He told his best friend’s girlfriend i smothered him which I was never home I worked, ran errands alone watched t.v alone at times and hung out with friend’s. He told his sister we bickered and that’s why…now I know I need to step away from his family, but I was told by his sister he is content, he misses me and is sad ,but he is OK with being alone. He just doesn’t want to be responsible for someone else right now…he told his sister not to tell him if I find anyone and he “says” he doesn’t want to date anyone for a while…all he has is his sister really his dad really just works and stays in his room.
In the next few weeks, you need to have a new man interested in you. Find one or fabricate one, but by all means you have a new flame according to anyone that he may know. You don’t need to announce it in smoke signals, but if you are asked, smile and discreetly say that yes, you are dating someone. It may sound nuts, but it does help you gain the piece of mind. If you’re not ready to date and still missing him every second of every day, that’s fine. I understand. But HE doesn’t have to know that.
Ouch, I know this one must definitely sting to hear but it is a legitimate REAL reason for why he may have broken up with you. This is a common complaint among men who are dating someone who let themselves go a little bit in the relationship. You may have to put in some extra work here but trust me when I say that your physical appearance is easier to improve than your personality so don’t let his thoughts get to you.
I've finally decided to calm down and stop pushing and go no contact and try to attract him back... but what I don't understand is....if he does come back ... how do people get trust back after something like that? How do people forgive their best friend and greatest supporter for suddenly dumping them and refusing to say why, even when they saw that not being given a reason was killing them? How do I ever feel safe with him again after that? How do I ever get over the really mean things he started saying during our post breakups fights, like that he might never see me again, or that his job and hobbies are more important to him than me? Even if he was just being mean I'll always wonder if he meant it now. How do I ever feel safe with him again when he watched me have a breakdown over our breakup and wasn't there for me and was still mean?
This is great Eric. I’ve struggled for a while with a guy that’s not really been putting in much effort, I think because I was always there waiting for him and over functioning. He’s just broken up with me and I realise how much of myself I had lost and how I wasn’t taking care of my own happiness. I kind of for drawn into his hot/cold behaviour and felt anxious uneasy. I’m going to take my life back and take care of myself and be gracious and honest with him. I shouldn’t pin all my hopes on another person but all my hopes on myself. I really hope for a big shift on perspective on the inside after this. Of course I am heartbroken but I realise I fall into the same pattern in every relationship so this breakup is a big sign to change.