Sometimes, relationships turn sour and we break up. It is normal. If you can’t stop thinking about your ex-boyfriend and you think you still have a shot with him, this article will help you get him back. The following tips will make it easier for you to handle the breakup and get him back in love with you. Analyze the situation well and determine if you still have feelings for your ex-boyfriend. If you still do, follow everything written in this article and you could get him back.
Long relationships may often end without a major argument or issue, but simply because the spark was lost and both parties just ended up fading into the background. It's good that you have goals to regain your self-confidence and independence, and usually, this would trigger emotions on your ex's end to reminisce about what he has lost, especially when it's made apparent.
Or you can say something like: "You may not like it, but most of what I do now, I do it for you. You've made a better person. I understand what it means to care for someone now that I've been with you. I want to share that with you again, this time better. Because I can't deny that I still have feelings for you. I'd be lying to myself and lying to the world."
So it was a deadly suprise that all of the sudden he texted the day after we both said good night and how we love each other, saying he had confusing feelings about the relationship and a few hours later ended it over text saying that he doesn't want to lose me and he "loves me a lot" and that if we continued it would increase our chances of getting into a huge arguement and ending our relationship in a horrible way. So he ended it and we ended in a good way like he wanted and remained friends because he doesn't want to lose me.
I really need some advice, my ex and I have known each other since childhood. One day last year he started flirting online with me and then we started texting and really hit it off. He lived out of state and I wasn’t ready for long distance, but he still kept trying for me. So after months of flirting and falling more and more I decided we can give long distance a try since he comes back to our home town often and I can go visit him. After a few months of that things were good and he actually as able to move back home and we were so perfect for each other. Saw each other all the time and fell more in love, spent time with both our families all the time and every one was happy. Then my life got stressful with work and studying for Med school applications. And he got a new job that was very demanding and took a lot of his time. I noticed things became distant when he didnt have time to see me or even just relax with me, he always had work first and his family is also very demanding and took a lot of his time as well. I was planning on talking to him about the issues but he’s not one to be up front and talk things out, he rather tell me “its okay ” so i thought there were no issues, when in reality i pushed him to far and kept asking to see him or plan things or complain when he didnt even have energy to talk after work. We had date night once a week and i would see him maybe once or twice on weekends and that was okay with me, but i still made him feel bad about it. One day he had so much work he asked for me to leave him alone for a weekend and that upset me and i ended up calling him one to many times, and he exploded and told me he can’t do this any more that he needed his space and to break up, he said he wanted to figure himself out and get his life in order and that he felt bad that he didnt have the time a girl friend like me deserves and that he didnt want to hurt me anymore. I was devastated, this messed up my studying and my life for weeks. We didnt communicate for a week then i ran into him at an event, we talked some but knew it wasn’t the right time or location for a chat like this. Then we talked a few days later but everyone was still heated, he said he didnt have the answers i needed and he doesn’t know what the future holds and that he’s sorry he had to do this to me and hopes we can be friends later that we just need space now. Yet he says he cares about me and still has feelings for me. Im so confused, and probably asked to soon if he can see himself with me again, since he did the same exact thing to his last girlfriend for the same reasons and took her back. He tells me he doesn’t know what our future will be more then friends or not and doesn’t want to give me false hope…. If he worked on his own issues and i worked on mine could we get back together in a few months? he keeps saying i did nothing wrong and its all him and his own issues, but i know i was needy and acted ways I’m not proud of. I was just so scared to lose him i ended up pushing him away. I just want to know how to get him back or make him realize if we just talk about our issues instead of running from them maybe things would be smoother when were both on the same page. I really love him and deep down know he still cares for me and loves me. Im just so scared to say the wrong things now and push him away even more. He is having a major surgery soon and i care so much, but don’t want to make him think I’m needy. Could he really have his own personal issues? or did he just use that excuse to let me down easy? He tells me there is no one else but i don’t want him to move on without me during this space period if we don’t talk about things. Please help I’m a lost soul, this is my first heart break and after over a year of talking and almost 9 months dating i just can’t see why he would leave me so suddenly with out answering any questions. Is there any way to get him back? I try to contatct him as little as i can so he has space but its hard and we are still friends on social media even though he deleted all signs of our relationship together. i just worry so much that i lost my best friend and will never have him back in my life as even a friends. When we do talk i ramble and talk in circles and i know thats pushing him away more so I’m trying to stop. I just over think everything and always questioned everything and i guess it showed I’m insecure when i really have bad anxiety over a lot of things. he was always so supportive and calming and then he just left me over one fight, our first fight….I just want to talk about all i have thought about since he left me and how i hope to fix things so we can grow together. what should i do!? sorry for the long post I’m just a very confused heart broken girl who lost the love of my life, at 25! thanks for the help
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Peter also switched from "awfulizing" about his work situation from a stance of helpless victim to taking a problem-solving stance. What could he do to find a more positive work situation? He began networking with others in his field, stumbled on a job that sounded far more suitable, applied, and at this point is looking likely to get the position.
Right now, give him the space he has requested for and spend this time doing what his friend had advised (working on yourself and making changes to your life). You can't control the timing on when he reaches out to you, but the least you could do is show him that you're sincere about making it up to him and have made efforts in taking the first step forward. He may not forgive you entirely, but at least he knows you're sincere about fixing things and may decide to give things another shot.
Let the disloyal, bro hoe users drain him dry if that’s what he’s after. But, as long as he has to wonder what you’re up to and why you’re being so avoidant, his curiosity will kick in and the challenge is there. If he thinks there’s a chance of other guys hanging around his front porch, you’re going to see him do a 180 in the attitude department. How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back
Hi, my girlfriend of 3 months finally came over to my home to find out I live with my Mom. She never knew this before. She brought a bottle over, so she clearly wanted to finally have sex with me. We went to a restaurant instead because I told her my Mom is sick and I take care of her. At the restaurant, I was talking to her about log term commitment and marriage possibly. She was recently divorced with kids. I notice she never invites me to functions with her kids. We normally do stuff together with just the 2 of us. She is kind of defiant and rebellious just for the record. So, I get this text 3 days later after she comes over about wanting to break up with me because I want a long term relationship and she wants friends with benefits. I told her I was cool with friends w/ benefits too but she insists on the break up. She has a history of making excuses when she doesn't want to go to an event via text, so I don't know if the marriage questions caused the break up or was it really the mom situation/ her wanting sex. Your thoughts, what should I do to get her back??? How do I know if ever which it was?
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My ex broke up with me saying that he just lost himself in the relationship. For the first eight months that we knew each other, I was not ready to dated to a very bad relationship before him, so he continued to pursue me and try to prove that he was different. He was the perfect boyfriend for the almost three years that we were together, and he was also the one who really wanted a commitment and future. We had our entire lives together planned out from the wedding to traveling to kids. We ended up spending all of our time together and not doing anything else with anybody else. Needless to say we smothered each other to the point where we were arguing over stupid things. We had classes together for another month after our breakup which was very hard for me. Initially he was very nice to me and would be willing to talk with me about the breakup any time I was upset. He told me that he just didn’t want to be in a relationship for maybe years to come because he really needed to focus on finding himself. By the end of our relationship, I think we had both lost ourselves, and I do feel like the breakup was necessary in order for us both to get our own identities back. He was very depressed at the end of our relationship, and it was during that last month that things started to fall apart. He started seeing a therapist as well. However, after a few weeks he jumped into something with somebody else (His status still said single) and changed his Facebook profile picture to a picture of the two of them together. He started being very mean to me over text and made it clear that he was very happy. People are saying that he wants a reaction out of me. So, I stopped contacting him. It’s been maybe two weeks, but I blocked him on social media because it was too hard for me to see those things and I didn’t want to make myself crazy. His whole family are still friends with me on Facebook. Everybody seems to think he will be back eventually, but that I need to focus on myself in the meantime. I was wondering if you think blocking him would ruin our chances of getting back together. I’m also afraid that he will be afraid to give things another chance because he’ll be afraid we will fall into old habits. I want him to see that I’m making positive changes and learning from this, but I don’t know how. I’m afraid that by avoiding his problems things are only getting worse for him. I need advice please!!!
I've finally decided to calm down and stop pushing and go no contact and try to attract him back... but what I don't understand is....if he does come back ... how do people get trust back after something like that? How do people forgive their best friend and greatest supporter for suddenly dumping them and refusing to say why, even when they saw that not being given a reason was killing them? How do I ever feel safe with him again after that? How do I ever get over the really mean things he started saying during our post breakups fights, like that he might never see me again, or that his job and hobbies are more important to him than me? Even if he was just being mean I'll always wonder if he meant it now. How do I ever feel safe with him again when he watched me have a breakdown over our breakup and wasn't there for me and was still mean?
My god, you have described men to a ‘t’! Any man that’s rotunda having had a lot of ego & the truth is they are pussycsts underneath! Thankyou for this – it’s saved my heart as it’s reminded me of everything I already know but sealed it, no empathy and heart break after being left with our tiny baby after being very in love or atleast I thought we were! Apparently he wants to ‘be free’ and not be ‘ tied down’! Says he doesn’t love me, never did but tried! I’m a fairly ok attractive woman (just so you don’t think he pulled out bcs I have one leg or something) so much so that he begged me to get a tattoo of his initials as he loved me so much! but I pulled out. How does that work then????am mans madly in love with you, sees you vulnerable and kegs it! Nice ?
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He says that he was not comfortable being at his trueself with me. we were in a relationship for 3 years and now he says this.He's way too inconsistent about his thoughts and gives a list of reasons for the break up and he wants to be only FRIEDS with me at least for a while. it's been almost 4 months since we broke up, I've been pleading him all this while and today I decided to Start No Contact period for at least 2 - 3 months until December. Kindly help me in getting him back. I'm very much serious about this guy.Also please Suggest me if i'm doing it right.
He said he started contacted her when he and I started to talked about marriage which is last year. He said he is not ready to get married, so that is his excuse to suddenly betray me? He is 27 yrs old and I am 30 yrs old. All this while I never force him to get married with me. we have been together for 5 years for god sake I never force him to propose me. So he said he don’t know how to decide because he love both!!. Hello!! i have been with him for 5 years through bad and happy times, and he only with her I think 1 year or less than 1 year before me. He said he felt guilty he just leave the girl because of her status. then what about me? so I have been waiting for 2 months for him to decide. He once said to me he is not ready to get married but in his heart I am the one he want to be married to. Bullsh*t. I tried no contact but then i reach him out after two weeks. I’ve been pleading, crying, begging you name it. now i think about it i feel ashamed. This is coming from a guy that once said that he is a loyal person. F*cktard!. I even asked him what is actually our current status but he said he didn’t want to talk about that yet. so I respect him i give him space. But then during my last begging session with him when he deleted his social media that full with our happy moments, we got into a fight and misunderstanding and he accidentally said that he feel suffocated with me. Because he misunderstand what i meant during that begging session. I suddenly feel fed up and mad and all my sadness that time turn into this anger. I then said we are officially over ( i never said this before, i really determined when i said this). he then realized that he misunderstand and accidentally said he feel suffocated with me. so he try to apologize but just like that no effort just word. saying he apologize and cannot do anything if i want to end the relationshi*. maybe he thought i will be running back to him in a couple weeks. NO NO NO NOT THIS TIME. its been 5 days since i put a stop on this. This time is real! I will never reach to him first. I will never wish him on his birthday. My absence and silent is my gift to him. i feel like during those last 2 months he put me on the hook. he don’t want to let me go but he didn’t decide also which one he want.
I guess I get in to the honeymoon stage later, for me it takes time me and he seemed to be in it in the beginning and I was holding back because I was unsure. Yes, I did feel emotional distance from him during the last month but he kept following up and making plans and we continued to spend our weekends together that were so much fun. But missing the big elephant in the room, which was discussing what we are. I should also mention we are in our 30's so I am just surprised that if he finally met someone that he connects with that he would just leave to abruptly just because I brought up deleting the dating app. I just thought there was a real connection between us and if he would just open up more I could see a future with him.
If you’ve broken up with your ex, but you’re sitting there desperately searching for a way to get him back, wondering if there is still a chance for the two of you, then you may consider seeking out the help from a recognized relationship expert. Often, having the opinion and feedback from an expert can really help to make all the difference. Some experts will provide one-to-one help in person, over the phone or through Skype.
But going through difficulties is what gets us in touch with who we are and what we’re made of. This sort of growth and self-discovery is invaluable. Breaking through that feeling of “I won’t be able to survive without him” and then discovering that you can will make you realize how strong you are, and as a result, will help build your self-esteem and give you that amazing “I can get through anything” feeling.
I started no contact after a phone call five days ago. Friday is her birthday however. I want to do no contact but think it’s rude if I don’t wish her a happy birthday. Do I use the birthday as a first step of positive texting then continue no contact for 30 days? Wish I read this earlier. The neediness was the worst look and clearly hurt more then helped.
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Hi,,, my boyfriend quit relationship with me because i wrote to him too much messages and he was tired , i arguing and blaming him one week and the second week i apologised, i have changable mood,,, at last he told me it was normal relationshi and i woud not change, i told him albad words i wrote thousand messages , so he blocked me, then i begged from others mobiles he blocked me everywhere almost 30 peoples mobile, after one month no contact, i wrote to him, he wrote some short messages , then as i blamed him againhe continued blocking, whuold he come back in my life again?
Just stop, and imagine the very man who just before didn’t want to be with you and even told you that he doesn’t want you in his life, turn into a romantic Casanova who won’t leave you alone and literally yearns to be with you. What if you were able to make his heart pound in his chest and feel a special kind of desire for you each time he thinks about you? What would you give to be able to have this effect on your ex boyfriend the next time the two of you meet?
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If you had genuinely meant something to him, even her consolation would not be enough to fill the void that was lost between you and him. This is something only time will tell, and you made the right decision as it wasn't fair to you that he was going about confused and having the best of both worlds, hurting and confusing you in the process. It'll definitely work out happily for you, whether you end up with him or not, because you made the decision not to cling onto something toxic, and while it may hurt now, in the long run, you'll be happy to know that you made the right decision to free yourself from it.
Plus, it gives you the time to get past the initial unbearable phase of missing him and into a more even-tempered, secure mentality. Instead of trying to figure out signs your ex still loves you, you’ll be working on yourself and getting yourself into a better mindset. It gives you the space to say, “I don’t need him to be happy – I can be happy all on my own”.
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My ex and I of 4 years had only ever dated each other, neither of us ever dated anyone before we met eachother. I was always satisfied with this and I love her very much, I never saw the need to try new people because I was very happy with her. But 3 years into our relationship she told me she was scared of never experiencing anyone else, and at 4 years, she found herself attracted to one of her guy friends. She decided it would be best for us to break up so she and I could try new people, I believe this decision was also influenced by this friend of hers who is now her new boyfriend. Should I try to get her back or just let things play out as they will (the whole "if it's meant to be than it's meant to be" mentality)? Maybe this is best for the two of us, but at the same I love her a lot and planned on staying with her forever. I don't know if I should try to get her back, or just go out and experience new people and let the cards fall where they will with her and I.
You split for a reason…even if it's hazy now. But you and your ex-ex need to face what went wrong the first time if you're going to move forward, says couples therapist Robert Buchicchio, author of Taking Space, and then let it go, once and for all. Try hashing out the bigger points of what you want to do differently this time in a way that isn't threatening, like "It would make me happy if…" and have him do the same.
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Two weeks ago I hit him. He became very angry and said that it was too late for me. After that we have hung and cuddled, as usual. He's going to London in a few days and we're still not together again. I'm afraid I've broken my chances by hitting him and making drama. I do not know how to do "no contact" when he is in another country, busy with studies. Can you help me? He says he still loves me, but lacks sparkle. He also thinks that it's a lot of drama and I'm rushing things. He says he will still hang and talk. But it will not work for me, I will become insecure and make more drama. What shall I do?
Throughout the month of March, my other co-workers started to bring their friendship to my attention (which didn’t help my feeling of jealousy). It even went so far as our boss (and friend) pulling him into his office to tell him that it was not ok how much of his free time he was spending with this girl and how bad it looked. In my ex’s eyes, this just made it worse. It is like when you tell a kid not to eat a piece of candy, all they want to do is to then eat the piece of candy. Now, I am not the kind of girl to tell someone who they can and cannot be friends with. But when that person is a good looking single girl who follows you around like a puppy dog and showers you with attention. Yes, that is going to bother me. Especially when she does it in front of you. And yes, it is hard to hold the jealousy back sometimes. He could see that I was uncomfortable. But really, he shouldn’t have put me in the situations in the first place. And still, he made me feel as though it was my fault that I was having these feelings…
Get moving. During this time, it’s a great idea to get active. It’s practically common knowledge that exercise provides many benefits on various levels, both physically and emotionally. Exercise can help us reduce our stress levels, boost our mood, relieve anxiety, increase relaxation, helps us stay focused and the list goes on and on. And of course, in addition to feeling good, exercise will also help you look really good! Fortunately, getting moving is more fun than ever thanks to a wide variety of options out there. You’ve got Zumba, CrossFit, Salsa, Pole dancing, Barre Method, Soul Cycle, Yoga, Pilates… really whatever you want. You can also just opt to go the old-fashioned route and run on the treadmill or outside when it’s nice. Just do something to get those endorphins pumping!
My situation with my ex fits this profile perfectly. He left me over four years ago because of some really emotionally tough stuff that he was facing. He’s made A LOT of progress since then, but he’s moving at an excruciatingly slow pace. I understand; I really do. But, it’s hard. And no amount of me being happy and attractive is going to speed up his progress. In the meantime, because he IS making progress, I can’t stop hoping that he’ll call me and I can’t bring myself to date anyone else. And as long as I’m still hoping that he’ll call, my pain never ends.
Whilst perpetual moaners and negative people are difficult to be around, sometimes, people, male or female, need a little help and encouragement, to reach a state of happiness and contentment after a difficult time, and whether you are male, female, partner, mother, father etc, being there to help them is a compassionate thing to do. Only a sociopath can function without feelings or compassion and everyone knows the disruption they can cause in people lives.
The key to succeeding in this very first step is keeping your emotions in check. This is usually easier said than done, especially after a breakup when our emotions are usually running wild! When you miss your ex, it’s easy to let emotions and longing take hold, causing you to reach out to him in an attempt to stay on his mind, or maybe to reignite the spark.
We went back to our place and he told me he wanted to break up with me for sure. I tried to reason with him again, to give me more time But he was sure, he had felt bad about changing his mind before apparently; after a couple hours of heated conversation, of me trying to convince him, he even told me he didn’t love me anymore ( which I’m not sure about, was he saying that so that i let go?). I gave in and we took my flight ticket back home. We spent the day after together, it was awesome and incredibly sad. I didn’t want to believe I was letting go of a life I wanted so much. He was so sad too, it felt like he was hurting a lot too.
We didn’t get there. He decided he needed to go stay at his mom’s for a couple nights to clear his head. He would be back on Friday and everything would be ok. So I said, “great, if that is what you need, then do it.” Clearly two nights was not enough because I could tell that nothing had changed and he didn’t miss me. I was still determined to enjoy our first weekend off together. Maybe it would remind him of the good times we have had together.
My partner and I have been together a little over two years but recently broke up (he broke up with me) and I want to follow all these rules, as I believe I am strong enough to do it and I absolutely want him back however we do currently live together and study at the same school. I’m living in a new town and don’t have any family or friends here so providing space is hard. What do I do???
In 2001, after her employment at Webtrends ended, Vinneccy filed for the restraining order against her in Florida, claiming that Swetnick threatened him and his family after he ended their relationship. “She was threatening my family, threatening my wife and threatening to do harm to my baby at that time,” Vinneccy told Politico last week. "I know a lot about her. She’s not credible at all,” he said. “Not at all.”
Just imagine a scenario where you don’t want to talk to a person and they are sending you a text message every 5 minutes. Your inbox is filled with hundreds of messages by them, even though you haven’t replied to even one. And later on at night, that person gets drunk and calls you and start saying complete and utter non-sense. What would you think of that person? Would it make you want to start a new relationship with them?
Eventually he told me he can not stand it anymore and although he loves me he cant be with me. So we didnt talk for 2 days, and then he wrote me that Im the love if his life and he wont give up on this. But I decided to take a step back cuz it hurt me. So I told him we need to do the talk and decide what we are gonna do. After 2 weeks we finally did it and had a big fight. Then we decided to try again. So we met again and it just led to nowhere. We went in circles, could not even find a place to go to do the talk because of my stubbornness and his lack of understanding...
My ex had consistently chased me for 6 years throughout the whole of school and after, we were always really close friends and i was always too afraid to progress further incase that friendship got ruined. Even in his one other long term relationship he admitted to still always wanting to be with me and even throughout the good times with his ex he still imagined doing those things with me instead. Then after going through a hard time with a previous ex myself and having him support me we began to get close again and eventually ended up starting a relationship. And while at first i was slightly unsure about it, it quickly became clear it was the best decision i’d ever made, he was so madly in love with me and for the first time i felt so confident that someone felt like the luckiest person alive to be with me. He absolutely adored me and treated me like a queen. 2 and a half years later, and only just coming back off a wonderful week long holiday together with his family.. out of the blue, it’s over. Seeming in a bit of a bad mood one day i asked him if he was okay or if i’d done something and got the ‘we need to talk’ text. My stomach immediately dropped and i felt sick, but didn’t want to jump to conclusions and assume the worst. He came over that evening and told me he thought things had changed and that for weeks he’d had this feeling of that ‘sometimes’ he just wants to be my friend. Sometimes?! Even though that morning he’d commented on how it was our anniversary and 2 days previously we had even been on a date night where he’d complained because i had red lipstick on meaning he couldn’t kiss me and asked me to sit next to him in the bar instead of opposite him so he could put his arm around me, not really ‘i just want to be your friend behaviour’ right?
I’m definitely NOT saying you should have been looking to have a kid with her recently – not at all. I’m just saying that the relationship should have been very gradually progressing into more and more serious territory. Women need to notice this kind of progress because it shows them that eventually the relationship could lead to them delivering what nature intended – kids.
This applies to your past relationship during arguments or conflicts that you may have gotten into, to the actual breakup, but also moving forward while trying to win back their heart. In order to really understand what your ex felt or feels and to come up with the right approach to connect and touch their heart you will need consider the 360 degree approach
i was having the relationship problems for around one month…..fault was mine i was so indulged in my bfs lyf…so that he felt so bounded…..i was feeling no important to him…i didnt supported him for his work which he was doiung for me….i blamed him for physicallity and asked for break up many times and put ol the gifts in garbage in front of him….but after that i realized that i was so wrong…i know he loves me..and he know that i love him truly too…i tried alot to make him conveinced that i m so sorry feel guilty and changed….some how i managed to do so…we went in relationshp again but just for 10 days….after that he suddenly messaged he can never get comfortable again he cant forget what i have done…his will power is just so strong..that if he says its no……is there an chance or way to get him back….coz i realy love him alot
My ex bf and I live together. He said he will never change his mind. He says he is moving out. I have no proof. He hasn’t told his family we are broken up, for over a month now. He got on tinder immediately and is now off tinder. He is posting videos from a vacation of our from almost a year ago. I am living my life and going out trying to be social. How can I get him back?
Since winning her back in the next 8 months will be beyond your control, I suggest not thinking about winning her back for now and as she's said, to simply move on for now and to just focus on yourself instead. If the relationship was a meaningful one to both parties, the opportunity would always present itself again in the future, and should you want to give it another shot at that time, then you can always consider things again.
However, I have been suffering from undiagnosed mental illness for the past four years, due to a traumatic/abusive relationship I was in previously. I frequently got overemotional, scared of intimacy or potential abandonment or felt that I was undeserving of him, which meant that I often 'sabotaged' myself by pushing him away. My boyfriend really cared for me; my self-hatred and my fear meant that he constantly felt unable to support me and distant from me. A month before our breakup, we were both in a very stressful situation (exams, among other things) and a fight, over him saying something offensive on accident, led to me having a panic attack. Again, I tried to self-sabotage and said I wanted him to leave me which really hurt him. I was so apologetic and couldn't stop blaming myself for his pain, but he was so cold to me. For a month leading up to the break-up, he barely spoke to me and we only saw each other once. We fought a lot, as I constantly tried to apologise or make amends but also got upset/angry that he would ignore me and the problem...
“Hi! I’ve been a fan of your work for over five years now. When I broke up with my ex, I was devastated. Then I read a lot of your stuff about getting your ex back. It changed my thinking and my thinking changed my life. I worked on myself. I started doing makeup, became a makeup artist, launched my makeup line, and have started to get recognition. I feel so good about myself now and I have no regrets. Now my ex wants me back but I realized I don’t want to go back because I’m moving forward. Thanks for everything you’ve shared and written.”
So my ex broke up with me a week ago (we had only been dating for two months but apparently it was his longest relationship in awhile) and we’ve been in contact almost every day for the past week just talking as friends so that we don’t lose our snapchat streak (I know that’s a stupid reason to keep in contact with someone). He already drunk texted me saying that he made a mistake but when I confronted him about it the next day he remembered what he said just fine but said he couldn’t get back together because he “needed to work on himself first”. I feel awful starting the “4 week no contact rule” since we’ve been chatting for so long but I really want him back. What do I do?
If you wish to avoid this Monotony of Relationship then you have to increase your value higher than the level you had before your previous relationship. You can surely increase your value with some actions that you will find later in this website but for now I want you to consider becoming the girl that you were before getting into your previous relationship.
Don't forget to be yourself. It's important to work on yourself to improve your relationship as long as both people are doing the work. But you shouldn't change yourself completely just to fit some image of what your ex wanted from you. You should only change if you want to change, not just for him. Remember that he liked you for a reason originally, so if you change too much, he may not be able to recognize the girl he fell for.
In 2012, my little brother Adam died. My life shattered, and I spent the next month drunk in bed. It had been four years since Mary and I had spoken, but it spoke volumes to me that she came out of the woodwork to send me a handwritten note expressing her sorrow for Adam’s death. Through everything—the fights, the skipped plans, the immaturity—she found it in herself to reach out to me. I was blown away, and she was back in my life. We learned that we only lived a few blocks away from each other, and that is how we started dating for the fourth and final time. Once again we started seeing each other as friends. We always met up at this one café in the Lower East Side. I’d get a coffee, and she’d get a bagel.