought up the other woman and why he was still talking to her and he told me i had no right and it wouldn't of happened if i never left him and that me not going back to him is giving her hope and she is beating me at my own game and then said if i want to be with him i can but i have to not bring his past up ever again. the conversation didn't end to well to him saying that he doesn't want to be with me or her and that we are over for good because i said i was quite happy without him. since then i chose not to talk to him for a whole month. i never returned his calls and he turned up the other day for 10 mins to see his daughter and left because he was busy. The month is now up and it is his first fathers day in 3 days i was just going to turn up and surprise him with his daughter i don't no if this is the best approach? i still haven't reached out to him what steps should i take from here? i have now forgiven him and have gotten fast all the hurt and pain he caused and still i am willing to give it another try.
Probably start by an apology and try to get her to rationalize things through your point of view. If she doesn't want to and insists that she's unhappy still and wants to leave, you could either try going up to her once your exams end and make it up to her, or consider walking away because she wasn't understanding enough to your situation and only wanted what was best for herself emotionally.