In 2012, my little brother Adam died. My life shattered, and I spent the next month drunk in bed. It had been four years since Mary and I had spoken, but it spoke volumes to me that she came out of the woodwork to send me a handwritten note expressing her sorrow for Adam’s death. Through everything—the fights, the skipped plans, the immaturity—she found it in herself to reach out to me. I was blown away, and she was back in my life. We learned that we only lived a few blocks away from each other, and that is how we started dating for the fourth and final time. Once again we started seeing each other as friends. We always met up at this one café in the Lower East Side. I’d get a coffee, and she’d get a bagel.

My ex broke up with me two weeks ago, because of a text I sent him AND he broke up with me over the phone. We have broken up maybe ten times already this year and I am honestly so drained. He is extremely controlling, jealous, possessive, obsessive and verbally and mentally abusive. But HE broke up with me after I put up with all those horrible traits he has. But for some reason, this break up hit me real hard. HEs not the same guy I met in the beginning and I’m starting to think THIS is really who he is. He said he won’t change and that there is nothing wrong with him and that this is all my fault. I have become obsessive like him and I’m feeling so lonely and sad, over someone who once even called me a whore because he has zero trust in me, and I have always been honest and loyal to him. I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to get out of the house and do things that I like but I’m feeling a little depressed over it. I don’t know he still has this much power over me. I even called him crying and screaming telling him I’m having a hard time over this break up and I think he’s getting a kick out of it. I feel like he stole my mojo cuz I used to be so tough in the beginning. Now .... I lost my female balls and I feel like I will never find someone again who will love me like he did. But why would I want someone to love me the way he did when clearly it was a toxic love. Any advice on how I can get myself back? I’m more concerned about getting my balls back rather then him. I apologize for the language but this is the best way I can’t describe what I feel. He controlled me so much that even without him I still feel like I’m under his control. Any advice please?!
Getting back on his feet involved reconnecting with old friends, and making contact with new ones as he pursued interests in activities he enjoyed. He joined a book group, found a place with religious services that he liked. He recalled the sports activities that in better times, he used to enjoy and returned to doing those activities again. Bit by bit, his spirits lifted.
I want to point this out because often times when you are in the process and mindset of getting back with an ex, you can tend to forget that it’s also about you being happy rather than simply being in a relationship with the person that you love. It’s OK for you to be unhappy; it’s OK for you to voice your discontent at times and to set certain expectations for your significant other.

But no matter what you’ll have to seduce your ex and inspire them to get back together. Getting an ex back is often linked to your ability to be yourself and to not let your emotions or feelings change who you are at your core. So don’t try to seduce your ex by being someone you’re not; it won’t be sustainable anyways and your ex will probably see right through you!
This is a tough one to give any opinion on, but if he's chosen to do the responsible thing (which is really commendable), he's accepted whatever emotions and hurt as part of the consequences of his actions (whether it's hatred for his life, unhappiness, etc). Determining whether he eventually comes back to talk to you may be another thing altogether, because it would be dependent on whether he eventually forgives himself for his actions and whether he thinks its even a good idea to contact you again.
Luckily, the period of no contact will give you the time to put in place practices and structures to help you drop your stories and see things in a more positive light. Journaling, meditating, and yoga also helps. Maybe it sounds a little too new-age for you, but intense emotional experiences can send your thoughts into overdrive, so it’s really important to try and find a stillness within and learn to quiet your mind, or at least slow it down a bit.
Act like nothing is wrong. Even if your guts are tumbling like clothes in a washing machine, try not to let her know. She's probably not going to want you back if you're acting depressed, mopey, or sulky. Make sure you're laughing and genuinely trying to have a good time. You might find that you've become a happier person along the way. If you are feeling depressed, surround yourself with friends or family. Don't wait alone in a corner and just hope for her to come back to you.
Hi Natasha! You’re awesome! My boyfriend broke up with me, and I’m feeling terrible… my question is, my bf was not a narcissist.. I made mistakes and I started to pushing him because he lived with his mother, he is 39… and I’m 31 and I didn’t felt his priority, we had plans to get married, I’m applying no contact since he broke up with me, I didn’t begged him and I was calm, that was almost a month ago and he hasn’t reach me…. do you think that this works for a man who is not a narcissist? He is not a bad guy.
J and I were together for a little over 4 years and for about the last year of the relationship things got really rough. We went off to separate colleges but didn’t think it would be a problem since we had went to different high schools and lived about an hour from each other anyway. The summer before we moved to college J started acting different, like a real ass, and the week before I moved in to school he broke up with me. I convinced him to still help me move in so I didn’t have to explain to my parents. That night, after I moved in, he begged me to come back home so we could talk so I did. We ended up crying and saying how much we didn’t want to lose each other and got back together. About a week after I had been in school I got this gut feeling and so I checked his social media messages (we had each other’s passwords, it was fair game). Sure enough my gut was right. There were messages from many girls from his college, asking for his number, him inviting them over, back massages, all the typical. One girl (we’ll call her C) he seemed really interested in. But I didn’t overreact I just simply asked him if he’d been talking to any girls, inviting them up, any of that. His response was no. I asked him three times. He said no every time. So I sent him the screenshots, apologized for getting on his stuff, and said you lied to me we are done. That was late August 2013. He started begging pleading apologizing and I would see him some but then a guy from my school, that I was really attracted to, came into the picture. I started hanging out with him a lot, we kissed, nothing more (we’ll call him V). I really liked him but he started talking bad about J and bashing my lifestyle, kinda made me mad. I had told J I had kissed him and really liked him. Then J’s grandpa got really sick. I knew I had to be there for him. Finally after going round n round we got back together at the beginning of November 2013. I didn’t fall in love with him again until the end of January. V was still persistent and we talked a lot. However, J won me back and I fell all over again. School started back late January and things started going down hill again. Me and V started talking some again and J started being a butt. Then it happened. Early February I found out I was pregnant…me and J were devastated, terrified. It’s all we ever wanted but we knew we couldn’t do it. We made the executive decision to abort it. Two days before I was to terminate my pregnancy I got a call from J asking if I could come get him, he had “locked his keys in his truck”. I said I’d meet him half way but I was too sick (from the pregnancy) and very tired and couldn’t make that drive. He agreed. So I went to get him and took him home. Two days later I made the most regretful decision of my life (I hate myself for it) to terminate my pregnancy. At first things were hard. But we got better, him and I. Then on spring break, I was playing games on his phone and checked his messages. He had a texts from C, the girl he was interested at the begging of the year. The text read: from him: where’s my pants? Lol from her: I don’t know haha. I WAS LIVID. Thinking the obvious, obviously. Then I put two and two together. I checked the date on the messages and sure enough they were from the night his keys supposedly got locked in his truck. The truth was they had actually been thrown away with his pants with the girl he was interested in. I didn’t break up with him though because of everything that had happened and his grandpa was still really sick. We got better, celebrated a great birthday together (only a day apart), and things were looking up. I was in love with him. He was in love with me. We grew close again. Then V started wiggling his way back in. We texted casually, quite often though. J got mad. I wasn’t meaning to hurt him but idk, I guess my thought was look how much you’ve hurt me I can at least talk to him, immature I know. In early June we lost J’s grandpa. It was devastating. He was so broken, it hurt to see him hurt. It brought us close again. We had a wonderful family vacation at the lake, gosh I loved him. Then when school started back things got bad again. We fought a lot. We broke up again, I started hanging out with V, kissed, nothing more. I kinda stopped trusting J. We got back together, the last date we went on was mid October 2015. We fought at first but ending up having a wonderful time and that’s when I decided I was going to move close to him and be with him and we were going to get right. Not too long after that though, he broke up with me. It made me mad. He kinda begged for me back, we fought, said a lot of mean things to each other, it got really really bad. He told me he wanted me. Finally i softened up and three days after that I agree. However he tells me it’s too late. 3 DAYS! So I begged, pleaded, cried, apologized, stalked, hacked. Name everything not to do to get your ex back and I did it. He claimed his new girl was better than me and he wasn’t happy and didn’t love me and didn’t care. I heard it all. He was so mean. (This started January 2015). I still begged, cried, called. He started blocking me. (End of feb) After the second time he blocked me I got mad and left him alone..for 10 days. During that time he called and facetimed but never text. I Finally answered him late one night and he was crying. Saying how much he love loved me, how sorry he was, asking if I changed, all that. He then text me that night and said “you’re the only one I’ve been with. I’m tired of f***ing it up with us. I want to f*** it up with everyone else then hope you will love me again one day.” So I begged and pleaded some more. By the time spring break came around I had given up. Then of course he contacted me again. Trying to apologize. He got mad because I thought I didn’t tell him happy birthday but I did, he just didn’t get it. 2 weeks later he tried to contact me asking if I was going to a certain concert and who I was going with. He even logged on to my Instagram, made it public, and added himself back then messaged me so I would talk to him, deleted the conversation when we finished. This was mid April and I was thoroughly confused because he’s told me to move on, he’s moved on, he loves her, he doesn’t hurt anymore, to leave him alone. So I was trying to do that. He contacted me again on facebook at the end of April 2015 trying to convince me we were not meant to be together, of course I didn’t agree, we messages back and forth some then he stopped talking. I just left it alone. That was a Tuesday, the following saturday I got a friend request from him on facebook and realized that after our conversation he had deleted me as a friend. Every time we had a conversation on social media and he didn’t agree with what I had to say he deleted me so at this point I had changed my number and blocked him on everything but facebook. But after I realized he deleted me I blocked him on there too. Ok, so now it’s about a month since that happened. His girlfriend is all about him. I went to his little cousin’s baseball game this past Monday and his family was there but he was not. His aunt cried as did I when I had to leave. That night I text his mom just to see how school and everything went for him. Then he text my mom asking her to have me text him. I didn’t. Then he tried to turn it around that it was my fault. He said he tried to talk to me and would talk every time I wanted to but now I had him blocked on everything. Saying how he had been hurt too and all of that jazz. I still haven’t gotten ahold of him. If he’s moved on like he said why won’t he just let me be? I want to make amends with him because I realize all the hurt I caused. I know what to do better now, I just need to know if there’s a chance to get him back. There’s been a lot of damage but I honestly can forgive it all because I love him. He’s very stubborn and he’s saying never again. Someone please give me some advice on what to do. I want him back and a better us, I’m ready to grow up and get passed all this stupidity but it’s hard when he is being so stubborn. I need some coaching on what to do, is there any hope? He still told me he loved me on spring break, and always would, he just thinks we were no good and all I see is the good. HELP PLEASE, I know it’s messed up, but it can be better, I just need him to see that. I love him, I miss him, and I want to make us right. We used to be so good but distance, school, and stress got in the way.
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How To Know If Your Ex Wants To Get Back Together


Yes, I felt free in a way but totally sad ’cause I did wanna hang or talk or something, but he’s been a jerk for ignoring so long. I need to respect myself, but I want him back too. I haven’t blocked him from WhatsApp or Facebook, don’t plan to really, and I haven’t talked to him, but I really miss him. Should I just stand my ground and not reach out to him? I feel like this is the right thing to do and perhaps try to move on, but I love him. Thank you so much for your help and time, it means the world to me, well, to all of us.
You're going to have dig a little deeper and try to understand what caused her sudden change of heart. Often, unless the person has commitment issues and is always looking for a way out of the relationship, thoughts of not working out usually don't develop overnight and have larger underlying issues tied to it, just that the other party may not have brought it up. Your chances are dependent on what this underlying issue is, and whether its something that can be resolved or not to win her back.
“Hi! I’ve been a fan of your work for over five years now. When I broke up with my ex, I was devastated. Then I read a lot of your stuff about getting your ex back. It changed my thinking and my thinking changed my life. I worked on myself. I started doing makeup, became a makeup artist, launched my makeup line, and have started to get recognition. I feel so good about myself now and I have no regrets. Now my ex wants me back but I realized I don’t want to go back because I’m moving forward. Thanks for everything you’ve shared and written.”
Heres the thing, I had been an addict for the last 7 years, and I hid it from everyone, especially him. But it dominated my life and I know that it affected how his feelings developed. I wouldn't spend the night at his place bc i need to come home and get high. I would show up late to things bc I would be getting high until the very last second. Addicts don't care about anyone but themselves, and I never put in the effort to making him happy. He never knew how bad it was, and I don't think he even knows how it affected the relationship, but I do.

My name is Alli and I was with my boyfriend for about 4 years. He broke up with me almost 2 weeks ago because he found out I had been using his debit card to get my nails, buy clothes and also pay for my car. I never stole his card though. He would always give it to me on the weekends to go to the grocery store and buy booze if we were having people over. He makes a lot more money they I do so he never had an issue with it. He also gave me his PIN and trusted me. I honestly did not spend a lot but once he found out he kicked me out. At first I was so sad and still am but I now know what i did was beyond awful and a breach of trust. He did the right thing and I dont know if I will ever be able to forgive myself. He told me that he cares and loves me but If i truly care for him I will give him space and he will reach out when ready. I have no contacted him since then. I want to everyday but I know if I do then I am showing him I do not care about how he feels. He told his parents we are broken up but did not tell them what I did. I am very close with them by the way. He still has all of our pics up on social media and so do I and his parents. I was too ashamed to tell him I was falling behind on my car and embarrassed and thought he wouldn't want to be with me if he found out. I want to pay him back but he says its not about the money it is the trust. His good friend told me after a month to take him to dinner and show him everything I have accomplished (saving money and working on myself). He has handled this entire thing so classy because he could have told everyone what I did or told me to never reach out to him or that we are done forever but he didn't. I know you dont know me or him or us but I want to know what you think. We have never had any huge fights like this before or broken up. We are happy and have so much chemistry together. We both cried when I had to get my stuff and move back into my dads. I know it was very tough for him. Hes such a genuine, good guy that I dont want to lose him or his family. I hope what I did can be forgiven. Any insight or advice would be greatly appreciated. I have already been following the no contact rule. Just want to know how to win him back and show him I have changed because I really have been working on myself.


These 3 steps are based on simple psychological techniques that work extremely well after a breakup. It’s not some mind tricks and cheap gimmicks that you will use to trick your ex into getting back together. If you are planning to trick your ex or force them into being with you, you are just going to end up in another miserable breakup. This guide will teach you how to start a new relationship with your ex; a relationship that actually has a chance of being a long lasting healthy relationship. Not the same old one which ended in this breakup.
Sometimes guys will think they have just fallen head over heals for someone else.  But sometimes the truth is that it’s not love, bit just pure sex.  So you may be wondering, how will I ever get my ex back if he is hooking up with some other girl.  Well, we are going to get into all that, but for now, just know that sometimes boyfriends will wander off either because they are lured away or that just have not yet learned that they are risking blowing up the good thing they have going with you.

Dark Science To Get Ex Back


My bf split up with me last week after 2.5 years living together. We were committed to each other and always were making plans for the future. This article really resonated with me as I can see where things went wrong perhaps (I have been confused all week) I feel I pushed him away by trying to get it to go in a certain way (ie pressuring him about children – but then feeling like we came to agreement) I am 36 and had come out of a toxic marriage when we met. I then got made redundant he had two lots of sugery on his hand and then I had a brain haemorrhage! All within 3 months! We then spent 3 months recovering together with each other everyday meaning that sex was off the table as we were both too ill and the fun disappeared. I felt it was just about getting back to normal and starting doing what we used to. He then started acting very distant and said he didn’t know what was wrong and that he didn’t want to break up. I then started feeling incredibly vulnerable and probably a bit needy as I felt everything in my life was slipping through my fingers. And then he ended it. I’m in shock I feel that a combination of stress and situation has pushed him away from me and I’ve lost him forever. I felt we were so solid and committed and now he says there’s something missing and we can never go back. Is there any hope?
Ex got mad during no contact. I'm currently on day 2 of no contact and she just started a fight about why I suddenly wanted to stop talking. I told her I needed space to set my mind straight. Just like I already explained before breaking contact. Still she said that I'm awful for playing her emotions like this. Since I said I wanted to keep post breakup contact and then a day later I found out about no contact 30 days and decided to try it. So I said no more contact after all. She ended up deleting me from social media. What do I do? What if after no contact is done she's still mad? Then I can't initiate the next step of casually contacting her followed by asking her out for coffee.

I Wish I Could Get My Ex Back


My ex and I were together for 7 years. In the first year, he looked at some messages and caught me messing around. But i was a kid (19) and we moved past it, it meant nothing. we've been so happy since then, and i never fooled around ever again. i fell in love with my boyfriend so hard. fast forward 6 years to now, he randomly looked at my chat with a friend while we were in a fight (i know hes never done this, not sure what prompted him to do it this time. everything happens for a reason tho bc this was the first time i had some scandalous stuff in my messages.) my messages showed my recent dumb move, i was pulling this crazy long trick on a friend (it spiraled out of control, i lied about details etc...) saying i was cheating when i wasnt. the lies were elaborate and stupid, where i talked about hooking up with someone when i havent even looked in anyone else's direction in reality. (it's silly i know, but my therapist said it has a lot to do with the meds i was on for adhd recently.) anyways, my boyfriend saw this stuff, and told me i have serious issues and that he cant trust me anymore. has told me to get lost for life. doesnt even wanna talk about it. hes oddly very calm and has told me he wont be changing his mind, this is the end and i should really move on because he is well on his way. we broke up and i did everything based on my emotions, send texts, emails, letters, and begged at his place. he told me if i dont stop he's gonna call the cops, and that none of my crying or begging has any effect on him anymore. he says he thought about what happened and he deserves better and wants to move on. ive been getting help and i really would do anything to have him back. i sent a final 8 pg letter yesterday explaining that i am not a cheater, or a liar, or crazy, and that im getting therapy and making changes in my life, and that i would like to speak to him again when i am better. he texted me saying, "good for you. i hope you make changes and i know you will make someone else happy in this life once u do that. im not changing my mind unfortunately, i wish you nothing but the best, please move on." it broke my heart. we are good together. i don't know how he easily moved on so quick, but we both know he can. he's a mature, principaled man. i'd like to do NC, but I dont want him to move on for good during NC. i know he's trying to cut me out of his life bc he's done with me. but i dont want to lose him forever. hes the love of my life. He loved me and treated me amazing. what do you think i should do?
Thank you so much for the advice. I ended up sending a text two days ago just to check on him (nothing emotional) but I know I shouldn't have. He then last night blocked me on Instagram and deleted most of our pics. I think that is a nice way of saying leave me the heck alone until I am ready. Just very shocked after 4 years. But I will hold strong. Hopefully things will work out for the best.
Yes, there are certain rules even for your mini date/meet up or whatever you want to call it. As stated above, you want to keep this meet up as casual as possible. Don’t plan to meet over a nice dinner. I suggest getting coffee at Starbucks with chairs and couches where the two of you can just sit and talk. Another great idea would be to meet up at a park and go for a walk together. Honestly, the dates I have enjoyed the most wasn’t anything super romantic it was just when I was enjoying the company of someone else and walking around.
Hey my name is julian and my gf in which i love very dearly i meessed things up very badly, where i had low key neglected her.her and i had been dating for 17 months. We broke up 3 weeks ago and i have been hella clingy. I would message her for over 2 weeks. Then i had talked to her and told her how i would do anything to fix it. She said there us probably a 1% chance of getting back togethershortly after that I was like ok i accepted it. We still follow each other on social media and its obvious she is posting more and more because we dont talk anymore. I am afraid i ruined things for sure. And i really want to get back together with her because i want to marry her.
Definitely focus on improving yourself first before trying to win her back again. However, since you've been together only for a month there may be a possibility that she would move on so you'll have to prepare for that. Use this as a learning curve on where you're lacking and work on improving yourself, and if you want to win her back after, you should treat it as if you were chasing her for the first time.
That's great to hear. Yes, your happiness should always come first. Remember that no breakup is easy and it may be a painful experience to go through, but it does make you stronger and it gets easier with each day. Even if you don't move on and still have feelings for him after a period of time, picking yourself up from the negative emotions and learning to accept things as they are and being okay with it does help in winning your partner back too.
Out of the blue he just stopped talking to me. We go to the same school and there we usually talk but one day he started avoiding me and stopped texting me, too. A couple days later I found him before school and tried to ask him what was going on. He didn’t really answer. When I asked him if he still wanted to be together, all he did was shrugged. I was very upset at his response and just walked away.
My ex ended this 1st April (nearly a month ago). I begged. After day 1 he wanted to talk. After a week he never wanted to see me again. I did NC for 4 days until my sister told him to message me (I got sexually assaulted and needed emotional support). He messaged me. He seemed off. We spoke every day. Well I went one day (a couple of times) not replying. I found out I was pregnant. I told him. He was good about it. He told me to get rid of it. I got scared. Basically I messaged him saying I can’t. We argued about me needing him and he said he doesn’t know what to do. Yesterday I said I’m bored of feeling hated. I need my friend back. He said he doesn’t hate me. I went on about feeling hated and being scared of the abortion. I asked if he could see me. He YELLED at me. I ignored him (which is what he wanted me to do all month he even said I went crazy) but 10 minutes later he messaged me back calmer and with this solution: He said I could see him (in Germany) if I get the abortion and it’ll be the last time we ever see each other and we can have a proper goodbye. I went on saying I want to see him before. It ended up him saying he did hate me. I killed the guy I dated (because I said I missed what he used to be like). I messaged him yesterday and he said I can go and see him after the abortion. I asked if he still had access to my Facebook account he said no. I said I hope he is well. Also he told someone that he couldn’t stand me earlier today. Should I initiate NC properly now? Is there any hope? Why would he start off saying he didn’t hate me and now does? Why would he double message after I ignored him when he yelled? I’m so confused please help me.
Going through the strangest break up at the moment as me and my ex mutually broke up because after 3 years, we both noticed she has no desire for penetration. The day after, we hung out to help her get parts for her car, ended up back at my place having the greatest sex we've ever had. She says that she doesnt feel the relationship pressure to do things perfectly and feels unhinged, but states that she wants to be FWB with a chance of getting together in the future. This is when I chose to use no contact. If we can have amazing sex with penetration after that, I'd like to see what 2 weeks or a month can lead to in terms of long term.
Know when it's not working. If you'd been back with your ex for a while and something just isn't right, then it may be true that you did break up for a good reason, after all. Some couples thrive on the drama of breaking up and getting back together, but there's usually a reason why two people can't stay together, and it's that they just aren't right for each other. If the same problems are creeping up again, or you or your ex just aren't happy, then it may be time to take the relationship off life support.
Hi Lauren, I've been wrestling with this with family and friends and thought maybe someone else online could help.Here's my situation. I have known my fiance for over a year, we met online and have visited each other many times. I've flown over to ireland three to four times for weeks at a time and she had visited the US for six weeks to try it out in february and for the fiance visa for six weeks in July-Sept. We would talk everyday for four to five hours a night while we were apart. She is very close to her family and loves her country. She believes Ireland is the best thing since refried beans. My plan was for her to Move to the US and we could live there while she could visit ireland for two to three months every year with the future kids for summer and christmas and then we'd move to ireland for good when I retired since I'm the bread winner and my specified job is in america (I'm a petroleum Engineer). However she back peddled and said she doesn't think what we had is strong enough to leave her family. So she came up with a five year plan. When she moved to the US for five years then we have to move back to ireland and find work there. I really loved her to i agreed to the promise. Well while she was over in the US for the fiance visa she started getting really homesick. A week or so before the wedding she said she realized why she had doubts about the marriage and that was that she loved me but wasn't "in love with me" and that I should treat her more like a lover instead of a friend. But to not worry about it and we can work on it. The next night she popped the question. "If i wanted to go back to ireland in a year will you go with me?" I said no. "what about after five years to raise our kids?" I sighed and just said no. She called off the wedding and cried alot. I should have said something other than no. Like, yes that's our plan. Or we'll do what's best for our fam...
You put your self-worth, your happiness, your dreams and your entire life on the back burner just so you could be with your ex. Sometimes, people do it just to hold on to the possibility of being with their ex in the future. It’s a direct consequence of begging and pleading. It makes your ex think “Well, if you are that desperate to be with me, then you must accept everything that I want.”
Thank you very very very much for the advice! Everyone: follow this advice exactly and there is not a chance you’ll not have the desired result! Actually I’m a mum and used this article to advice my girl who was separated and very miserable She followed exactly what I told her and I prayed it would work as I had no experience at all It worked!! It worked great actually and under the worst circumstances!! Thank you is not enough really!
Thankfully, you have reached to the right place. This is because techniques and knowledge you will get from this website will not only help you in understanding how to get your ex boyfriend back but also help you in creating strong relationship. This website contains more than just simple strategies. I am 100% sure you never know the strategies that is mentioned in this website.
"I can see now," Peter explained to her, "that in my depression about work I became totally self-centered. I withdrew from you, so no wonder you felt angry and distanced from me. As both of us withdrew from each other we lost our sexual connection.  I felt desparate for attention.  Then I took the ultimate wrong turn by seeking sexual attention from an infidelity. Big mistake!  I'm so glad that now I'm looking for a job that will be a better fit for me. I think I've found one, and I'm thrilled at the prospect."  
Sometimes guys will think they have just fallen head over heals for someone else.  But sometimes the truth is that it’s not love, bit just pure sex.  So you may be wondering, how will I ever get my ex back if he is hooking up with some other girl.  Well, we are going to get into all that, but for now, just know that sometimes boyfriends will wander off either because they are lured away or that just have not yet learned that they are risking blowing up the good thing they have going with you.

For the past five months I have been rebuilding attraction. Very successfully, I might add. It’s been taking longer than expected, but the results have been good. We are at the point, or we WERE at the point (more on that in a bit) where we would be free for each other at any given time. We were texting and talking on the phone every single day, and seeing each other at least once a week. I had finally broken past the barrier where I can be as affectionate as I like, including little random pecks on the lips, and cuddling on the couch making out here and there during movies. We had sex for the first time again. It was great, and she responded well.

So my ex boyfriend and I were together for a year and 4 months. Honestly he was obsessed and so was I but i became too comfortable. He was my world and I never thought he would leave me. He would always chase after me and showering me with love and it made me the happiest person alive. One day he got tired of fighting with me and he dumped. told me he didnt want me anymore. I looked like a fool, i begged i cried i ran after him but he just walked away with his head up. it was so painfully. he blocked me on everything so i dont have contact but if i text him he will usually unblock to read my messages. it hurts so bad and as messed up as it is i still want him. I want him back so badly it kills.
You should perhaps consider the fact that when chasing other women for the first time, we tend to put in a lot more effort than in a relationship that has been ongoing for 20 years. You should think about why she lost the spark for you and whether its something you've stopped doing or efforts you've stopped showing towards her after being together for so long.

I’m just so confused because there was absolutely no sign that anything had changed. If anything i thought we seemed happier than ever. He text me a few times after the relationship ended 3 weeks ago but since our last conversation there has been zero contact for about 13 days now. And i don’t know how to deal with what’s happened so suddenly or to even try make sense of it. How can we have such a huge history and such a loving relationship then him just seem so cold and be able to cut me off so easy? No body that knows him or us as a couple can believe it. Any advice or thoughts would be hugely appreciated and how should i go about trying to reconcile with him. Thank you xxx


Wow I can’t believe how much I have written. I just checked and this is getting close to 10,000 words. Ok, we are very close to the end here. This section is all about taking a big risk. More specifically, setting up a date with your ex boyfriend for the first time since your break up. All the experts have a different view of how this should be done. The truth of the matter is that if you played pretty close to the game plan I laid out for you, your ex boyfriend will probably have suggested to meet up IN PERSON by now. However, if he didn’t don’t worry, I have a plan for you!

Dear Lauren, My ex broke up with me about 3 weeks ago and I just started no contact about a week ago. We were dating over 3 years. I have a college class with her and ironically sit next to her. How do I continue no contact when I see her everyday? The night before she decided to move out she told me she wanted us. The next night she went out after work and told me we were done, and she never came home. We had been living together for over a year now and finally moved into our own place. I'm pretty sure she slept with a guy she had been casually seeing from work the night before she never came home. I know she slept with him and I know we are over but I was her only sexual partner ever. How do I get her to see the good times we had and miss me? I really want her back and think we can be stronger than ever. ...

My bf of five months is going thru a divorce. He broke up with me saying he could fall in love with me so easily but can't let himself and needs time to heal from his marriage. It is an increasingly messy divorce. He messaged the next day saying he has set up counselling and will sort everything out and then again to say he loved every minute with me and is sorry he's not himself right now. I told him to take the time he needs to heal and have been responding to his texts but am finding this all very had and confusing....

3. One last thing before asking him out: Figure out whether he's single. If he doesn't list his relationship status online, check out his Facebook photos to see whether the same girl reappears in various cozy poses with him. Or you can subtly feel him out by asking, in a Facebook message or e-mail, about old friends you both had, and then segue into a conversation about his personal life in general. Hopefully his love sitch will come up.


Yes, I felt free in a way but totally sad ’cause I did wanna hang or talk or something, but he’s been a jerk for ignoring so long. I need to respect myself, but I want him back too. I haven’t blocked him from WhatsApp or Facebook, don’t plan to really, and I haven’t talked to him, but I really miss him. Should I just stand my ground and not reach out to him? I feel like this is the right thing to do and perhaps try to move on, but I love him. Thank you so much for your help and time, it means the world to me, well, to all of us.

I was beside myself with shock. I was just dumped by my girlfriend, even though I thought things were going great. My initial instinct was to start promising change and control the situation. Although I hadn’t gone overboard by begging or texting repeatedly, I was really struggling and didn’t know what to do to get her back. I scoured the internet and after reading countless articles and websites, I came across Lee’s site and read a few articles. His advice and take on the getting your GF back seemed to make a lot of sense and I felt like I needed some objective help so that I don’t blow any chance that I may get. I’m so glad I booked that call with Lee! After a few sessions and by following Lee’s plan, she finally contacted me and wanted to meet. Lee’s advice on how to handle both NC, as well as how to interact with her in those first few meet ups was invaluable! I am happy to say we are back together and it’s never been better. The things I learned about female attraction from Lee I will continue to use in relationships to keep the spark alive and attraction high. The hard part was to trust the process, but Lee’s clear and genuine demeanor made it easier to do what I know needed to be done to get her back. I would highly recommend Lee’s services if you would like to get your ex back or simply improve the dynamic in your current relationship! -Marc

I was in 2 years long relationship with my ex, including one year of long distance. He broke up with me 3 months ago saying he is not ready for commitment and settle in one year because it was supposed to be one year longer the long distance relationship. We had some fights lately, due to lack of contact it was hard to catch him, I wasnt my best too I was picking on him sometimes when it was no needed. I tried to win him back but he didnt want to. We dont speak for over a month now and soon will be my birthday. I find out on social media that he is licking some girls face and that they are cooking together. What should I do? Can I still win him back? I know what mistakes I made and I was in process of chagning myself but I dont know if should I reach to him? What was the actual reason, he said he is not ready but he is clearly making connection with this girl.
Girls want to see self-improvement from guys. Maybe your girlfriend complained about something you did while you two were in your relationship. Maybe there's something that you know you can improve simply because it will make you a better person. Well, now's the time to strike. Cut your video game playing down to a reasonable time, if that's what she wants, or start wearing cleaner clothes when you're around her. If you focus on being a better person while apart, you can go back to her with the "evidence" that you're a new guy.

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back And Keep Him


Even if you want to win her back, you're going to have to accept and process the breakup either way because it's unlikely that you'll win her back simply by being the same person as you were. The panicking and desperate behaviors also would have made her feel more strongly about the breakup, and you're going to need to give both parties space right now. Go into no contact and process your emotions, follow the guidelines in our articles, before reaching out to her again.

There are also millions of women abusers and millions men victims that suffer in silence. So this post was great until the discriminative last sentence about million of abused women. Many man just dont speak about terrible repeated abuses, because man must be strong , man has to stand up...man men resist, hold on and bear abuses while women are very prone to scream and ask help at first one.

How To Get Your Ex Back When She Just Wants To Be Friends


So if you have worked hard to bring your ex boyfriend back into the picture and progress is being made on multiple communication fronts, then take an opportunity and drop him a little not.  Nothing over the top.  Nothing about making a relationship commitment. You don’t want to spook your ex bf. We will talk about that in another post.  Just something that cements you enjoyed yourself.  Keep it light!
It is natural to feel scared about going up to someone who has rejected you. You may be worried that he won't talk to you, won't be friendly and perhaps won't answer any questions you may have. All of this is natural and normal. If you really want to approach him to ask him something, consider going with a friend you can rely on and perhaps having them doing some of the talking on your behalf. Choose somewhere neutral and calm, and have a good excuse to leave quickly if things seem too awkward for you, such as "Thanks for the quick chat, I have to get to an appointment now". Most of all, realize that if you don't get the answers or discussion you'd hoped for, that it's not a reflection on you, as you've shown much courage, but is about your ex-boyfriend's method of dealing with the situation in his own way and isn't a slur on you.
Johnny is the best dating coach in the world, I have been with many mentors and he by far is the best!I struggled to talk to people in the street, Johnny demonstrated and I followed.The result was outstanding!since then I am with the girl of my dreams a 10!!!And we are spending the year travelling to South East Asia.I would have never been able to attract such a girl without Johnny helping me.The investment is soooo worth it!
Hi, I need some major help. I am 46 and found the woman of my dreams. Our relationship was great, but all of the sudden out of the blue she said that "she loves me, but is not in love with me". I knew this was not the case by her actions, she was very loving, intimate, and by how she looked at me. that was on a Tuesday. I kept in contact with her for a couple days and found out that she was not in the same place I was in the relationship. She said that she felt nervous and rushed into the relationship and was not ready to take it to the next step. On Thursday, she broke it off with me and said she needed time to to think. Well, I was stupid and kept sending her messages and trying to talk to her because it was just such a shock to me, I was having a very hard time understanding. On Saturday, she blocked all my accounts and said she would contact me "If and when she was ready". I have NO CLUE what to do now. Obviously there will not be any other contact unless she initiates it. I know I have to do the no contact now, but is it too late? Is there anything I can do to fix this? She gave me a whole 48 hours after the breakup to calm down and understand and give her the space she needs. PLEASE HELP!!
Hi me and my boyfriend of 9 months just broke up. It was an out of the blue break up that left me confused and shocked. Everything seemed good to me we had only gotten into one disagreement the whole time we were together. But our relationship was hard. He worked the graveyard shift so we only got to see each other on the weekend. During the week our schedules were opposite. When I worked he slept and vis versa. So we would try to communicate as much as we could right before the other one would go to work. He met my family enjoyed time with. Literally was hanging out with them the weekend before and out of the blue one night he told me we should break up. That he felt like he couldn’t be the boyfriend I needed and that he felt we hit a Plateau. That he felt that he should be feeling a certain way by now but wasn’t. I.e. his longest relationship was 8 months before me and he’s 36. I miss him and want him back I don’t understand why this happened out of no where.

National Get Your Ex Back Day


I need advice. We met on match.com and only dated about 3 weeks but had a great connection from the very beginning. Plus we share a lot in common (we agree about a lot, graduated high school same year, kids are same age). But he broke it off because 1) we moved too fast (didn’t have sex but went further than we intended by date 2) and 2) we’re in different places in our lives – I’m going through a divorce and he’s been divorced for years. I’m devastated. We ended things amicably last week (I didn’t fight it, though I wanted to) and we haven’t been in contact. But he’s been back on match.com already. My question is, what are our chances for trying again in the future? Did moving too fast derail us completely?
Hi Lauren, this couldn't have come at a more perfect time for me. My boyfriend of 7 years, broke up with me a week ago. I have read most of the Mars Venus books and am currently reading Mars and Venus: Starting Over. I'm not ready to give up on the relationship, he is my everything. He claims, he's afraid of commitment and that I can't make him happy for the rest of his life, but also claimed I'm perfect and don't need to change at all. Gave me the "it's not you, it's me" thing. I still have hope that if I give him his space he will change his mind and I'm not to the point where I can think about him not changing his mind, that is too hard. I have broken down and texted him a few times and told him how I was feeling. I stopped talking to him over the weekend and on day 4, I woke up to a text from him. It wasn't anything about us, just a video of a silly dog. I guess I'm just trying to figure out if he still cares? Is it just the friendship he misses? He claims I'm still his best friend. I can't be friends with him, I'm still in love with him. I know every situation is different and you ultimately can't tell he what he is thinking, but I guess do you think if I give him his space, he might come back? ...
Hi, so like so many others my boyfriend just broke up with me 3 days ago. My mind is definetly in the overreacting stage. We’d been going out for 8 months and honestly it was fantastic, I’ve never felt like somebody loved me as much as he did. I would wake up to “good morning, just a quick reminder that I love you” texts every now and then, and we never really left the honeymoon phase. So 4 weeks ago I went on holiday and he called me saying he missed me and when I got back he seemed very genuine in the missing me and loving me. Last time I saw him 2 weeks ago everything was as normal, very loving to each other, but just kinda curled up on the couch because I had some period pain. I apologised for not really doing anything with him that day and he said “I just feel weightless holding you and being with you, don’t worry.” The next week he began phasing me out over text (usually we would message everyday) until a week ago he shut me out completely saying he had family and work issues. I finally break his silence and he comes over and breaks up with me. He told me that it had been on his mind constantly for the past 2 weeks and everyone said noticed the anxiety change in him. He said he couldn’t sleep because he didn’t know what to do. When I asked why he said it was just all in his head and he couldn’t get it out. He said that it was him and not me and thanked me for being the best girlfriend he’s ever had... all the time he seemed emotionless and hugged me loosely. I was/am devestated, from my point of view nothing happened or changed and he was extremely out of character. Even his friends and family messaged me after saying how shocked they were and asking how I was. Of course I want him to come back and say it was a mistake but I don’t know if he will. I havnt contacted him since but his best friend wants to meet me for coffee next week... so do I meet her and break the no contact rule? Also is there a point? I don’t want to try for something that clearly won’t happen. I just need some outsider advice :(
You'll have to understand that being good friends have nothing to do with the relationship once you get involved with each other and promises to remain good friends should the relationship fail simply holds no value anymore. As for the reason why he broke up with you, it often is due to taking the other party for granted, and growing intolerant to that person over time. This results in one party feeling tired of being in the relationship and simply pushing blame and thinking whatever the other person does is wrong.

Forgot to add, we plan to see each other before the year ends. So around November, Part of me is like ok, dont talk until End of September and ease back in Oct/Nov until you guys see each other again. What this article said about friends and family is so true! I have nothing negative to say about my bf. They feel just because he broke up with me that he is supposed to me the enemy. "Forget him!" "Men are stupid" "Thats his loss, he couldnt man up!" "You deserve better" I hold no hate, only hurt & I accept my part in our demise. It literally made everything worse because i do not feel that way.
Me and my ex were best friends for 3 years secretly in love. We never confessed. She started dating someone 8 months ago and i couldnt take it so i told her. She confessed that she had been in love with me too. We were together for 6 months until she told me she had lost feelings for me. And that it was because i had changed and talked about other girls more and cared less about her( told this to her friends) she now says she likes someone shes talking to. And that shed never wanna be with me again.
I meant a friend who directed me to Dr. Ikhine on the internet who help people to solve their problem and then i wrote to him and he said i should not worry about anything, that i should give him 48 hours for him to cast a spell for me and after that 48 hours my ex boyfriend called me on my office line and started begging. That is how my ex boy friend came back to me contact [email protected] com or WhatsApp +2347039543760 his help is guaranteed.

Proven Ways To Get Ex Boyfriend Back


The plenty of fish in the sea line isn’t quite as simple as some people make it out to be. The truth is that it’s a lot easier to figure out how to win someone back than to find someone with whom to build a long lasting sustainable relationship with! You already know your partner and share memories and a history together. There’s already something to build off of in a sense.
Then we were completely out of each other’s lives. I stopped thinking about her entirely—save for those random moments I’d spot short brunettes reading on library stairs. I spent the next four years dating other people, with some hits and many misses. One woman stole a couple hundred dollars out of my checking account and got engaged to another guy while we were living together.

The best way to optimize your chances of getting your ex bf back is to become Ungettable Girl.  You want to increase your value in his eyes and also make it difficult for him to reach you, talk to you, and see you.  This is just a small part of becoming the Ungettable Girl.  It’s also about making yourself beautiful in his eyes from afar.  He can see you, but now it is at a distance (through Snap chat, Facebook, etc).   Slowly over time, your ex boyfriend will crave you and you will do things to ensure that he feels that craving every day by using little jealousy ploys and rumors and chance encounters.  Your ex boyfriend loves nothing more than a good chase – so give him one.

Get Ex Back Book


Now you need to see him and test his reaction when you contact him. A good way of contacting him without embarrassing both of you is to text him. You can invite him for a chat over coffee or something else that both of you enjoy. Your text to him should be casual. You need to be friendly, cheerful and respectful. A text will help you gauge his feelings towards you. If there is still a little strand of hope or you think there is still something between you, it is easier to contact him. You need to find out if he is over your breakup or he still needs some time away from you.
Peter discovered that if he wanted to talk with his wife, he would get the best results if he asked from a stance of self-respect. He tried asking if she would meet him for coffee. She replied, "Sure!" In fact, the groveling and self-deprecation that Peter had learned as a child were the opposite of what his wife wanted. The more confidently he addressed her, the more positively she responded.

We’ve come full circle; at this point I can also tell you that if you’ve done everything possible to get back with your ex, if you’ve followed our advice diligently, if you’ve worked with a relationship expert and the one you love still isn’t willing to make any compromises or sacrifices to also accommodate you and to make things work; then perhaps you should consider moving on and research how to get over a breakup because he or she probably wasn’t right for you.

Top Ways To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back


"Help! How can I get back my ex!" is the distressed plea of many of my clients when they contact me to launch therapy. After years of gradual relationship deterioration, failing communication in a relationship, and off-putting interactions, at least in the eyes of their partner, some final-straw development suddenly propelled their partner to insist that they separate.
This applies to your past relationship during arguments or conflicts that you may have gotten into, to the actual breakup, but also moving forward while trying to win back their heart. In order to really understand what your ex felt or feels and to come up with the right approach to connect and touch their heart you will need consider the 360 degree approach
Hello my name is Jennifer.? I feel like I just keep getting knocked back in all areas of my life. I’m a single mom and I have been single for 2 years now. I knew being single was what I needed to try and build myself up. The truth is I can’t ever think of a time in my life where my life felt genuinely good and I was trying to work on that. Trying to build my confidence, strength and life and I thought it was working. I recently found out my ex, whom I did still stay friends with has met someone else and for some reason it crushed me. The truth is I knew this would happen eventually and I don’t think I want him back. I’m upset, angry and jealous that it happened for him first. I feel like ” what’s wrong with me why doesn’t someone want me”. I know in some way I’ve done this to myself. Being a doormat, being too generous. I thought by making others happy it would make me happy too. But it doesn’t and I don’t know how to find happiness for myself. I don’t have family to speak to or ask advice and only a couple of friends. I don’t like unloading on them and they wouldn’t be able to offer any good advice. Because they have been just as hurt and scared by past relationships as me that they don’t know anymore than I. I feel like I need some help and advice to put me on the right path to get out of this vicious cycle. That I don’t know how to get out from. I have no one to turn to and I’m so lost, confused and lonely. Please help me, I’m so tired of living this way.
I did the NC rule according to your plan for 30 days after I moved out. I contacted him via messenger, I just kept it causal, asking him how he was and how work was. He also came over with some stuff to my new apartment, stuff that I had forgot when I moved out. The meeting went well, although he had a mutual friend with him, which I thought was strange since it was the first time we met since we broke up. Anyway, he contacted me just about 20 mins after he left, saying how nice my new apartment was, some improvements I could do and so on.

Hi Tanisha….it is unclear just how invested he is in the relationship. Perhaps one way to find out is to utilize No Contact. You should take a look at a book I wrote called, Ex Recovery Pro. In it I offer a blueprint on all the things you should consider and do. You can learn more about it in my website’s Menu Section under “Products”. It may help you with the path you should take.


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Hi, Me and my ex were together for 3 years and we went out drinking and I cheated on my girlfriend while she was in the room, we didn't have sex but we did do other stuff. I regret it massively and was hoping to ask her to marry me sometime this year. Its been over a week and I have done some of the mistakes of texting her and being needy. I received an email off her explaining to me how I hurt her and in a way shes glad it happened so she no longer has to waste time with me. She has told me on a few occasions she never wants to see me again or for me to contact her. I have recently done the NC rule. Does it look like this is a lost cause or will the NC rule work? How long should my NC rule be bearing in mind she told me she wants no contact from me. I am willing to wait as long as it takes to get her back.
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Followed all the no contact advice and the texting advice. With the help of some friends things have been going extremely well over the past week, lots of heart to heart conversations about what went wrong and how we could've done it better/differently. Things were also moving very quickly. Too quickly. We hung out every day this past week, had friends meeting eachother, and were kissing at the end of our talks.
However, before we hit the ground running I feel it is important to mention a few things. The game plan outlined above is not set in stone. Every single relationship is unique and may require unique steps that I haven’t outlined. Knowing what to do can sometimes depend on your gut. So, if your gut is telling you that a particular tactic I have outlined won’t work for you I would definitely trust it. The main takeaway here is that you are going to have to get creative and sometimes even skip entire skips depending on how fast you are moving.
We don’t like to call each other “ex”, so my friend and I were together, but we broke up a year ago due to a stressful issue. We have remained friends, and still wished to be together. But now, he is starting to date someone else who is more similar to him. I did some stupid things, and it felt like I got this big slap in the face- he was always right. He always was telling me things that were disconnecting us that were things I needed to work on. He admitted to me that he was scared of being with me, let alone staying friends. I’ve told him that I felt this slap and everything and that I’m going to change because I’ve been making myself unhappy. But I’m also very determined to reestablish our relationship as a couple and not just friends. I’m scared of what will happen, but I know I have to move forward and be better for myself. I realized I’ve been letting my emotions control me and that it has been destroying myself and my relationships with other people. He is someone I see frequently (fyi, not a co-worker) and we text a lot still. I’m still afraid. He loved me once, he even got me a promise ring of sorts… If he sees me changing for the better, will I still have a chance? The fear comes with the fact that there is another woman who could steal his heart. Yet the funny thing is, she loves and adores me beyond anything. I am not sure if she is romantically interested in him, but I definitely wouldn’t call it unlikely. She also knows my history with him. It’s tough, but I want to become the woman he always thought I could be, which is someone amazing. I don’t really know what I’m asking now, I think I just need some support and to know that I’m doing the right thing, and that I’ll be okay… I can’t just forget about how much I want him back by my side.
So when I hear someone tell me “I want my ex back because they are the most amazing person in the world and quite possibly my soul mate” I always remind those people that they are pretty amazing too! If your ex fell for you, if you were able to inspire and seduce them the first time around, it means that you have tons of qualities to offer as well.
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