I didn’t react well initially. I broke every rule. But after a couple days of it, I pulled myself together Accepted our fate. After his therapy he said it went well and has a lot to work on but he thinks after the session it’s best if we don’t communicate for a while. I finally went against the instinct to cry and such and I said “absolutely. Take care of yourself. Bye.” Then I blocked him. Someone told me not to because it shows I care but I had to so I’m not constantly wondering if he’s going to text or call or if I will. I want to make sure it’s cut. He initiated it yesterday (which sucks for me, does that decrease my chances of success?) initially i said we shouldn’t talk then we did and now I am going to keep my no contact. I won’t contact him. I’m going to do something this weekend, I’m also going to start Pilates. I’m going to focus all my energy on being the most independent happy sexy person. I want to love myself so much that he sees how much self love and growth and wants me back. Not even that I want to take him back after this trauma. I just don’t know if it will work. He still has my things and I asked for them back initially but he seemed to divert it. I’m not going to ask again and I’m going to abstain from social media. I just want to know the likely hood of this kind of circumstance and success especially when nothing specifically went wrong.
My girlfriend of almost a year broke up with me this week. I told her that I didn't want it but if that's what she wanted then she should go ahead. She wanted me to break up with her but I didn't want to because obviously, I want to be with her. We've been fighting for as long as I could remember. I know for sure that it's a trust issue and pretty sure this also lead to her losing respect for me. This isn't the first time we broke up so prior to this website, I've read multiple ones concerning how to get my ex back in the course of at least 5-6 months already. So I did what I know best right away and that's to not contact her. Her last message to me was that I should text her if I want to see her and talk in person. It's her offering me a closure conversation. As of now, I'm blocked from social media including Facebook messenger. I was needy in the relationship, I would always cry and beg. I would do everything for her and let her walk all over me. She would say the meanest things without a pause and I would just openly accept them because I blame myself for everything that's wrong in the relationship. She would start fights and always bring up past mistakes. I wasn't a bum in the relationship. I gave her all the attention that I could give, I put in effort and partly I think I've given too much and I was always available and thus lessening my value to her. I want to get her back. Please help. I'm hopeful to having another start with her but if I try everything and it doesn't work. I would gladly accept the break-up and happily move on. Thank you!

I met a guy on a dating app and we hit it off right away, the first date we kissed and had a ton in common which is so rare for me. Things moved quickly from there and we were seeing eachother one a regular basis (2-3 times a week), texting daily and I stayed at his place every weekend. He planned great dates and would regularly follow up to make plans. Although on one hand I started to really fall for him, I did have some concerns about his communication. When I asked questions about his past, he was very vague about his previous relationships and closed off to discussing them. He also seemed not very experienced with dating/sex which I didn't mind. He told me he had not had a girl friend in high school or university and had been single for 5 years (so most of his life he has been single). That is the most I got out of him.
Currently in No contact now with my Long Distance Ex Girlfriend of 3 amazing months (was going to fly out next months to see her for 3 months, before we broke up), went through August in a "Pause" (Her idea) was limited contact during August and asked her beginning of September what was going on... she said Nothing was going on! and said she doesn't have time for a relationship, she wouldn't take my calls either! Our Relationship went sour after she snapped at me beginning of August after I woke her up (she has a bad heart and he not sleeping and with her stress at work she ended up in hospital that weekend, she blames me for trying to kill her)... That weekend was just horrendous on her and me... She hasn't been the same again and said then that our relationship wouldn't be the same... her best friends told her to break up with me, she said no because she still loves me... but she kept me on a string for a month before completely breaking up beginning of September.. I've been in No Contact for 13 days now... Started Running again, focusing on my work and planning an overseas trip... She also watches my Instagram stories as well... and out of curiosity I just looked and saw she goes online on Facebook when I post something... so she's definitely watching me... Not sure what that means... I know shes stressing... I'm ending No Contact on the 26th September... might extend passed the 10th October (Her Birthday)... I love her more than anything and she's an incredible woman, we just click... BUT... towards the end of July beginning August things went sideways... I have a feeling (at least I hope) she still loves me... But focusing my energies on other things and working on myself as you awesome guys have said! I want to marry this girl... but I understand things will take time... she has been posting depressing posts on social media as of late though. Any advice would be great.

I and my ex girlfriend had dated for 2 years, I was her first boyfriend. We were in a long distance relationship, we were happy together before we departed to different universities, we were so much in love but as time goes on she started behaving strangely and I suspected she's seeing someone else, I tried asking her but she said she's not seeing anyone else. I started feeling insecure with me, I lost trust because I became suspicious because of her behavior lately, I became desperate to know what's happening and it seems I forced her to say this " she told me over the phone that she's no longer interested in the relationship" I tried stopping her but she insisted I begged and apologized but she said she want us to be apart. from that day I investigated that she has someone else in the university there and the guy she's with now is the same guy I suspected she told me that's his just a close friend. I love her and I want her back I don't know what to do.
When she contacted him, her ex was very excited. This time, he asked to meet up. When they did finally meet up, Mindy was a little bit disappointed in him. He was still the same person. She felt that he was manipulative and controlling. He wanted to keep her as a backup while fooling around with other girls. The second date confirmed her feelings when he told her that he loves her but doesn’t want to commit yet. She found out from her friends that he was dating a couple other girls as well.
Love this! I read your blog like it’s a bible for overcoming the bad break ups. I’m so addicted and I like that it’s enabling me to transfer my addiction from my ex. Just today, an old co worker of mine, we use to flirt a lot back in my previous job had called me not too long ago. I’m wondering if I should respond to his calls and texts. I have been avoiding him for the longest because well, I already know it will only be based on sex. Not sure if I want to indulge in that as I am still very vulnerable since the unofficial break up with my ex. However, I do want to show my ex if I could that I’m no longer crazy and doesn’t need them. So I might want to give this old flame a try. Maybe just casually date. Idfk. Lol. All I know is that I want my ex to see me happy!!!!! So far no contact for about to be a month. But my ex will not know if I’m happy or not being that I’m not on social media like that and plus they unfollowed me and we don’t have mutual friends. So how would my ex know if I’m happy without an “us”? The only glue is my access to their Netflix account which I have been using and now I’m realizing I shouldn’t even use that! My ex will probably view my activity and sees that I have not let go and still need them..even for stupid Netflix. So no more Netflix. I might want to delete the profile that my ex set up for me, but deleting it might give a reaction. Idk what to do.
Hey Chris! My boyfriend of 3 years recently broke up with me – one week ago, I have followed the no contact rule (surprisingly, I hadn’t read anything on it yet!). He ended the relationship out of the blue, we sometimes fought but it never seemed relationship ending bad (really it was petty things). He said he still loved me, otherwise breaking up wouldn’t hurt so bad. He had come late at night to tell me, we both sobbed, and I asked him to leave. The next day he came to take our cat for a spay, I went with him to drop her off and we went for a walk. I suggested a break instead, because he said he had been feeling a lot of emotions and initially taking all the blame. I expressed my side and apologized for my faults. It ended well and he even agreed to a break starting in may and lasting until June. I offered a mini date night for the day before may just to have a good time and start the break on a happy note. We went to dinner and had a good time, it was a little awkward but we stayed away from talking about the negative aspects of our struggles. I had picked him up so when I dropped him off he said he was sorry but he didn’t want a break, he wanted to breakup. He needed time to heal (from what I still wasn’t entirely sure of), and he needed “space”. Looking back the breakup was very cliche “it’s me not you” ( he said he was sorry for not communicating better and that I deserved someone who could give me what I want) but after I opened up and took responsibility for my actions, he suddenly put the blame on me! Him and my mom were close and after the breakup he confided in her and brought back issues I had never heard of FROM 6 MONTHS AGO! I have been devastated…. he did something similar( ghosted) with his last girlfriend, actually he moved to California and broke up with her over the phone after he was already gone). We had made plans to get married, we have the same career goals, he even gave me a rather expensive promise ring. I’m very lost with how to approach him after our 30 day no contact. P.S. I am very close with his family and vice versa (I even work with his sister!)…. I do plan to get your guide, but what advice can you give me for some insight into his mind, and whether our relationship has a chance of being saved?

I so wanna do this nc thing but when i do say 2 days, he will text me little questions like “do you remember where i put my …” And i have never never ignored him at all. Yes he has signs of a narcissist. And he comes from a broken family. We worked at the same place and thats hard for me. You know people would talk and all. I have been laughed at for being the provider. From money to time to chauffeuring him. And that hurts because i did all that in the name of love. But he didn’t appreciate me. In fact he treats me like kids treating a mom. No calls the whole day, busy with everyone. Only finds me when he needs something. He cheats on me too.

I would like to share a comment with the dr. I experienced the separate therapist scenario and you are correct. the outcome is most certain to be divorce as was mine. Also in response to Alice. I read the book the verbally abusive relationship and although some people are prone to abuse, the author, in my opinion does not share or give any inspiration as does Susan. The author empowers women who need validation to end a relationship without having to do any work or communicate with there partner how verbal abuse may be affecting them. It's an incurable disease according to the author, and a very easy way out of a relationship, as well as a way to exonerate oneself from any and or even partial responsibility for divorce. I guess what's most important is verbal abuse is prevalent and can do serious harm to ones self esteem. it's not a death sentence and once it's brought to light, talked about and understood, can make a relationship stronger. If two people want to be together! Most times once a diagnosis is reached by an unhappy spouse, it's over and this book, as I said before, is the validation needed because once you determine you have been verbally abused your free to go and take no responsibility as the Author points out it's the fault of the abuser who has a death sentence and there fore you must get away.

Get Ex Back Youtube


Plus, it gives you the time to get past the initial unbearable phase of missing him and into a more even-tempered, secure mentality. Instead of trying to figure out signs your ex still loves you, you’ll be working on yourself and getting yourself into a better mindset. It gives you the space to say, “I don’t need him to be happy – I can be happy all on my own”.

Don't make the same mistakes. Remember that reflection period after your break up? Well, it should come in handy now. When you're with your boyfriend again, remind yourself of what went wrong and try to prevent it from happening. If the problem was that you fought too much, then remind yourself to calm down when you have the urge to pick a fight. If your problem was that you were mean to his friends, try to be nicer, this time -- your man should be worth it.
I know you feel hurt and you probably feel worthless right now because feel like your ex doesn’t want you. You are eager to feel loved and hopefully ‘My ex will know that I’m in another relationship and my ex will feel jealous, and will beg to come back.’ STOP. That’s not self-love. That’s called my-ex-is-still-the-center-of-my-universe. Everything you do is because you want to get your ex back. But actually, everything you do from now on, should be focused on yourself. 
My ex girlfriend and I broke up about 6 weeks ago. From there all I had done was being needy and desperate. She would block me and unblock me and all I did was just like a fool was just beg and plead. Honestly I've understood the reason of the break up and I've accepted it and I understand how much I messed up... especially since I was sending her a message that I couldn't change. If you must know I am very confident and I know I can get her back if I do things correctly. We haven't talked in 2 weeks. and since then I've been working on myself and taking my time to understand my mistakes so i could learn from them. I know that she blocked me because i pressured her in such a bad way that led her to that choice and I know understand all my mistakes. I'm a very confident guy know but my question is how should I approach her. I really cannot connect her because she fully blocked me and i don't know if she wants to talk to me because i don't know wether she wants that or not. Now for the past few days she's been looking kind of sad since we haven't talked and she's been kind of starring at me and she also started to follow me ( trying to get my attention in a way) but also she's been trying to act like if she's the one in control and she doesn't really get affected so that kind of leads me to ask you guys What should I do at this point and also why is she trying to get my attention if she acts all so tough like if she's holding all the cards?
I have been wondering how to make him love me again, realise he made a mistake and give a second chance. It is even harder as he is in another country. Plus, I really don’t think the NC rule would work on him, because I have been the one who asks question in our relationship, who kept the conversation going when we lived apart for a few weeks. I believe if i implement it now, it will just give him the opportunity to move on, to forget me, because he has a lot going on otherwise (studies, friends, handball, parties…). Did i also ruin my chances by begging for it so much?

Get Ex Back Jealous


Another year goes by. It was summer and I was having the time of my life. I decided to take a break from dating and focus on myself. Then I ran into him in Central Park on a Saturday afternoon. At last, he was single and I was single, we were both living in NYC, now was the time. But he didn’t contact me after that. So I decided to contact him. I sent him a friendly message on Facebook and opened the door wide for him to ask me out… but he didn’t take my expertly laid out bait.
Right now, give him the space he has requested for and spend this time doing what his friend had advised (working on yourself and making changes to your life). You can't control the timing on when he reaches out to you, but the least you could do is show him that you're sincere about making it up to him and have made efforts in taking the first step forward. He may not forgive you entirely, but at least he knows you're sincere about fixing things and may decide to give things another shot.
Thank You! Literally, as soon as I posted this he texted me! Crazy. It was just small talk. He said "Hows life" We've only not talked for 2 weeks. smh So nothing has changed for me lol. Nice to know he's doing well. Im going to read your articles/emails each day and hope I can get my baby again. This time in a new relationship even better than the last and permanently! Thank you for your words. That seems to be what im continuing to receive "Do what you want and makes you happy!" and you're right, Egos are toxic. Im learning so much about myself during this process and it's almost exciting. I still have my sad moments in those feelings of the absence of him but yoga, meditation, reading and focusing on my certification has helped! Im rambling, but im thankful there are positive people out there to discuss exes. They're not all bad, we're all human. Thank you so much!

And after that again in 5th month i brought this love topic and he said not looking for anything serious. And after that for 1 week i didn’t use to chat with him and use to reply for his good morning and good night messages that’s it apart from did not chatted and on one day he pinged me and said you became normal and sorry for the cause.and that night he shared his party pictures.And next two days we chatted just normal and after that one day both did not chatted and next day he greeted with good morning and good night messages and after that for 2 days i didn’t replied to him. And next day i replied and he said was wondering why i was not replied to him. And after that he was normal behaved as if he has lost interest in me.
The relationship is going really well in the beginning. You are seeing each other often and enjoy one another. You begin to prioritize him over other things going on in your life, like hobbies or nights out with friends. You tell yourself you are comfortable and don’t need to be “out there.” Everything is just the way you like it until… for some reason, you feel him pulling away.
Negative responses do not feel good at all. It really sucks and can feel like the end of the world especially if you put a lot of work into getting your ex boyfriend back. Your best bet in these situations is to simply not respond at all and understand that your ex is still processing their emotions. It doesn’t necessarily mean that all hope is lost it just means you may need to be more patient and try again in a week or so.
I’m sure that you’ve heard the saying the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence quite a few times before. It is very very relevant to love and relationships as well. After being with someone for a long time it is easy to be tempted by something new or to get bored! Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you can easily find someone better!
Tell her in person. Set a time to meet in a public place, or a place that you know she'll feel comfortable in. When the time is right, say: "I know I made some mistakes during our relationship, and I wanted to take full responsibility for those. I shouldn't have done [whatever it is you did] to you, and I feel horrible now. But the biggest mistake I made was losing you. I don't expect anything from you, I just want you to know that."
Ouch, I know this one must definitely sting to hear but it is a legitimate REAL reason for why he may have broken up with you. This is a common complaint among men who are dating someone who let themselves go a little bit in the relationship. You may have to put in some extra work here but trust me when I say that your physical appearance is easier to improve than your personality so don’t let his thoughts get to you.

Law Of Attraction To Get Ex Boyfriend Back


If you are still sure you want him back after your time reflecting, the next step will be to find out if he still has any feelings for you at all and whether there may be a chance of the two of you rekindling the flame of love. This step is crucial, so if you haven’t done so already, take the simple test now to find out if he secretly still wants you back.

A Letter To My Ex Boyfriend To Get Him Back


HW (Helen), I'm so happy to hear those books and resources were helpful to you in a difficult time. I'd have to know more about the relationship to give you a more confident answer but if you feel like there was a big enough bond between you in the first place, then you could always try sending this letter. Worst case scenario, he doesn't respond and you've got a clear answer so that you can move on. Hope this helped!
Hi, my girlfriend of 3 months finally came over to my home to find out I live with my Mom. She never knew this before. She brought a bottle over, so she clearly wanted to finally have sex with me. We went to a restaurant instead because I told her my Mom is sick and I take care of her. At the restaurant, I was talking to her about log term commitment and marriage possibly. She was recently divorced with kids. I notice she never invites me to functions with her kids. We normally do stuff together with just the 2 of us. She is kind of defiant and rebellious just for the record. So, I get this text 3 days later after she comes over about wanting to break up with me because I want a long term relationship and she wants friends with benefits. I told her I was cool with friends w/ benefits too but she insists on the break up. She has a history of making excuses when she doesn't want to go to an event via text, so I don't know if the marriage questions caused the break up or was it really the mom situation/ her wanting sex. Your thoughts, what should I do to get her back??? How do I know if ever which it was?
1. It stops the damage. If you respond with calm and poise when your ex breaks up with you, you let the relationship stand on its own instead of giving the response to the break up a featured status. And your odds of an ex coming back to you with the relationship itself being what is judged is much higher than the final experience with you being your fit.
When any man cheats it doesn’t mean he finds someone prettier than you instead it means he found interest and admiration from new girl that you once showed to him. Your boyfriend wants to get admired for what he currently is and also he wants to get respect from you. It doesn’t mean you disrespect him instead it means you failed to show him respect that he wants from you.
It seems that he is emotionally immature at this stage and is acting upon his emotions at that point which has caused him to switch between the two of you over and over. The fact that both parties have been readily available for him whenever he feels like this only serves to strengthen his thought that he is able to come back whenever he wants to. I would suggest actually limiting all contact with him and and properly going through no contact this time around so that the 'idea' that he isn't always going to get his way may hit him and that he starts to think clearer on who he actually has feelings for.
There were a few problems in the past. He’s very sensitive and when he gets stressed he can’t handle much emotion. Because of this, he “broke up” with me in the past. It wasn’t really a break up, he kind of just stopped talking to me. It only took one or two days for him to reach out. He said that he was so sorry and that he was so devastated when he didn’t talk to me. He said that he couldn’t see himself with anyone else and the “break up” made him sick. I thought that this time was going to be like those in the past but after a few days he was still being cold. It’s been about two and a half weeks now since he broke up with me and a week since the last time we talked.

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Remember; do not talk about the relationship during this date. Just talk about the things going on in your life and ask them about their life. And you actually have to have something going on in your life to talk about. You cannot tell them how you spend all night yesterday watching reruns of Jersey Shore in your bed. This is another reason why completing Step 2 is so important. 
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