A week or so ago my boyfriend of one year broke up with me, said his feelings just went away, and that he had been feeling that may for a while. We were perfect together, had the same sense of humour, always had a great time together no matter what we were doing, could easily and effectively communicate, etc. We were absolutely infatuated with each other! but there was one issue that came up a few times that we could not seem to fix. This issue was that as much as I understood and agreed that time with friends is so important in any relationship, i justwanted to be more involved in his life sometimes in regards to hanging out with him and his friends, and him hanging out with me and mine and not have him always going out late without including me, every single time. However for some reason he just did not want me to join them, and never wanted to come meet me when I was with my friends, even if they had their partners with them. After yet another discussion about this issue, he just decided he couldn’t compromise and broke up with me instead. Also said that he’s lost feelings for me. I trust completely that there was no cheating involved. I am wondering whether I have a good chance of getting him back in terms of him realising what he had through no contact, because honestly, apart from that we were absolutely perfect together, and I wonder if the same issue coming up a few times is what turned him off, even though I was never suggesting that he stop go out at all.
This is 100% correct. Applying It is much harder obviously. My girlfriend of 7 years (I was first guy she slept with) left me. I did absolutely everything wrong. Everything this tells you to do. I did the opposite. 6 months of begging and crying. I eventually gave up. Gave her two months of peace. Start seeing someone else. Got my shit together. Became attractive to her again. Blah Blah. We've been married for 10 years now and have two kids.

One of the most devastating mistakes you can make is trying to force it to work with a guy who is wrong with you. I’ve seen people spend years of their life trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. Everyone in their life tells them to just move on and let him go but they can’t. Why? Because they don’t have clarity or any objectivity because they are still sucked into the emotional whirlpool and have yet to break themselves free.
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He thinks he still controls the situation and is clearly taking you for granted that he has the option to come back at any time he wants whenever he feels like it. You need to regain control of your life and family, make the decision to walk away and until he realizes his mistakes, he isn't going to change or be a good role model for your kids. He needs to realize that his actions are wrong and not acceptable to his family, and he needs to begin respecting you or at least fear the reality of you leaving permanently. The best way to do that is to walk away and treat the situation as it is - an unacceptable one where he can't have the best of both women and not take responsibility for the kids or when things get tough, and drink away his problems.


So I’d like to preface this by saying I’m a woman and my ex-fiancée is a woman as well. I do find most of this page to apply, but it is challenging having two women with all of that emotion and overthinking. I’ve finished with the no contact period after my ex broke up with me, and contacted her with my “elephant in the room” message. I know she’s in the “missing phase” from texts she’s sent me, and thought it was the perfect time to send it. I am in a good place and am feeling more positive every day. I was prepared for the possibility of her responding, and how to close the conversation before giving her a few days of digestion. However, I was not prepared for her response. My message included: an apology for my behavior after the breakup, that I accepted the breakup and think it was for the best, and my positive change. Her response was “I’m glad you’re doing well. I’m not.” I’m thrown off by this, because I’m almost worried that she’s under the impression I’m moving on (although I never said anything of the sort), and she seems almost upset at my message. I’m unsure on how to respond to this- hoping you can offer me some advice. I could be totally overthinking this, but we were together for five years and I know her very well and can decipher texts. But now that we’re broken up, I could just be analyzing too much. Please help! I really don’t want to screw this up :)
btw I got stuck in this funny situation I don’t know if it’s possible but can you or your staff delete my comment stating my story ( on august 19, 2018) ? A friend of mine is suggesting this site for me and I’m too afraid that she may read my comment here she will instantly know it’s me .. Im so totally busted if that happens hahahaha pretty please help mee all of my NC plan will go to nothing if this happen cause she’s pretty close to my ex and I can’t really trust her mouth LOL..

Out of the blue he just stopped talking to me. We go to the same school and there we usually talk but one day he started avoiding me and stopped texting me, too. A couple days later I found him before school and tried to ask him what was going on. He didn’t really answer. When I asked him if he still wanted to be together, all he did was shrugged. I was very upset at his response and just walked away.
Work on your self-esteem. If you struggle with neediness, you're probably a little lacking in the self-esteem department. You might be looking for your ex to make you feel better about yourself, but the fact is that you are the only person who can really do that. You shouldn't base your happiness on someone else. It makes them feel guilty, obligated and eventually, resentful towards you.

Hi Lauren again... Well, quite some time passed by, we broke up 3 and a half months ago. I did try all this what you recommend here: waited, wrote the apology letter, asked him if we could talk about what could I have done better. This is what happened: we met for a coffee and had a good talk, just general catching up and casual subjects, however he didn't mention anything about our relationship and I didn't want to push him. It was a friendly time, with some sparks still there. Then we continued in email, I asked him again about what has gone wrong between us, to which he responded that it was mainly about HIM: he was too stressed about certain things in his life that had nothing to do with me. And mentioned a couple of concerns about me, but they were not anything serious. Then HE suggested that we should meet and discuss it, he will be happy to see me - but another month passed by and he didn't seem to be able to fit me in his extremely busy work schedule and stress and I indeed knew that they had something going on in the company. I was very understanding and not pushy at all. Maybe I was way too patient and gave him too much time: tonight, I saw him with another woman, walking in town, holding hands... Now, we will still meet once, because I forgot something at his place. I am totally clueless of how to behave toward him. Shall I pretend that I don't know anything and wait till he brings up that he already has somebody else, or shall I confront him? The worst thing is that he is one of the last men on Earth I would expect to be dishonest. What shall I do now? Now I am close to 50 and I have never been so happy with a man than with him, in fact, he was the first one I could have imagined to grow old with, and he used to be also very happy and planning a wonderful life together. And now I am in quite a shock. Thank you in advance! ...
My situation with my ex fits this profile perfectly. He left me over four years ago because of some really emotionally tough stuff that he was facing. He’s made A LOT of progress since then, but he’s moving at an excruciatingly slow pace. I understand; I really do. But, it’s hard. And no amount of me being happy and attractive is going to speed up his progress. In the meantime, because he IS making progress, I can’t stop hoping that he’ll call me and I can’t bring myself to date anyone else. And as long as I’m still hoping that he’ll call, my pain never ends.
You would probably have to respect that decision and consider walking away from things because right now you're the third party, and while it's no fault of your own for falling in love since you didn't know, given her history with her boyfriend of 3 years, she's probably going to choose him at the end of the day, and anything else you do from now onwards would paint you as the bad guy.

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I was in a serious relationship for 2 years and we broke up almost 2 years back.My boyfriend cheated on me, he ignore me for several months and left me with nothing, i could not get over him as the reason for break up was he fell in love with someone else at his work place,.after few months of depression and sadness.I feel used and miss him a lot.I tried to make up with him multiple times, trying to talk to him but everything failed and I don’t know what to do.He told me that he has stopped thinking about me, I tried to act normal, I feel confused and worse because I end up seeing him everyday.It just bugs me that he has moved on pretty quickly and I am feeling rejected and dejected.but i am happy today that GREAT MUTABA brought my boyfriend back, I am so happy, Now my boyfriend is all mine again.I’m happy again Great help from Great Mutaba, I truly believe in him and his work.he is a professional.I really enjoyed the result which i got, his love spell is marvelous, he is truly gifted, his love spell has brought me happiness, I am extremely pleased, it worked, he has the most powerful love spell, I recommend anyone who need hisor her Ex-lover back should search GREAT MUTABA on google or search him anywhere he is Very trustworthy..


It motivated me to search for a job even more, to subscribe to a sport to meet new people and make friends, to give him the freedom and the life he was asking for. A few days after, we went to a party and i gave him his space, made friend with other girls, I was doing great but he started talking with his former booty call right in front of me, which of course, made me feel so bad and jealous. So I ignored him the rest of the night. But I apologised the day after and it was ok.

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Followed all the no contact advice and the texting advice. With the help of some friends things have been going extremely well over the past week, lots of heart to heart conversations about what went wrong and how we could've done it better/differently. Things were also moving very quickly. Too quickly. We hung out every day this past week, had friends meeting eachother, and were kissing at the end of our talks.
So me and my ex have been going out for ten months and about 5 days ago she said she was unhappy about how ive been treating her the last few weeks (no effort etc), i have very important exams coming up that she knew about which i need to revise for and have accidently distnaced myself from her because of them, i asked her why she didnt say anyrhing sooner and she said 'i wanted to see if anything changed' in the following 2 days she broke up with me and shes just changed her profile picture to something not with us in, she lives very far away 250 miles but i go down as often as i can to see her but its hard at the moment due to these exams and my stress, it seems all rushed and like shes serious but i dont think shes had time to rationalise it properly can you help?!
If he has met a rebound, he would care less instead about you coming to pick your things, but the fact that he reacted this way means there's a hint of feelings remaining (whether it's positive or negative is yet to be determined) and does not seem ready to face you yet. Perhaps continue to keep things on a casual note, and subsequently first address the relationship and why it failed before proceeding with collecting your stuff or meeting him.
We’ve come full circle; at this point I can also tell you that if you’ve done everything possible to get back with your ex, if you’ve followed our advice diligently, if you’ve worked with a relationship expert and the one you love still isn’t willing to make any compromises or sacrifices to also accommodate you and to make things work; then perhaps you should consider moving on and research how to get over a breakup because he or she probably wasn’t right for you.

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My bf of five months is going thru a divorce. He broke up with me saying he could fall in love with me so easily but can't let himself and needs time to heal from his marriage. It is an increasingly messy divorce. He messaged the next day saying he has set up counselling and will sort everything out and then again to say he loved every minute with me and is sorry he's not himself right now. I told him to take the time he needs to heal and have been responding to his texts but am finding this all very had and confusing....

I just had a break up a week ago with my girlfriend.I broke up with her on her birthday thats the saddest part but2days later i realized how badly i want her in my life but she has become very cold hearted and saying that she wants to stay single and is very happy to be single.She also said that she has moved and asked me to do the same .But i still want her very badly because we were in a relationship for three years just because of my continuos anger ,insecurities and over possesiveness i have hurt her very badly.What should I do to get her back.please guide me and help me.


So if you have worked hard to bring your ex boyfriend back into the picture and progress is being made on multiple communication fronts, then take an opportunity and drop him a little not.  Nothing over the top.  Nothing about making a relationship commitment. You don’t want to spook your ex bf. We will talk about that in another post.  Just something that cements you enjoyed yourself.  Keep it light!

So I’d like to preface this by saying I’m a woman and my ex-fiancée is a woman as well. I do find most of this page to apply, but it is challenging having two women with all of that emotion and overthinking. I’ve finished with the no contact period after my ex broke up with me, and contacted her with my “elephant in the room” message. I know she’s in the “missing phase” from texts she’s sent me, and thought it was the perfect time to send it. I am in a good place and am feeling more positive every day. I was prepared for the possibility of her responding, and how to close the conversation before giving her a few days of digestion. However, I was not prepared for her response. My message included: an apology for my behavior after the breakup, that I accepted the breakup and think it was for the best, and my positive change. Her response was “I’m glad you’re doing well. I’m not.” I’m thrown off by this, because I’m almost worried that she’s under the impression I’m moving on (although I never said anything of the sort), and she seems almost upset at my message. I’m unsure on how to respond to this- hoping you can offer me some advice. I could be totally overthinking this, but we were together for five years and I know her very well and can decipher texts. But now that we’re broken up, I could just be analyzing too much. Please help! I really don’t want to screw this up :)

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Well my boyfriend who I've dated for 4 months this told me he just doesn't feel the same way how I feel. We talked about it before and this is our second breakup. What confuses me is how he says he still cares about me and hates seeing me broken like this. And in my heart I love him even with this, and I've read your article that I shouldn't try to pl ish for something because it'll just push him away more and I dont want that. Is there any way or possibility that we will be together again? I've seen this before with one of my friends and her and her ex got bsck together again and he wont let her go ever again. I ha e this thought in my head that it'll happen to me where he'll come back and we'll have a stronger relationship and be together. I'm in the grief stage now and everything just hurts. Is there any way that I'll know he will know that this was a good decision he made between us? He messages me still a day after the break up and he says he feels horrible for putting me through this pain again. I just want to know what to do next for him to take me back.

Best Way To Get Ex Back Ignore Them


Negative responses do not feel good at all. It really sucks and can feel like the end of the world especially if you put a lot of work into getting your ex boyfriend back. Your best bet in these situations is to simply not respond at all and understand that your ex is still processing their emotions. It doesn’t necessarily mean that all hope is lost it just means you may need to be more patient and try again in a week or so.
It may be hard to go through your daily routine without her at the moment, but you're going to have to learn how to, since the only way you win her back right now is by being patient and giving both parties some space to recollect their emotions and feelings for one another. The other guy sounds like a rebound right now, and you'll have to let their relationship fall apart on their own before you make a move.
It depends on what your goal is - whether to win her back or move on. If it's to win her back you have to ask yourself, by pointing out her faults or ignoring her, would it help with the situation and bring you closer to winning her back? As much as she may have hurt you previously, if you want to get back together with her, you're going to have to first let go of the negative thoughts and avoid harping on them.
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Spend some time in no contact to work on your issues on insecurities and make positive changes to your life. Often if a party doesn’t know why they want the relationship to end, it could simply be that they just feel overwhelmed by the emotions and it would be easier to let go. Show her these changes at the end of no contact when you reach out and try not to be too pushy or needy this time around.

It would be a good idea to fact find a bit more about her current situation (from mutual friends, etc), such as whether she may be seeing anyone, if she's going through a rough time, or anything that may be a reason for her hot/cold attitude towards you. There's also a chance that she is facing internal conflict between meeting you and getting reminded of both good and bad times from the past.
Hi, my girlfriend of 3 months finally came over to my home to find out I live with my Mom. She never knew this before. She brought a bottle over, so she clearly wanted to finally have sex with me. We went to a restaurant instead because I told her my Mom is sick and I take care of her. At the restaurant, I was talking to her about log term commitment and marriage possibly. She was recently divorced with kids. I notice she never invites me to functions with her kids. We normally do stuff together with just the 2 of us. She is kind of defiant and rebellious just for the record. So, I get this text 3 days later after she comes over about wanting to break up with me because I want a long term relationship and she wants friends with benefits. I told her I was cool with friends w/ benefits too but she insists on the break up. She has a history of making excuses when she doesn't want to go to an event via text, so I don't know if the marriage questions caused the break up or was it really the mom situation/ her wanting sex. Your thoughts, what should I do to get her back??? How do I know if ever which it was?

Get Ex Back Visualization


The weird part was when I had one guy leave me as soon as I had another he got jealous. He was so pissed he set his carpet on fire. I usally do the break ups but when he broke up I went with another guy I wasn’t realy all that interested in. I basiclly went with him because I was bored. Needless to say it was interesting when his brother told me the guy was so pissed he set the carpet on fire, I told him the truth and we got back together. I’m not sure how long it lasted but he and I stayed friends after I broke up this time. The last I heard he had issues with his life. Oh well boys will be boys I wonder what Eric thinks of that.
Similarly, your relationship also didn’t come to an end just because your ex boyfriends finds someone prettier or sexier than you. It is crucial to understand your ex boyfriend was attract with your seductive, selective and sexier appearance and he didn’t leave you just because he finds someone sexier or seductive than you. If he didn’t like you in the first look then he never pursuit you over the other opportunities he had.

In the next few weeks, you need to have a new man interested in you. Find one or fabricate one, but by all means you have a new flame according to anyone that he may know. You don’t need to announce it in smoke signals, but if you are asked, smile and discreetly say that yes, you are dating someone. It may sound nuts, but it does help you gain the piece of mind. If you’re not ready to date and still missing him every second of every day, that’s fine. I understand. But HE doesn’t have to know that.
Hi Lauren, this couldn't have come at a more perfect time for me. My boyfriend of 7 years, broke up with me a week ago. I have read most of the Mars Venus books and am currently reading Mars and Venus: Starting Over. I'm not ready to give up on the relationship, he is my everything. He claims, he's afraid of commitment and that I can't make him happy for the rest of his life, but also claimed I'm perfect and don't need to change at all. Gave me the "it's not you, it's me" thing. I still have hope that if I give him his space he will change his mind and I'm not to the point where I can think about him not changing his mind, that is too hard. I have broken down and texted him a few times and told him how I was feeling. I stopped talking to him over the weekend and on day 4, I woke up to a text from him. It wasn't anything about us, just a video of a silly dog. I guess I'm just trying to figure out if he still cares? Is it just the friendship he misses? He claims I'm still his best friend. I can't be friends with him, I'm still in love with him. I know every situation is different and you ultimately can't tell he what he is thinking, but I guess do you think if I give him his space, he might come back? ...
Whether if you’re madly in love with your significant other or looking to get your ex back it is very important for you to be aware of the power struggle. You also must continuously adjust according to the dynamics that you are both in; at times let go and other times take a stand and be a bit tougher with the one you love; out of love for them and to save your relationship from itself!

I’m not sure if you can help me or not. So me and my ex were friends for nearly 2 years before we got together and after a discussion we decided that it would be a good idea to try dating each other (both of us had been wanting to date the other for at least 8months but hadn’t told eachother due to the friendship). Everything was going great and we made a promise that if things didn’t go to plan we’d stay friends because our friendship was important to both of us. We made it to just over 2 months and then broke up. It was a pretty easy break up, nothing too traumatic but the way he acted could perhaps been seen as a bit out of hand by some people. Though out the relationship everything was great, he treated well and with respect and he wasn’t pushy for sex. I also was respectful to him and treated him really well throughout. Everyone including myself always thought that we would last forever but I guess good things come to an end at some point. My boyfriend is 18 and I’m 16 so I guess that makes things more difficult. Anyway, we were great with eachother even up to the day of the breakup and then I found out that he had messaged his mate a week before saying he was “getting bored” of being in a realtionship with me and his mate told him to keep going on seeing how things went. Having found this out pretty late at night, I asked him as soon as I could the next morning. When I did, he agreed with what I had found out and we broke up. He told me that I had done nothing wrong and that he wanted to remain best friends as we previously were. He explained that due to me being his first girlfriend, he didn’t know what to expect in a relationship and due to this, he didn’t wanna be in a realtionship with anyone. He messaged me the next morning saying that he was sorry and felt like he had let me down. I didn’t reply. I decided to start no contact and have been doing so for the last 15 days. Before we broke up, it was planned that we would come to my school prom with me but now due to the break up and no contact this is no longer a plan that we have. I have been recently debating about whether or no I should ask him to come because even though we have broken up, I still love and feel bad because he shouldn’t have to miss out because of the breakup as he didn’t have a prom of his own and was really Looking forward to going to mine. He also organised a suit and we talked of how we were matching te dress and tie etc. I know that even if I keep up the 30 or 60 day no contact, I am still going to feel the exact same way about him as I always have and so I’m thinking of ending the no contact and asking him to prom with me, even if it just be as friends. I need to decide pretty quickly as I only have 2 days left to purchase the ticket but I’m scared that he will say no and I’ll end up hurt and I don’t know if it’s a bad idea to end no contact. I thinking that perhaps if I do ask him to prom and he says yes. I continue the no contact until the date of the prom? Do you think I should end no contact and ask him to prom with me?

Hi me and my boyfriend of 9 months just broke up. It was an out of the blue break up that left me confused and shocked. Everything seemed good to me we had only gotten into one disagreement the whole time we were together. But our relationship was hard. He worked the graveyard shift so we only got to see each other on the weekend. During the week our schedules were opposite. When I worked he slept and vis versa. So we would try to communicate as much as we could right before the other one would go to work. He met my family enjoyed time with. Literally was hanging out with them the weekend before and out of the blue one night he told me we should break up. That he felt like he couldn’t be the boyfriend I needed and that he felt we hit a Plateau. That he felt that he should be feeling a certain way by now but wasn’t. I.e. his longest relationship was 8 months before me and he’s 36. I miss him and want him back I don’t understand why this happened out of no where.

National Get Your Ex Back Day


Look, forget that relationship hiatus even existed. You both up and went on with your lives while you were apart—but that doesn’t mean you need to talk about what went down. “She doesn’t need to hear about the bad dates you went on,” says Spira,“ or about your conquests either.” Would you want to hear about the guys who took your place? Didn’t think so.
Alright, lets say that I was trying to get an ex girlfriend back and I had made it this far into the step by step process I am outlining here. I took out a sheet of paper and wrote down what I thought our best couple experiences were together. For the sake of this page lets say that me and my ex had an experience where we were watching a football game outdoors and it was really cold. She was getting very cold so I offered her my jacket.
Even if there was no cheating involved and the relationship seemed perfect, some people just aren't willing to go out of their way to change their lifestyle habits, which seemed like the issue with your ex. If he made no attempt to include you in his personal circle or be part of yours and isn't even willing to compromise, you might want to reconsider if getting back together would be the right thing to do, since this may not change even down the road and you would have to be okay with separately sharing him with his friends and vice versa.
This is eerily similar to the EX2 System, but can yield results. As an actual person that's used the method, I got stunning results after only a week, however, I should have pushed it out another week and it would have been much more effective and could have resulted in us getting back together, rather than meeting up and having sex in my Mustang one last time.

We had agreed to always be good friends if we ever broke up and stay close, so after he started talking again I treated him like a close friend and I tried to find out why he'd broken up with me so i could clarify anything id done to upset him. He will not give me a proper reason and I don't know why. He's given me all these really vague hints about how I "have really hurt him" but wont say how, i "don't accept him", something about how I've apparently lied to him (I havent) but he refuses to tell me what I've lied about, says he doesn't trust me "with anything",says we "never made sense" when a month earlier he seemed madly in love with me, says he doesn't have enough time or patience for me (which somehow wasn't much of an issue when we first started dating despite his busy life) and has told me I should be able to figure out the reason myself. I have no idea where this is all coming from and am totally bewildered and so confused what I did wrong.


In a sworn statement provided to the Senate Judiciary Committee, a man who claims to be an ex-boyfriend of Christine Blasey Ford says that he personally witnessed Ford coach a friend on how to take a polygraph exam. If true, it would mean Ford provided false testimony to the Senate Judiciary Committee last week when she claimed she had never had any discussions with anyone about how to take a polygraph.
Throughout the month of March, my other co-workers started to bring their friendship to my attention (which didn’t help my feeling of jealousy). It even went so far as our boss (and friend) pulling him into his office to tell him that it was not ok how much of his free time he was spending with this girl and how bad it looked. In my ex’s eyes, this just made it worse. It is like when you tell a kid not to eat a piece of candy, all they want to do is to then eat the piece of candy. Now, I am not the kind of girl to tell someone who they can and cannot be friends with. But when that person is a good looking single girl who follows you around like a puppy dog and showers you with attention. Yes, that is going to bother me. Especially when she does it in front of you. And yes, it is hard to hold the jealousy back sometimes. He could see that I was uncomfortable. But really, he shouldn’t have put me in the situations in the first place. And still, he made me feel as though it was my fault that I was having these feelings…

So, now that you know what changes you need to make physically lets talk about arguably the harder thing to improve, your mental state. One of the biggest assets about the no contact period is that it gives you time to calm down a bit from the mental tension that was your breakup. This section is going to be all about how to get through your breakup and heal emotionally. However, in order for that to happen you need to take a few actions first.


Long distance relationship, We dead-loved each other for one year and then I broke up. She left immediately and I missed her for two weeks and texted back. Three months I didnt care, She kept texting and called. slowly she came up with this breakup thing. All of a sudden she declared breakup and I couldnt digest it. I begged her for 2 weeks. Will she get back? How long should I wait?

Sample Letter To Ex Girlfriend To Get Her Back


Wow I can’t believe how much I have written. I just checked and this is getting close to 10,000 words. Ok, we are very close to the end here. This section is all about taking a big risk. More specifically, setting up a date with your ex boyfriend for the first time since your break up. All the experts have a different view of how this should be done. The truth of the matter is that if you played pretty close to the game plan I laid out for you, your ex boyfriend will probably have suggested to meet up IN PERSON by now. However, if he didn’t don’t worry, I have a plan for you!

We ran into each other randomly about five years later. I was stunned to see him (he was in my house of all places, someone brought him to a party there and he had no idea he’d be seeing me!). I could barely speak I was so nervous. We chatted for a bit, then he messaged me on Facebook a few days later and we talked for hours and hours, I was positive that this was the beginning of round two for us, but then he went dark again. A few more years went by and we ran into each other again. Once again I had soaring high hopes… and then was crushed again when nothing came of it (I found out later he had a girlfriend at the time).
My name is Alli and I was with my boyfriend for about 4 years. He broke up with me almost 2 weeks ago because he found out I had been using his debit card to get my nails, buy clothes and also pay for my car. I never stole his card though. He would always give it to me on the weekends to go to the grocery store and buy booze if we were having people over. He makes a lot more money they I do so he never had an issue with it. He also gave me his PIN and trusted me. I honestly did not spend a lot but once he found out he kicked me out. At first I was so sad and still am but I now know what i did was beyond awful and a breach of trust. He did the right thing and I dont know if I will ever be able to forgive myself. He told me that he cares and loves me but If i truly care for him I will give him space and he will reach out when ready. I have no contacted him since then. I want to everyday but I know if I do then I am showing him I do not care about how he feels. He told his parents we are broken up but did not tell them what I did. I am very close with them by the way. He still has all of our pics up on social media and so do I and his parents. I was too ashamed to tell him I was falling behind on my car and embarrassed and thought he wouldn't want to be with me if he found out. I want to pay him back but he says its not about the money it is the trust. His good friend told me after a month to take him to dinner and show him everything I have accomplished (saving money and working on myself). He has handled this entire thing so classy because he could have told everyone what I did or told me to never reach out to him or that we are done forever but he didn't. I know you dont know me or him or us but I want to know what you think. We have never had any huge fights like this before or broken up. We are happy and have so much chemistry together. We both cried when I had to get my stuff and move back into my dads. I know it was very tough for him. Hes such a genuine, good guy that I dont want to lose him or his family. I hope what I did can be forgiven. Any insight or advice would be greatly appreciated. I have already been following the no contact rule. Just want to know how to win him back and show him I have changed because I really have been working on myself.
Omg I’ve been doing everything the wrong way. I moved out of m bf’s after we got in big argument cause I got home from work late. When I was actually at my therapist office asking for advice how to communicate better with my ex. Long story short, he got mad cause I deleted text messages that day. Ever since moving out he has “trust issue” so it’s been up and down. This is the longest we’ve gone without communicating or hanging out. I feel like he feels he has me so secure. I also have the messages he got so mad that i deleted i tried to show them to him but he won’t see them, I think he knows he over reacted and doesn’t want to see he was wrong. Sometimes i feel like just sending him the messages.. should i?

Throughout the month of March, my other co-workers started to bring their friendship to my attention (which didn’t help my feeling of jealousy). It even went so far as our boss (and friend) pulling him into his office to tell him that it was not ok how much of his free time he was spending with this girl and how bad it looked. In my ex’s eyes, this just made it worse. It is like when you tell a kid not to eat a piece of candy, all they want to do is to then eat the piece of candy. Now, I am not the kind of girl to tell someone who they can and cannot be friends with. But when that person is a good looking single girl who follows you around like a puppy dog and showers you with attention. Yes, that is going to bother me. Especially when she does it in front of you. And yes, it is hard to hold the jealousy back sometimes. He could see that I was uncomfortable. But really, he shouldn’t have put me in the situations in the first place. And still, he made me feel as though it was my fault that I was having these feelings…

You have spent a month not contacting your ex. You spent that entire time working on yourself becoming more and more confident as the days past. Everything seemed to be going fine until you hit your first road block with a negative response. Make no mistake about it, negative responses are never good. However, they don’t EVER mean that you should give up right away. It just means you have to be smarter about how you approach things. Lets take a look at a negative response example (from my past) this is a true story.
HI Sara…sorry for your pain. You will benefit by picking up a copy of my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro. (go to website Menu/products link). It is very comprehensive and can cover so much more helpful information that I can here in this forum. At a minimum, I think you both needs some space and time away from each other to work on things and let the emotions subside. The key is your own self recovery and you will learn more about that and why its so important. So go take a look at some of the resources here on my site!
Dear Lauren, My ex broke up with me about 3 weeks ago and I just started no contact about a week ago. We were dating over 3 years. I have a college class with her and ironically sit next to her. How do I continue no contact when I see her everyday? The night before she decided to move out she told me she wanted us. The next night she went out after work and told me we were done, and she never came home. We had been living together for over a year now and finally moved into our own place. I'm pretty sure she slept with a guy she had been casually seeing from work the night before she never came home. I know she slept with him and I know we are over but I was her only sexual partner ever. How do I get her to see the good times we had and miss me? I really want her back and think we can be stronger than ever. ...

You are always going to come up with some reason why you have to contact him. You saw sneakers he would love on sale, you saw a meme he would find hilarious, it’s his birthday, it’s his dog’s birthday, you really want to update him on your crazy co-worker and the latest installment of her shenanigans, and on and on. But you must resist! Recognize what’s really happening, there is nothing urgent you need to tell him, you just want to talk to him because you miss him. But remember reaching out at this stage will not bring him back into your life.


As he saw the impact of his new listening skills Peter all the more conscientiously dug into learning all he could from his relationship skills book, workbook and online program.  He realized that prior to the relationship breakup he had had no idea of what a high-skilled activity sustaining a loving partnership was.  Now that he understood the potency of collaborative dialogue, conflict resolution and emotional self-regulation skills he studied intensely every night as if he was preparing for exams.
You will be in such an emotional mess that one minute you will be begging him to take you back and the next minute you will be acting all nasty and cold all at the same time. This is all natural. This is why the No Contact Rule is very important because if you want me to help you getting your ex boyfriend back, you must first control these instincts. Acting clingy and desperate is just as bad as acting cold and aloof and definitely not nasty.
I still obsess (2 months) about the relationship. I miss being a part of a family, I miss having dinner with him, the sex was mindblowing, sleeping next to him, the lazy weekends and the busy doing things together weekends, waiting for him to come home from work, I miss “our” home, his daughters, his family, Sunday afternoon cookouts at his moms…. I still have the most horrible days when I believe it was all my fault and I was just not good enough and will never be good enough for anyone. I let him do that to me. And yes, I sometimes want that back, him back… Yet, somehow I know that, eventually I will be ok, better than ever. Wish it would get here faster!
HI Kim…thanks for stopping by. As I talk about in my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro, this whole focus on No Contact is just about getting him back, but its also very much about doing things for yourself in a realistic and pragmatic way so if it doesn’t work out, then you path into the future can (and will) be fulfilling. Be careful about reading too much into what guys say during and after a breakup. He may very well not know his feelings that well. He might think he does, but time has a way of telling us the truth about our relationships. To optimize your chances, take a look at some of the ebooks I have written which you can find on my website Menu/products link. Let me know how things go for you Kim!

Black Magic To Get Ex Back

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