So me and my ex were in a long distance relationship for 2 years. I was in my career and he was just finishing up school. We met in another state and have always been long distance. So when he graduated, im thinking that we would finally get to be together. Wrong, he broke up with me. His words were im not leaving you, im leaving the relationship. I still love you and still feel the same, I think that we need to just be friends" So basically needing time to get himself together, which I can respect. At first, I was pleading, then I told him I couldnt be friends. Then, I said yea im ok with being friends because there was so much going on in both of our lives that I feel like I wanted to still be apart of. So for about 5 days after that our only contact was words with friends (Scrabble). The game has ended and now we are officially in the no contact part. He still has our pics up on his page and last time we talked 2 weeks ago, we both said "I love you" before we got off the phone. I really believe we were the two right people at the wrong time. Its almost been a month and each week gets easier. He was my first love and my best friend. This article was nice, my only confusion is you said Id reach out to him after the no contact rule, but most advice Ive gotten is "He broke up with you, You should wait until he hits you up". Im new to all this heart break stuff. He was my first and Im still at the point where I want him to be my only one. Thank you!
Breakups hurt like crazy. And your mind is just clouded with the grief. It seems that your thoughts are just controlled by your emotions. So if you miss your ex, you might think that they were the perfect person for you. But in reality, it might not be so. In fact, I can almost guarantee that it wasn’t so. Your ex, just like every other person on earth had flaws. And your relationship, even though it might be hard to believe right now, was not great. How can I tell? Well, if it was great, you wouldn’t have broken up.
6 months on, he started cheating on me and i found out. he decided to dump me for the new guy. this guy also lived in a different city about 2 hours away, he seems to like to get attached to guys from outside of his city. initially i tried to salvage the relationship but i later decided to move on and we had no contact for about 4-5 months until it was his birthday and i wished him happy bday. 2-3 months after his birthday he broke up with that guy. through a mutual friend, he contacted me and we started contacting each other again.
You’d be shocked at how quickly a guy gets his act together when there’s a woman he wants that he thinks he’ll lose if he doesn’t get his sh*t together. A lot of women don’t see this, though, because instead of staying single until they’re clearly, totally and unambiguously in a full-on defined relationship with a guy, they accept his excuses and wait around thinking that somehow he’ll just all of a sudden want a relationship with them (even though he knows the woman isn’t going to leave him)

Should I Kiss My Ex Boyfriend To Get Him Back


You split for a reason…even if it's hazy now. But you and your ex-ex need to face what went wrong the first time if you're going to move forward, says couples therapist Robert Buchicchio, author of Taking Space, and then let it go, once and for all. Try hashing out the bigger points of what you want to do differently this time in a way that isn't threatening, like "It would make me happy if…" and have him do the same.
Hi me and my boyfriend of 9 months just broke up. It was an out of the blue break up that left me confused and shocked. Everything seemed good to me we had only gotten into one disagreement the whole time we were together. But our relationship was hard. He worked the graveyard shift so we only got to see each other on the weekend. During the week our schedules were opposite. When I worked he slept and vis versa. So we would try to communicate as much as we could right before the other one would go to work. He met my family enjoyed time with. Literally was hanging out with them the weekend before and out of the blue one night he told me we should break up. That he felt like he couldn’t be the boyfriend I needed and that he felt we hit a Plateau. That he felt that he should be feeling a certain way by now but wasn’t. I.e. his longest relationship was 8 months before me and he’s 36. I miss him and want him back I don’t understand why this happened out of no where.

National Get Your Ex Back Day


Peter also switched from "awfulizing" about his work situation from a stance of helpless victim to taking a problem-solving stance. What could he do to find a more positive work situation? He began networking with others in his field, stumbled on a job that sounded far more suitable, applied, and at this point is looking likely to get the position.  
The relationship is going really well in the beginning. You are seeing each other often and enjoy one another. You begin to prioritize him over other things going on in your life, like hobbies or nights out with friends. You tell yourself you are comfortable and don’t need to be “out there.” Everything is just the way you like it until… for some reason, you feel him pulling away.
It's been a year and a half. He sent me a linked in request. We didn't fight. He was perfect web we were together but life has thrown me since rough punches and I felt like I wasn't on equal ground with him. He has money and prestige. I had lost everything taking care of my husband's yet terminal illness and I was sick myself. I felt I had nothing to offer. Now I have a great career and new car and my home is being remodeled and my last child is in college ave I have my health back. I broke his heart. He just wanted to help me and I felt like charity. I would really like to try again.
Right now, give him the space he has requested for and spend this time doing what his friend had advised (working on yourself and making changes to your life). You can't control the timing on when he reaches out to you, but the least you could do is show him that you're sincere about making it up to him and have made efforts in taking the first step forward. He may not forgive you entirely, but at least he knows you're sincere about fixing things and may decide to give things another shot.
This is 100% correct. Applying It is much harder obviously. My girlfriend of 7 years (I was first guy she slept with) left me. I did absolutely everything wrong. Everything this tells you to do. I did the opposite. 6 months of begging and crying. I eventually gave up. Gave her two months of peace. Start seeing someone else. Got my shit together. Became attractive to her again. Blah Blah. We've been married for 10 years now and have two kids.

How To Get Back Your Ex Boyfriend In Long Distance Relationship


So I’ve been with this guy for nearly 3 year we lived together for a year and Half I have children to a previous relationship he hasn’t got none we’ve had it pretty rough last year we fell pregnant and Sadley lost our baby and had to deal with a funeral and things so emotions have been all over for both of us since then we’ve argued a lot fell out a lot he’s even moved out a lot but we always end up back together over the lay few months things have got rapidly worse his mood swings ect he has finally admitted he needs help after trying to kill himself he’s severely depressed on medication and starting to get the help he needs all though I’m the only person who seems to have supported him he keeps pushing me away we’ve just found out I’m pregnant again so it’s a worryin time at moment but he’s got up and left me again saying he can’t do it anymore that this time it’s over for good I no he loves me and I no he wants nothing more than for us to have this baby he’s said he will be there day or night for baby but as for us it’s done with my emotions are all over and don’t no what to do he has said this in past when he’s left so I’m unsure of if it really what he wants or weather it’s the depression any advise would be much appreciated as I’m at my wits end
Unfortunately Thomas, you don't seem like you're in the right place emotionally and mentally yet to be trying to win her back at this point. She still has a foothold over your emotions right now and until you're able to free yourself from it, you'll never win her back the right way. As much as it may suck to see her with someone else right now, it's something you have to accept and understand that there isn't much you can do about it, until you are able to free your emotions up and not let what she does affect you. Otherwise, you'll end up getting frustrated at times and behaving either out of jealousy or insecurities which pushes her further away and causes her to lose respect for you as a man, and potentially even seek out other guys in the process.

Español: recuperar a tu ex novio, Português: Reconquistar o seu Ex Namorado, Français: récupérer son ex petit‐ami, Italiano: Riconquistare un Ex, Deutsch: Den Exfreund zurückbekommen, Русский: вернуть бывшего парня, 中文: 让你的前男友回来, Čeština: Jak získat zpět svého bývalého přítele, Bahasa Indonesia: Mendapatkan Kembali Mantan Pacar Anda, Nederlands: Je ex vriendje weer terugkrijgen, العربية: استعادة حبيبك السابق, हिन्दी: अपने एक्स बॉयफ़्रेंड को वापस पाएँ, ไทย: กลับไปคืนดีกับแฟนหนุ่มคนเก่าของคุณ, Tiếng Việt: Khiến bạn trai cũ quay lại với bạn, 한국어: 헤어진 남자친구, 다시 잡는 법
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A lot of people in your position go completely off of the deep end when faced with an unwanted breakup. They turn into stalkers, obsessively checking their ex-boyfriend’s Facebook profile, showing up at his home or office, sending dozens (if not hundreds) of text messages, compulsively calling him whenever it strikes their fancy. The list is endless, and all of these behaviors need to be avoided at all costs – no matter how tempted you are to conform. These negative behavior patterns are unhealthy for him – and for you – and they’re going to make the road to reconciliation even more challenging, if not impossible.


Hi - I've been dating a wonderful woman for over 12 years. For the most part, everything was fine but I took her for granted. I was regularly late, my house was a mess and I wasn't always at my best. Never was physically or mentally abusive. I have two kids, not hers, who she loves and I know they love her. My daughters are now 25 and 18 so they've been part of her life for most of their lives. It's been a long month without her and I'd love to know what I can do to fix things with her. I've tried to give her the 30 days away deal and have tried to stay away from her to give her some time.
Just stop, and imagine the very man who just before didn’t want to be with you and even told you that he doesn’t want you in his life, turn into a romantic Casanova who won’t leave you alone and literally yearns to be with you. What if you were able to make his heart pound in his chest and feel a special kind of desire for you each time he thinks about you? What would you give to be able to have this effect on your ex boyfriend the next time the two of you meet?

Get Ex Back Via Text


My ex ended this 1st April (nearly a month ago). I begged. After day 1 he wanted to talk. After a week he never wanted to see me again. I did NC for 4 days until my sister told him to message me (I got sexually assaulted and needed emotional support). He messaged me. He seemed off. We spoke every day. Well I went one day (a couple of times) not replying. I found out I was pregnant. I told him. He was good about it. He told me to get rid of it. I got scared. Basically I messaged him saying I can’t. We argued about me needing him and he said he doesn’t know what to do. Yesterday I said I’m bored of feeling hated. I need my friend back. He said he doesn’t hate me. I went on about feeling hated and being scared of the abortion. I asked if he could see me. He YELLED at me. I ignored him (which is what he wanted me to do all month he even said I went crazy) but 10 minutes later he messaged me back calmer and with this solution: He said I could see him (in Germany) if I get the abortion and it’ll be the last time we ever see each other and we can have a proper goodbye. I went on saying I want to see him before. It ended up him saying he did hate me. I killed the guy I dated (because I said I missed what he used to be like). I messaged him yesterday and he said I can go and see him after the abortion. I asked if he still had access to my Facebook account he said no. I said I hope he is well. Also he told someone that he couldn’t stand me earlier today. Should I initiate NC properly now? Is there any hope? Why would he start off saying he didn’t hate me and now does? Why would he double message after I ignored him when he yelled? I’m so confused please help me.

I was so glad to read an article by you again, instead of the other guys whom you often attach links to, because in my perspective, your wisdom regarding helping women understand beats anyone else’s that I’ve encountered. This article was a great example and I believe 100% that not only are you right in this regard, but that you shared what is probably the very most important of all of the aspects of what men find and don’t find attractive in a woman. You summarized it all very well in this one article that I found to be quite valuable. Thanks so much and please let us hear from you directly more often! :-)

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How To Know If Your Ex Wants To Get Back Together


Then we were completely out of each other’s lives. I stopped thinking about her entirely—save for those random moments I’d spot short brunettes reading on library stairs. I spent the next four years dating other people, with some hits and many misses. One woman stole a couple hundred dollars out of my checking account and got engaged to another guy while we were living together.
It is natural to feel scared about going up to someone who has rejected you. You may be worried that he won't talk to you, won't be friendly and perhaps won't answer any questions you may have. All of this is natural and normal. If you really want to approach him to ask him something, consider going with a friend you can rely on and perhaps having them doing some of the talking on your behalf. Choose somewhere neutral and calm, and have a good excuse to leave quickly if things seem too awkward for you, such as "Thanks for the quick chat, I have to get to an appointment now". Most of all, realize that if you don't get the answers or discussion you'd hoped for, that it's not a reflection on you, as you've shown much courage, but is about your ex-boyfriend's method of dealing with the situation in his own way and isn't a slur on you.
I recently dated someone who seemed to love and accept me more than anyone ever had before. He was unbelievably caring and always looked after me. He was almost over the top in his affection and seemed to wanna get serious very fast. He continued being very affectionate for the entire relationship but I noticed in the last few weeks he was making less and less time for me and started having occasional cranky moments where he seemed judgemental or said he felt pushed into things.
But going through difficulties is what gets us in touch with who we are and what we’re made of. This sort of growth and self-discovery is invaluable. Breaking through that feeling of “I won’t be able to survive without him” and then discovering that you can will make you realize how strong you are, and as a result, will help build your self-esteem and give you that amazing “I can get through anything” feeling.
3. One last thing before asking him out: Figure out whether he's single. If he doesn't list his relationship status online, check out his Facebook photos to see whether the same girl reappears in various cozy poses with him. Or you can subtly feel him out by asking, in a Facebook message or e-mail, about old friends you both had, and then segue into a conversation about his personal life in general. Hopefully his love sitch will come up.

I’m not sure what to do at this point. I didn’t reply. I havent since. It has been a day. Is there coming back from this? Is the “its ok” a good or bad thing? Could she be so done that this is now meaningless and doesn’t really matter to her? Or is this a positive “its ok”? What should i do now? Should i try to crawl back in? Should i wait a week? Or is it done? Rn i feel I should wait a few days.. but I don’t know.
The only way to have a good relationship is if you demand a good relationship from him. If you don’t and give him everything he wants in an attempt to get him back, you’re sabotaging the relationship and destroying your chances with him. Not to mention, completely undervaluing yourself, which will deeply impact your self-esteem. Now I don’t mean you say, “Give me a good relationship or else!” It’s not an actual demand. You “demand” it by being a woman of value, by being a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to walk away if she’s not getting it. You don’t have to say anything at all, it just comes across.

I’m sure that you’ve heard the saying the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence quite a few times before. It is very very relevant to love and relationships as well. After being with someone for a long time it is easy to be tempted by something new or to get bored! Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you can easily find someone better!
Start fresh. Don't think of this as Part Two of your relationship saga -- think of it as two people starting completely over while being better equipped to deal with any challenges that come their way. Though you can't completely forget the past, there's no need to dwell on it or rehash it. Of course, if any fond memory of the past comes up, you should talk about it, but think of everything as starting anew.
I really love your blogs, they make a lot of sense, and I need your help with something. I’m 39 years old and I’m engaged to a woman I adore. Here’s my problem, she nags me all the time. I want to be there for her but it feels like she’s always demanding so much time and energy. I know you’re supposed to “compromise” in a relationship but it seems like I’m making all the sacrifices and I’m starting to feel like this relations...

Many women have quite simple and somewhat boring lives, so she might struggle to relate to you with your travel-filled lifestyle, amazing car or massive house that you told her about (for example). And if she struggles to relate to you because she sees you as WAY better than her, she will go cold and initiate the no contact rule on you. “He’s out of my league.” Then she initiates a breakup.


a lack of respect on either side. If you or your ex call each other names, belittle each other's accomplishments, or say disparaging things about one another to your family or friends, then there is no respect in that relationship. These are all features of an emotionally abusive relationship.[20] Find someone who shows you the respect you deserve, and commit to treating him or her with respect as well.

I’m not sure if you can help me or not. So me and my ex were friends for nearly 2 years before we got together and after a discussion we decided that it would be a good idea to try dating each other (both of us had been wanting to date the other for at least 8months but hadn’t told eachother due to the friendship). Everything was going great and we made a promise that if things didn’t go to plan we’d stay friends because our friendship was important to both of us. We made it to just over 2 months and then broke up. It was a pretty easy break up, nothing too traumatic but the way he acted could perhaps been seen as a bit out of hand by some people. Though out the relationship everything was great, he treated well and with respect and he wasn’t pushy for sex. I also was respectful to him and treated him really well throughout. Everyone including myself always thought that we would last forever but I guess good things come to an end at some point. My boyfriend is 18 and I’m 16 so I guess that makes things more difficult. Anyway, we were great with eachother even up to the day of the breakup and then I found out that he had messaged his mate a week before saying he was “getting bored” of being in a realtionship with me and his mate told him to keep going on seeing how things went. Having found this out pretty late at night, I asked him as soon as I could the next morning. When I did, he agreed with what I had found out and we broke up. He told me that I had done nothing wrong and that he wanted to remain best friends as we previously were. He explained that due to me being his first girlfriend, he didn’t know what to expect in a relationship and due to this, he didn’t wanna be in a realtionship with anyone. He messaged me the next morning saying that he was sorry and felt like he had let me down. I didn’t reply. I decided to start no contact and have been doing so for the last 15 days. Before we broke up, it was planned that we would come to my school prom with me but now due to the break up and no contact this is no longer a plan that we have. I have been recently debating about whether or no I should ask him to come because even though we have broken up, I still love and feel bad because he shouldn’t have to miss out because of the breakup as he didn’t have a prom of his own and was really Looking forward to going to mine. He also organised a suit and we talked of how we were matching te dress and tie etc. I know that even if I keep up the 30 or 60 day no contact, I am still going to feel the exact same way about him as I always have and so I’m thinking of ending the no contact and asking him to prom with me, even if it just be as friends. I need to decide pretty quickly as I only have 2 days left to purchase the ticket but I’m scared that he will say no and I’ll end up hurt and I don’t know if it’s a bad idea to end no contact. I thinking that perhaps if I do ask him to prom and he says yes. I continue the no contact until the date of the prom? Do you think I should end no contact and ask him to prom with me?
Hi, we work at same place and she sit just front of me so we see each other 100 times a day. Not able to apply no contact rule properly. Two months in no contact but not working as both are at same place. But whenever I text her in urgent no reply from her. In a month we will not be together, so should I wait to be apart when she will feel it or everything in her seems dead for me. I can’t take her rigid nature of not texting back or receive emergency call. What she want. I am not well and can’t focus on my personal life and career which is not good for me.

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If you're calling, texting, or showing up in places you know he'll be, you are letting him know that you are still into him. In other words, you are letting him know that he can go do what (and who) he wants and you'll still be there. You're hooked, and he can reel you in at will. If you're available all the time, there isn't any sense of urgency to get back with you.
You put your self-worth, your happiness, your dreams and your entire life on the back burner just so you could be with your ex. Sometimes, people do it just to hold on to the possibility of being with their ex in the future. It’s a direct consequence of begging and pleading. It makes your ex think “Well, if you are that desperate to be with me, then you must accept everything that I want.”
A huge obstacle to getting your ex back is fixating on the relationship, pining for what was lost, and wishing things would be different. Not only is it an obstacle to getting the relationship you want, it is an obstacle to your own sense of peace. Think about it. Most suffering arises from wanting the present moment or present situation to be different than what it is. 

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In 2001, after her employment at Webtrends ended, Vinneccy filed for the restraining order against her in Florida, claiming that Swetnick threatened him and his family after he ended their relationship. “She was threatening my family, threatening my wife and threatening to do harm to my baby at that time,” Vinneccy told Politico last week. "I know a lot about her. She’s not credible at all,” he said. “Not at all.”
Some arguing is normal in a relationship. You may go through phases of fighting due to outside factors, which is also normal. The important thing is how you argue, how you deal with arguments after, how you heal together, and the way you communicate. The best way to avoid a fight getting out of control is to walk out of the room and not escalate the situation.
First thing I would suggest is to run no contact if you didn’t already. After that, consider a trip to the Philippines for a holiday. Contact her a few days before, making it very clear that you’re there for a holiday, not to see her specifically, but that you’re open to meeting up if she is. She can’t find out that you’re there just to see her, because that would come across needy. Tell her you’re also visiting another neighbouring country too, so that she can see you’re there to enjoy yourself irrespective of her.
Sometime it happens when cutting off all connection with him is just not possible for example if you both work together or you take same classes or on the vacation trip with your mutual friends. In this situation don’t get angry and never try to avoid him. If you get angry then your ex boyfriend may feel you can’t able to remove him from your heart and you wanted to get him back. On other hand, if you completely avoid him then he may feel you are immature and can’t able to live without him.

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First things first, you are going to become the sexiest version of yourself that the world has ever seen. Let’s say you and I were dating and we had a fight and broke up (I know I am a horrible boyfriend 😉 .) Anyways, after a month of you basically freezing me out (no contact) I happen to bump into you at a Starbucks or somewhere where we both frequented. The first thought I have of our encounter will be based on the choices that you made during the 30 day no contact period. If you sat around feeling sorry for yourself and ate ice cream on the couch all day I will probably think “she looks terrible.” However, if you spent that no contact time working on yourself physically and mentally I am probably going to think “WOW! She is even more beautiful than I remember.”

For the past five months I have been rebuilding attraction. Very successfully, I might add. It’s been taking longer than expected, but the results have been good. We are at the point, or we WERE at the point (more on that in a bit) where we would be free for each other at any given time. We were texting and talking on the phone every single day, and seeing each other at least once a week. I had finally broken past the barrier where I can be as affectionate as I like, including little random pecks on the lips, and cuddling on the couch making out here and there during movies. We had sex for the first time again. It was great, and she responded well.

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Currently in No contact now with my Long Distance Ex Girlfriend of 3 amazing months (was going to fly out next months to see her for 3 months, before we broke up), went through August in a "Pause" (Her idea) was limited contact during August and asked her beginning of September what was going on... she said Nothing was going on! and said she doesn't have time for a relationship, she wouldn't take my calls either! Our Relationship went sour after she snapped at me beginning of August after I woke her up (she has a bad heart and he not sleeping and with her stress at work she ended up in hospital that weekend, she blames me for trying to kill her)... That weekend was just horrendous on her and me... She hasn't been the same again and said then that our relationship wouldn't be the same... her best friends told her to break up with me, she said no because she still loves me... but she kept me on a string for a month before completely breaking up beginning of September.. I've been in No Contact for 13 days now... Started Running again, focusing on my work and planning an overseas trip... She also watches my Instagram stories as well... and out of curiosity I just looked and saw she goes online on Facebook when I post something... so she's definitely watching me... Not sure what that means... I know shes stressing... I'm ending No Contact on the 26th September... might extend passed the 10th October (Her Birthday)... I love her more than anything and she's an incredible woman, we just click... BUT... towards the end of July beginning August things went sideways... I have a feeling (at least I hope) she still loves me... But focusing my energies on other things and working on myself as you awesome guys have said! I want to marry this girl... but I understand things will take time... she has been posting depressing posts on social media as of late though. Any advice would be great.


If you do happen to hear through the grapevine that your ex is seeing someone new, try not to jump to conclusions or let jealousy set in. By no means should you do anything to try to thwart a new relationship. Let your ex have some time to find out if you are really the one; you don't want to force a person to be with you who really wants to be with someone else.
Think about what went wrong. While you distance yourself from your boyfriend, you'll be in a good position to reflect on the problems in the relationship. If you want to get your man back, then you have to figure out what it was that went wrong, so you don't do it all over again. The problem could be simple, or it could take a bit longer to figure out. Here are some of the things that could have gone wrong:
Honestly, it is hard to think of any disadvantages when using text messages. Texting is the communication highway for today’s couples. You and your boyfriend probably texted each other all the time and rarely shared them with anyone. Basically texting is super intimate. You can share cute pictures and do all sorts of really fun things. Not to mention it is impossible to raise your voice over a text message. However, I would say the biggest advantage to text messaging would be the fact that you can take your time and think everything through. This is something that calling on the phone won’t allow you.

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One question. During this time of me really focusing on myself and trying to understand our situation better. Would it be wise the next time we talk face to face to discuss our future relationship (If we decide to be together again) to mention why things went so wrong in the last one and see if we're willing to set boundaries to not make those mistakes again? A little more insight into our relationship issues. So when we first met he still had a girlfriend. It honestly got under my skin all throughout the relationship because we were Long distance and he never really gave me a clear timeline of when they truly broke up and when we started talking. It made me insecure most of the relationship because early on in the relationship he'd go hours without talking to me. I went through his phone and saw he had met up with her claiming to console her because she was depressed/suicidal. Etc. I should have never got with him until I was comfortable, I realize that now. We started on the wrong foot. Then a series of events where he posted another girl on his page (He deleted it after I told him I didnt feel comfortable, he had no pics of me on his page), confused me with the same girl, and went out with friends with the girl. All without properly communicating with me. I had no issue with him having female friends but his communication about his friends was off. So the Trust and communication really needed work. It was so hard because we were in an LDR. He didnt know how to maintain, honestly. Overall he was a wonderful guy, he just wasnt the greatest at communication when we were apart. Together he was perfect. I felt in the loop. He started to make changes toward the middle/end of the last year of the relationship. So I know he's capable. I dont want to keep bringing up the past but I want to make sure this go around the boundaries are clearer. He broke up with me but I knew the end was near. We both had a lot to work on.
Hi, my ex broke up with me a while ago. We went full no contact for about 8 weeks and then he finally texted me to catch up. We talked for about a month, hooked up a couple times, and he was treating/talking to me as if we were a couple. I want to get back together. So I’ve told him I still have feelings for him and eventually want to get back together. I know he still has feelings for me but he says he doesn’t know what he wants (We’re also doing long distance so this is a big reason of why he doesn’t know). I told him a week ago I can’t be just friends anymore so I went into no contact again. Was this the right move? I want him to realize he does want to get back together and be more that friends. Should I have just stayed friends and waited? Or was it smart to go no contact again!!

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