So, my boyfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago. Everything starts with this fight we have and then he starts to ignoring me. Of course I freak out and I tried to talk to him and bla bla bla but he didn't want to see me. And that's it. He gave me no explanation.. I've been in No Contact Rule since then but I'm really confused and sad about this. We had a great relationship and I really didn't want to give it up. What should I do?

Out of the blue he just stopped talking to me. We go to the same school and there we usually talk but one day he started avoiding me and stopped texting me, too. A couple days later I found him before school and tried to ask him what was going on. He didn’t really answer. When I asked him if he still wanted to be together, all he did was shrugged. I was very upset at his response and just walked away.


Hi Adirubbo, this is actually a really common frustration for women in the dating scene (a guy giving you his number and acting more passive rather than pursuing) and I'm working on an ebook/video training to help with this exact issue. But to give you a quick answer now, you did great. You let him know what kind of dates you liked going on and then he became more confident in how to please you, that's when he started taking charge. The more confident a man feels that he can make you happy, the more take charge he'll become. The trick for a woman is always: "How can I be pro-actively receptive in this dynamic?" Keep looking for those opportunities and you'll be fine. And if you want to learn more about this, make sure you're signed up for email updates. Hope this helped!...

I have a question that I'm struggling to find the answer to. About 2 days into no contact my ex asked me to come by and pick up some of my stuff I left behind at her place. Around 5 days in she found someone had searched for porn websites in the browser search history on her PS3. She accused me and wanted an explanation, though I am certain it wasn't me. I don't watch porn, let alone on my gf's playstation. I didn't reply on both occasions, and haven't heard from her since. I'm coming up on 30 days soon, and I've drafted a couple elephant letters. So my question is: Do I address these false allegations in the letter? Or simply ignore them and address them only if they come up again in the future? I feel like both options have potential pros and cons, so I need a deciding factor. Thanks :)
Considering the total length you've been together, you're going to need to give her quite a bit of distance to let her do whatever she feels she needs to do at this point, especially if you were her first love and she may potentially be going through a mid-life crisis. Under these circumstances, the greater you push, the more she'll resent you because if she feels this strongly about wanting her independence, she'll feel just as strongly against anyone who interferes with it.

Who To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back


Ouch, I know this one must definitely sting to hear but it is a legitimate REAL reason for why he may have broken up with you. This is a common complaint among men who are dating someone who let themselves go a little bit in the relationship. You may have to put in some extra work here but trust me when I say that your physical appearance is easier to improve than your personality so don’t let his thoughts get to you.
Well i’m basically after the no contact period and im texting my ex again. We shared a lot so i texted him about this show we both were watching and he relief. Since then we arenie taking but i’m the one initiating the contact (he sent me a funny video obce but that’s nothing i suppose). He told me that’s he doesnt see a future with me because i smoke and that Im too proud and irresponsible. We are both 20. So i texted him about talking and playing some video game to which he responded positively but at the same time he called his and mine friends on discord and asked then to Play with us. I was really friendly and I laughed a lot. We texted a bit and then conversation ended. We are going to a party with mutual friends on 2nd and I fear that he may be over me. I just dont know what to sat to him to make him rethink this and show him that I’ve changed. I quit smoking, i got less proud and I think I van make him happy. We shared a lot and he really was my second half and also the jest friend Ive ever had. I do love him and i care for him but i dont know excactly how to convince him that we can solve this out.
I would add one additional observation, backed up by research findings. When couples have strong skills for talking cooperatively over differences, they find collaborative solutions to "those annoyng little ticks." Often the solution comes just from more understanding of each other; sometimes small changes that each are glad to make also help enormously.
Hi Chris – My boyfriend (well now ex boyfriend) of 2 years just broke up with me a week ago. He is 33, I am 25. We met on the mountain, ski coaching to be exact. He does it full time (Tuesdays – Sundays) while I only do it part time along with my full time job (November – April, 7 days a week). A co-worker of ours set us up. We had been coaching with each other for a couple of years by that point and she could just see that we were perfect for each other. I was a little hesitant at first, I had never dated someone who what that much older than me. But when I was with him, it never seemed weird or like we were at a different point in our lives. The first year was bliss, we were not living with each other at that point so we were constantly looking forward to seeing each other. There was excitement.

My girlfriend of 7 years broke up with me recently. I found your website and read most of it and the links to the other pages. It seems to fit my situation pretty close. I like it! Yes, i want to get her back! She is fantastic! She's had several relationships before me, I had one before her. I thought i was a smart enough and a giving enough BF, I know now I wasn't. She started complaining about things 5 years ago, but she stuck around. She wasn't happy she said, miserable. I argued with her frequently, because I thought I was smarter. She had trust issues with me, that I never fully understood. I gave her endless love and affection as I defined them over the years, even as she was pulling away hoping that would help and it did I suppose since she stuck it out. We had LOTS OF FUN times...I suppose those 2 things are what kept us going. I never took it serious enough though, I know now...and did realize this over the years but other circumstances distracted me all the time. I wasn't wise enough to know better and did little to improve that during the entire relationship. I love her, very much ! I think she loves me..has never said she doesn't. We both have recognized and I believe, still do, a core connection to each other. A true love. She just couldn't take anymore BS I finally realized, she warned me several times it would come and after angry texts from her asking to be left alone, loving to smartass texts back from me (because I thought I knew everything) and emails from me, trying to explain what was right and wrong(because I thought I knew everything)....I finally took seriously she wanted to be left alone. I texted her a very sincere apology and have left her alone. Within her angry texts, were many 'open doors' I felt, still offering something if I would DO something or make an EFFORT. (Wish I would have saw your site sooner) I couldn't see past my emotions and didn't take those offers. Stupidity and lack of relationship experience I feel. Anyway, I like what your website is suggesting, it seems to fit so I'm going to DO something with it and make the EFFORT now. I hope its the DO and EFFORT she wanted. I am worried too as she is VERY SMART and relationship savy she will realize my plan, think it is too orchestrated and vanish forever. This is assuming she'll communicate with me. Thanks in advance if it works!
Hi, I just want to ask for advice. I've been broken up with my ex for over a month now. Fresh from the breakup, we still talled daily and met up at least once a week. During that month, she acknowledged that she still loved me but she still wants to remaon single because she is not in a safe place to give commitment. I, being the clingy dude I was, tried winning her back, even calling her over the phone. She would still answer when I call but is still firm on her decision. Finally last week, she said to me straight up that she had enough of me always bringing up the past and says she doesn't want to talk to me anymore so that I could move on and that I should forget that I stood any chance of getting back together with her. However, she hasn't blocked me on social media and my cellphone number. I'm not so sure how to feel right now, or if there is even a way to save the relationship. She said she broke up with me because I was too clingy, there would be times where we would have an argument because sometime I would see her online and would not give even a hi to me, even though she sais she doesn't really know why we broke up. Anything I can do to save the situation?
Not sure about this stiring of jealousy so to speak. I’ve tried to use a little bit of jealosy for my guy to realise I want him to call me as we haven’t spoken for days and also another time to make us ‘official couple’ and it backfired. As these events were near each other he exploded in once about both accusing me of being unloyal. Though my fault was that I simply sent him a screenshot of a guy (whom I talked to while we were on a break with him) who asked me out and I answered I’ve got back with my boyfriend. I said to my guy I was rejecting others while I didn’t even received responce from him. He got even more quiet and few days later after finally asking him was he angry about something he pushed me away saying he didn’t think it would work with me as I was chatting to others. He’s been hurt by an ex gf and is pretty much on the lookout for clues about unloyalty. Maybe for guys who are not that jealous yeah but I wouldn’t use this method any more!
There is usually an underlying reason for his sudden change in his behavior. It's something you may have to figure out if you want to win him back, and if it's something that can be resolved or not. Often, it may be a sudden incident or stress in a person's life that causes them to act this way. There's also a chance that a third party may have been involved, as these are among the common reasons for someone to break up with their partners.
My boyfriend broke up with me in June and we got back together in July. One day we went out for lunch and for some reason I got mad at him and said some mean things. And he broke up with me again. He said he wants his space and he is in frustration because he is not getting his degree. So we decided to take a break for 6 months. I help him with the paper things for his college so we at least see each other once a week. I know he loves me but I really don’t need a break. Please advice me how do I get him back? I feel like we are soulmates and just can’t think of being with other man. We are really strong emotionally and physically attracte but something went wrong in our relationship that we can’t figure it out. Please advise me how to get him back
Many women have quite simple and somewhat boring lives, so she might struggle to relate to you with your travel-filled lifestyle, amazing car or massive house that you told her about (for example). And if she struggles to relate to you because she sees you as WAY better than her, she will go cold and initiate the no contact rule on you. “He’s out of my league.” Then she initiates a breakup.
im doing the same thing you’ll do now your not alone i know it hurts but that what u should do, let him lose you and thinks hes a failure dont allow him to think he can play with your feelings, your not his toy if he cant decide what he wants then leave him to grom up and make decisions in life, hes immature and you did the right thing your so smart of going no contact and standing on what you want bravo, now do not let him take advantage and decide what he wants do what you want, you want him as a bf he didnt respect that he wants friends you dont so bye to him and lifes always comes around believe me one day he’ll come begging to have you back.

When You Want To Get Back With Your Ex


I recently dated someone who seemed to love and accept me more than anyone ever had before. He was unbelievably caring and always looked after me. He was almost over the top in his affection and seemed to wanna get serious very fast. He continued being very affectionate for the entire relationship but I noticed in the last few weeks he was making less and less time for me and started having occasional cranky moments where he seemed judgemental or said he felt pushed into things. 

Sometimes, relationships turn sour and we break up. It is normal. If you can’t stop thinking about your ex-boyfriend and you think you still have a shot with him, this article will help you get him back. The following tips will make it easier for you to handle the breakup and get him back in love with you. Analyze the situation well and determine if you still have feelings for your ex-boyfriend. If you still do, follow everything written in this article and you could get him back.
If you feel that he is unable to give you the attention you need, perhaps it would be better to focus on moving on as he may not be right for you. However, if this is a temporary phase and you think that it would get better, then maybe giving both parties a break right now by doing no contact would be good since it allows for some breathing room and for him to focus on what he needs to do right now, while you figure out whether his lack of attention towards you is something you're able to accept.

Get An Ex Back Who Has Moved On


It may not be possible at the start, especially when the breakup was recent and memories of the relationship are still filled in both party's heads. He could be contacting because he misses you to a certain extent but is conflicted and distracted by his new relationship, resulting in him acting this way towards you. Depending on how recent, I would suggest going into NC for now to give each other some space first.

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Interested In You Again


If you want your relationship to get back on track, then you need to be humble and accepting what happened. You can’t get your ex boyfriend back by pointing fingers at him. You have to be humble throughout the whole discussion as this is the best approach to tackle this situation, and it will make your ex comfortable with you which will mend broken hearts.
You also need to avoid displaying your vulnerability in the form of begging, pleading or bargaining your way back into your ex-boyfriend’s heart. You can’t guilt-trip him into giving you a second chance at your romance. A desperate ex-girlfriend isn’t attractive to anyone, least of all your ex-boyfriend. Guys simply don’t like emotional reactions to things, and they’ll want to keep their distance from you as much as possible. This clearly isn’t going to help you win back his heart if he’s keeping you at arm’s length. 

Hi Lauren, I have a question that is related in a big way, but not too related in others. You mentioned the concept of men doing the pursuing and women doing the recieving. I'm on my 4th Mars Venus book - Mars and Venus on a Date - and I noticed that this is a huge theme in the book. So my question is: What do you do if a guy gives you his number and says "call/text me"? When I first met my ex, I felt like I was pursuing him a bit because this is the way he approached me. We met working on a project, but to build off of our newfound friendship I attempted to flirt and create the opportunity for him to pursue me. We dated for about a year and I thought he could have been the one - until recently when we hit a wall in communicating that I felt I had to end it (since then I've been educating myself through therapy and Mars Venus books!). But, while at the time I never questioned the success/failure in me doing some reaching out, looking back now I'm wondering if that's something I could have done differently? The problem is, I wouldn't know how! It's a tricky situation. What happened was, like I said, he gave me his number (without me asking for it) and said to contact him. So I did and it went well! Then for our first date, from what I remember, I suggested that it would be nice to get to know eachother more. He told me to let him know when I wanted to go out. I pushed back this time and insisted that he should be the one asking me out, but he refused. To refrain from more back and forth, I planned the date. After that he became much more assertive and started asking me out and presenting me with ideas. But I'll be honest, I was a little turned off at his insecurity at first. He later told me he wanted to ask me out but was just very nervous, so I decided not to dwell on it and just appreciate that it worked out despite how it happened. But because I didn't want to do the pursuing, how would I have gotten him to do it?
Omg I’ve been doing everything the wrong way. I moved out of m bf’s after we got in big argument cause I got home from work late. When I was actually at my therapist office asking for advice how to communicate better with my ex. Long story short, he got mad cause I deleted text messages that day. Ever since moving out he has “trust issue” so it’s been up and down. This is the longest we’ve gone without communicating or hanging out. I feel like he feels he has me so secure. I also have the messages he got so mad that i deleted i tried to show them to him but he won’t see them, I think he knows he over reacted and doesn’t want to see he was wrong. Sometimes i feel like just sending him the messages.. should i?
We've been together for 4 years and then he purposed me. So we've in this relationship for 5 years, and were engaged. Im 28 and he is 30. I live at my mothers house and he lives with his. It was right after my father has passed away. He went to ask my father for my hand, actually. It feels like he really did love me, and tried his best. But I was to stubborn, critical and basically was pretty depressed with my whole life. We started to look for places to get married and planning the wedding, but it was too hard cuz we were not financially stable... Eventually we gave up and stopped looking for places for the wedding and doing the planning because 2 of us were too busy. I was really struggling having my life crisises, and he tried to support me, but we were always fighting. It led to many frustrations, lots of argues and comunication problems. After I started a new job I had no time to go sleep over at his place, and my cat was pregnant. I had no time for anything and was in a huge stress and depression. We became pretty distant and barely met. He tried to support me as much as he could, but I was very frustrated all the time, and we fought.
If you feel that he is unable to give you the attention you need, perhaps it would be better to focus on moving on as he may not be right for you. However, if this is a temporary phase and you think that it would get better, then maybe giving both parties a break right now by doing no contact would be good since it allows for some breathing room and for him to focus on what he needs to do right now, while you figure out whether his lack of attention towards you is something you're able to accept.
So when I hear someone tell me “I want my ex back because they are the most amazing person in the world and quite possibly my soul mate” I always remind those people that they are pretty amazing too! If your ex fell for you, if you were able to inspire and seduce them the first time around, it means that you have tons of qualities to offer as well.
Over the past 4 months, we’ve hung out every weekend, although I’m always the one to initiate communication and making plans. When we’re together, the intimacy is there and It’s like we’re a couple again. He never texts or calls- unless he’s replying to my texts and he takes hours or days to respond. I feel if I never contacted him, I’d never her from him again and it’s strange because he doesn’t seem to have an issue making plans to hang out and stick with them in advance.
So far, so good? Great. Suggest a casual date by phone. No texts. No emails. Let her hear your voice and register some sincere effort on your part. “See if she’d like to join you at an art gallery opening, see a movie, or a hike on a sunny day,” says Spira. “It will give you the chance to get together in a relaxed environment, without too much pressure.” But remember, accepting your invite is just that—and not a sure sign she wants to get back together. If she turns you down, give her space. “Don’t beg, cry, or stalk her,” Spira says. “If it’s meant to be, she’ll come around on her own time-table.”

Definitely focus on improving yourself first before trying to win her back again. However, since you've been together only for a month there may be a possibility that she would move on so you'll have to prepare for that. Use this as a learning curve on where you're lacking and work on improving yourself, and if you want to win her back after, you should treat it as if you were chasing her for the first time.
SIDE NOTE: You may feel as if I am really grilling your approach to relationships here, but as I said, there’s a positive purpose to it. You need to see what went wrong first so that when you apply my how to win your ex back steps, you won’t be sabotaging the effectiveness of those steps by behaving in the ways that got you dumped in the first place.

Spell To Get Ex Boyfriend Back


My ex girlfriend and I broke up about 6 weeks ago. From there all I had done was being needy and desperate. She would block me and unblock me and all I did was just like a fool was just beg and plead. Honestly I've understood the reason of the break up and I've accepted it and I understand how much I messed up... especially since I was sending her a message that I couldn't change. If you must know I am very confident and I know I can get her back if I do things correctly. We haven't talked in 2 weeks. and since then I've been working on myself and taking my time to understand my mistakes so i could learn from them. I know that she blocked me because i pressured her in such a bad way that led her to that choice and I know understand all my mistakes. I'm a very confident guy know but my question is how should I approach her. I really cannot connect her because she fully blocked me and i don't know if she wants to talk to me because i don't know wether she wants that or not. Now for the past few days she's been looking kind of sad since we haven't talked and she's been kind of starring at me and she also started to follow me ( trying to get my attention in a way) but also she's been trying to act like if she's the one in control and she doesn't really get affected so that kind of leads me to ask you guys What should I do at this point and also why is she trying to get my attention if she acts all so tough like if she's holding all the cards?

HEY. I was dating him for almost 3 years. But after a year he met a girl who became her bff in a very short time. I was very jealous of their bond and dirty jokes etc. I stopped him from talking to her.i stopped him after 2 months of their friendship. But he used to miss her. Then for like rest kf 2 years we fought because he started talking to her without letting me know. I used to check his phone and he would have made other accounts to talk. Each time after getting caught he told me hes sorry. I used to breakup but he used to beg and tell me that he wont talk again. Then i started talking to him again. But the cycle continued. I abused the girl too but she used to say that its my boyfriend going back to her. But my boyfriend tried his best to leave her bff. He loved me a lot. Sometimes i used to do things to make him angry so in order to take revenge he talked to her. We are in the same school even his bff. Shes our junior. But my bf didnt met her in school their talk remained in online chating. But then then there was a group of my bf's friends and my friends. We all were friends but somehoe aur group broke up. We fought and his friends fucked up his mind. He fought with me. Yes i did for somethings which he would get hurt too but he then started meeting that girl. He brokeup with me. And this time he had no regret. He said that i made him do this. He added Snapchat stories to make me jealous. I was about to do suicide after that because i hated that girlll too much. Though the are justt friendss. And i cant do no contact periods because i can onlyy meet him after 3 days. No chance meeting after that.

My ex broke up with me 8 months ago. The reason he broke up with me was because he said I was immature and I didn’t take him seriously. So when he broke up with me we didn’t talk until and like 4 days later I found out he was dating his ex again. So we completely stop talking to each other until one day my parents and I went to his house (my parents and his parents get along very well). He was acting so nice to my parents but he didn’t say a word until I got a message from him and he was apologizing about everything he did and of course I forgave him. So that day we were talking again and when we were talking out of no where he hugged me and that made me get a lot of flash backs of us together. After the hug he kissed me so we kissed and then I asked him what we were and he said whatever I wanted and I said we can try this again if you want. After I left his house we were still talking and I decided to ask him about his ex. He told him he still had feelings for her and I asked why he was with me and he told me because I reminded him of when he and the girl started dating supposedly I was being like her. I got really mad and we broke again. But we still talked cause we ended up being friends. One time when we were talking he told me that he regrets breaking up with me. But the next day he didn’t talk to me again. We lasted for a very long time without talking but I noticed that every time he and the girl broke up he will talk to me. So I got tired of that and didn’t talk to him no more. I decided I needed to move on but it took me along time since I still have really strong feelings for and even when I got a boyfriend I still had feelings for him. Barely this passed Saturday I saw him again. It was so awkward my mom noticed that he was really nervous when he saw me and that he was looking at me. I wanted to cry so bad because I remembered all our dates and every single time we said i love you’s. And I thought I was over him but I’m still not I still love him with all my heart. What can I do to get back with my ex???

Will My Ex And I Get Back Together Tarot Spread


Remember, the no contact rule isn’t about him, it’s about you. You’re not cutting off contact to try to spite him, you’re giving yourself time and space to heal from the breakup. That is the goal. The byproduct is that he will most likely miss you during this time and yearn for you and while he’s doing that, you’re becoming a better and stronger version of yourself!
I actually disagree with this perspective. In general, I think women should absolutely try to be happy and stop torturing themselves about the “what ifs”…but not for other men to be impressed (who gives a sh*t what other people think). Happiness is something a person can work on for themselves. Take this from a person who’s anxious often by nature. (I’ll drink a cup of coffee and the next thing I know I’ll be having a panic attack). I can’t always control how I feel , but I can have control over how I think…and that eventually does influence my moods.
A huge obstacle to getting your ex back is fixating on the relationship, pining for what was lost, and wishing things would be different. Not only is it an obstacle to getting the relationship you want, it is an obstacle to your own sense of peace. Think about it. Most suffering arises from wanting the present moment or present situation to be different than what it is.

Focus On Yourself To Get Ex Back


Make him jealous (optional). This doesn't work for everyone, but if you think that having your ex see you with another guy, or just flirting with a group of guys, will make him want to be around you even more than go for it. This doesn't mean you should get another boyfriend just to make him jealous. Just let him see you flirting, tossing your hair back, or even getting on the dance floor with another guy or two.

How Did You Get Your Ex Back Reddit


You know something is wrong if you are always crying or feeling bad about what has happened and you can quite get over it.  You also know it can be frustrating when you can seem to figure out what to text or what to say to your ex bf.  Well, the solution is you can join my Private Facebook Support Group and/or pick up your copy of the Texting Bible and get the emotional support and answers your need.

If she seems open, and you want to step up for another at-bat, acknowledge your shortcomings. “If you did something hurtful, make a real apology,” Frances says. “It might be wise to see a therapist to clarify what you did and why, and how best to sort of the problem.” Then, no matter what she did, you need to take responsibility for you—and change. If you weren’t willing to extend an effort to get to know her friends before, tell her you’d be game for drinks as a group. (Yeah, that’s right. Swallow your pride.) 

Should I Get Back With My Ex Girlfriend Quiz

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