First things first, you are going to become the sexiest version of yourself that the world has ever seen. Let’s say you and I were dating and we had a fight and broke up (I know I am a horrible boyfriend 😉 .) Anyways, after a month of you basically freezing me out (no contact) I happen to bump into you at a Starbucks or somewhere where we both frequented. The first thought I have of our encounter will be based on the choices that you made during the 30 day no contact period. If you sat around feeling sorry for yourself and ate ice cream on the couch all day I will probably think “she looks terrible.” However, if you spent that no contact time working on yourself physically and mentally I am probably going to think “WOW! She is even more beautiful than I remember.”
Oddly enough, many of my clients were successful in re-establishing contact with their ex boyfriends by simply not even trying.  They didn’t do anything except move forward with their lives, focusing on bettering themselves personally and professionally.  In a way, it is a form of what I call Passive No Contact or Passive Radio Silence.  It works for some people.  They figure that if their boyfriend dropped them, then so be it and instead of becoming dependent and addicted to their ex boyfriend, they choose to embrace other things in their life, doing those things they want to do and accomplish. Then as they focus on those things and have success, often times their ex boyfriends show up realizing they made a huge mistake letting their girlfriend go.
I’ve noticed in the comment section that comments aren’t replied to often by the author of the article, so I decided to give a response in hopes to help in some way. I think you should do what it says in the article. Stop focusing on getting him back and focus on yourself. I can tell you the more you chase a guy, the further he’ll run, so you really do need to stop reaching out to him and leave him alone as he requested. It feels counterintuitive, but I promise you the more you chase him the faster you’ll push him away. Leave him alone, and focus on yourself. Don’t look at him as your only source of happiness. If he is, you need to start building your life with things that make you happy—like the article says. It doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to be sad and grieve the breakup; but you need to take care of yourself emotionally regardless. Show yourself there’s more to your life and your happiness than Marc. It sounds to me like he’s not mature enough to be in a relationship if he can’t handle the normal struggles in life and meet your needs. In a relationship, even when things get really tough, you still have to be willing to make the relationship a priority. If he keeps breaking up with you every time he’s in a bad place emotionally, he’s not handling the balance of life and a relationship. It’s not your fault. And I don’t know if you can get him back. I think the important thing though is to love yourself FIRST, always. You really need to evaluate if you want a partner who leaves you every time things get tough. You can’t control him—you can only control yourself. So make changes in yourself. Stop being focused on him and getting him back, and get focused on you—just as he is doing. Put yourself first. Any of these relationship experts will tell you if you want your ex back, you have to work to getting over them first. That also sounds counterintuitive, but it isn’t. It helps you really get a clear mind on if this person is compatible to you or not, and it allows the person to miss you and realize their mistake if it was one. When you’re in this fog of heartbreak and love, you can’t look at it from a clear perspective, and if you keep contacting him you’re not giving him a chance to miss you. He has to miss you and have time apart from you to realize his mistake, if it is one. Take a step back and work on making yourself happy. I promise you, if he really wants you, he will come back and pursue you. You have to make sure you still want him at that point—and above all else BE SURE to continue to focus on your happiness FIRST even if you do get back together with him. The time for him to come back (if he does) really varies. Sometimes it’s a month, sometimes it’s a year. But you cannot wait for that. You have to work on moving on, even if he comes back. That’s going to give you your best shot at getting him back, and your best shot at being happy.
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Hi I met this girl at work and we started dating for like 6 months she said she love me so much and she feels so comfortable and very happy with me and I felt the same way too, everything about us was good. We planned of living together and our future too, suddenly I just knew that she has a boyfriend for almost 3 years now. Few days ago she told me that she don’t wanna continue dating me bcos of her boyfriend. I really don’t know what to do at this time I really love her. I wanna know what should I do in this kind of situation?
Well she did say she came ready to have a hard time and so at first it was difficult for both of us, we ended up laughing and she grabbed my arm and everything at the end of the day so I guess she ended up relaxing and enjoying herself, said she was glad to have seen me...She said she won't have a relationship with me but agreed to continue to meet up and that after I expressed my true intentions and feelings, that I was commited to change, that I loved her and that I didn't gave up that dream, so we did have an intense talk first thing and then we just enjoyed each other's company. So I guess...There's hope there. In my opinion now I have to continue improving myself, being a friend for her like when we started and just be trully patient. While I wasn't expecting to get back together right there and then it went well I think, now I can see her again and continue to show her that I'm commited to real change and that I'm there.
I have been wondering how to make him love me again, realise he made a mistake and give a second chance. It is even harder as he is in another country. Plus, I really don’t think the NC rule would work on him, because I have been the one who asks question in our relationship, who kept the conversation going when we lived apart for a few weeks. I believe if i implement it now, it will just give him the opportunity to move on, to forget me, because he has a lot going on otherwise (studies, friends, handball, parties…). Did i also ruin my chances by begging for it so much?

Get Ex Back Jealous


Thank you so much for the advice. I ended up sending a text two days ago just to check on him (nothing emotional) but I know I shouldn't have. He then last night blocked me on Instagram and deleted most of our pics. I think that is a nice way of saying leave me the heck alone until I am ready. Just very shocked after 4 years. But I will hold strong. Hopefully things will work out for the best.
Hi. I'm in no contact and eventhough I told her I needed space and wouldn't text anymore, my ex has been messaging me a few times. I'm starting to worry that if I keep ignoring that she'll be mad at me. And that when no contact is over and I contact her she might take revenge and ignore me as I did to her. What do I do? Do i restate that I still need some time for myself? Or do I just keep ignoring?
Your behavior after your breakup holds the key to your chances of getting your relationship back. There are a lot of mistakes to be made, and if you behave inappropriately or in the wrong manner, you may have the opposite effect that you’re looking for. In other words, if you’re not careful you may just push your ex-boyfriend away for good – and that’s the last thing in the world that you want to do. The problem is that getting a hold of your emotions after a breakup is an exceedingly difficult task.
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