Start hanging out with him a bit. Start making your relationship a bit more friendly. Move on from the casual hello to a short conversation, and then even stick around and chat with him for ten or even twenty minutes. Make sure you always say goodbye first, though, and don't make him linger longer than he wants to. This will make him even more sad to see you go. Then, wait for him to ask you to grab a coffee, or be bold and ask him for a drink.
"Retrosexual romances" seem to be the hottest hook-up trend out there — courtesy of Facebook and other social networking sites that make it super-easy to reconnect with an old flame. But should you? Diana Kirschner, PhD, author of Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love, shares the deets on whether to dig back into the past, and, if you do, how to work a happy — and sexy — reunion.
Hey hii i am really sorry in advance to be asking this question , hopefully you wont judge me on this : I was dating a guy who is married , we were in living in for 2 years and deeply in love . Some how his wife caught him . He got scared of society and chose her over me . Even after which he had been in connection with me but i feel now he is not responding well to me . Does this theory of no contact implement on such complex situations as well .

Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder—but other times, it causes that heart to seek out another man. Bottom line: Don’t call first. “Try sending a sweet text, not one that will make her think you’re looking for a booty call,” says dating expert Julie Spira. “Think about something that you shared together that might warm her heart.” Example: Was listening to the radio and heard that Coldplay song. Brought back memories of the concert together. Hope you’re doing great. If she responds, she may be open to rekindling the spark. And if she responds with an "Ew, WTF," proceed to step two.
Hello. Things moved very fast for my ex and I. We moved in together after only a couple months and a couple months after that we found out I am pregnant. I am almost five months pregnant and he broke up with me two weeks ago. I moved out and am living with my mom until I can find a place of my own. Initially I begged him to give us another chance and said we could work it out and he said he has enough and that he quit caring. 90% of it was my fault. I was so stressed out and nervous that I was taking it out on him. He started getting more distant and drinking a lot more. How long should I wait to tell him I now realize that most of this was because of me and I’m sorry. I honestly see what I was doing wrong and would like him to know I realize that and want to fix it. Being pregnant just adds even more stress to the situation. I truly do think we could get passed this but he doesn’t want anything to do with me right now..
I was so glad to read an article by you again, instead of the other guys whom you often attach links to, because in my perspective, your wisdom regarding helping women understand beats anyone else’s that I’ve encountered. This article was a great example and I believe 100% that not only are you right in this regard, but that you shared what is probably the very most important of all of the aspects of what men find and don’t find attractive in a woman. You summarized it all very well in this one article that I found to be quite valuable. Thanks so much and please let us hear from you directly more often! :-)
We tried to be friends for 3 weeks because I missed him terribly and I thought it helped me (and him) manage the pain as we text and call all the time, but last weekend, we ended up kissing and making out. I called him to ask him what this means, and if he is standing by his decision to be with the other woman, and he says he has no comment on his decision as he's equally as confused himself.
Plus, it gives you the time to get past the initial unbearable phase of missing him and into a more even-tempered, secure mentality. Instead of trying to figure out signs your ex still loves you, you’ll be working on yourself and getting yourself into a better mindset. It gives you the space to say, “I don’t need him to be happy – I can be happy all on my own”.

Subliminal Messages To Get Ex Back


Develop a playful sense of humor. What do girls say they look for most in guys? A sense of humor and a playful attitude These two traits are attractive because they tell other people that we're youthful and not aggressive. So learn a few jokes if you can (friends are always good to try them out on) and keep the ones that work and throw away the ones that don't. Learn to make fun of yourself a little, in a confident way — not a mopey way. And, for goodness sake, be playful, especially when you're around her. Tease her lovingly, or play a small prank on a friend. You'll notice the difference in her.


It's common that someone continues to love a person even though they're no longer in love. It simply means that the passionate feelings she might have once had for you has started to fade, but it doesn't mean that she's stopped caring about you altogether (which is why she still shows care and concern). I suggest figuring out what went wrong and where she started to lose her spark for you and see if you are able to re-ignite that spark again.
When I brought up not dating anyone else, he said although he had not been he had been thinking about us and was confused about what he wanted. If he wanted to focus on his career only or settle down. We seemed to be on totally different pages, I was only looking to have the security of confirming we were only seeing each other and trying to understand how he felt about me. He assumed I was asking for a serious relationship and said that the honeymoon stage was over and we needed to think about the future. I was only thinking about the present and was still happy getting to know him but needed to know how he felt about me as I felt alone with my feelings that I was expressing with no reciprocation. In the end I told him to take some space and figure out what he wants because I couldn't continue to date someone that didn't know how they felt about me.

I have a question that I'm struggling to find the answer to. About 2 days into no contact my ex asked me to come by and pick up some of my stuff I left behind at her place. Around 5 days in she found someone had searched for porn websites in the browser search history on her PS3. She accused me and wanted an explanation, though I am certain it wasn't me. I don't watch porn, let alone on my gf's playstation. I didn't reply on both occasions, and haven't heard from her since. I'm coming up on 30 days soon, and I've drafted a couple elephant letters. So my question is: Do I address these false allegations in the letter? Or simply ignore them and address them only if they come up again in the future? I feel like both options have potential pros and cons, so I need a deciding factor. Thanks :)
If you try to take your ex head on and force them to change their mind you will probably meet a lot of resistance and never quite get to where you want to go. It’s quite simple it is impossible to force someone to love you; but you can make them fall in love with you if you put the right actions in place and if you are a little bit clever in your approach!
This is such garbage. Look at what you’ve written: you must be tremendously happy being single with all your options open, so you can find a guy to get tied down with which will make you tremendously happy. Forget this obsession with ‘happiness’, it is a magazine-culture poisonous idea. Accept that you will go through misery after a breakup, if you lived them, but that you will heal. Take it from me, many guys cannot stand these ‘perfectly happy’ women, they can smell a rat a mile off and know it’s fake. Guys realise there is pain in life, and that women go through it as much as they do. 

Get Your Ex Back Using Social Media


After my boyfriend of one year broke up with me, I could barely speak without crying. I felt blindsided and didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if I could get him back and the anxiety was unbearable. I booked a call with Coach Lee, not knowing fully what to expect but knowing I needed somebody who had been there before. I wanted our relationship back and so I wanted to make sure I had all the guidance and resources possible to do that. Coach Lee was simply wonderful. His presence is calming and I could tell that he genuinely cared. The things that he suggested I do to get [my boyfriend] back seemed difficult, but Lee warned me that they might be. But I knew I wanted to get him back, so I followed the plan that Coach Lee laid out for me. Within the week, we were back together and we are so in love! I know that it doesn’t always happen that quickly, but Coach Lee said he thought that, in my case, it could happen that soon – and it did! I’m so grateful and can say that if you have been broken up with and want to get that person back, Coach Lee is the best! I’ll never forget how much he helped me!   -Anna
If you want your relationship to get back on track, then you need to be humble and accepting what happened. You can’t get your ex boyfriend back by pointing fingers at him. You have to be humble throughout the whole discussion as this is the best approach to tackle this situation, and it will make your ex comfortable with you which will mend broken hearts.
There were a few problems in the past. He’s very sensitive and when he gets stressed he can’t handle much emotion. Because of this, he “broke up” with me in the past. It wasn’t really a break up, he kind of just stopped talking to me. It only took one or two days for him to reach out. He said that he was so sorry and that he was so devastated when he didn’t talk to me. He said that he couldn’t see himself with anyone else and the “break up” made him sick. I thought that this time was going to be like those in the past but after a few days he was still being cold. It’s been about two and a half weeks now since he broke up with me and a week since the last time we talked.
Hello. I broke up two weeks ago with my boyfriend after 5 years. we were living together so its much harder since he left the house. Its my fault, he doesnt trust me know but we also had a few communication problems and he is aware of these as he told me but he doesnt want to give another chance. I dont know what to do, i really want to show him that we must give it another try since we know our mistakes and we had a beautiful relationship all this time we were having fun, trips all the time, i know my mistakes know that i can think clear, i dont want to end up without give it a try. What should i do?:/
Hi Natasha! You’re awesome! My boyfriend broke up with me, and I’m feeling terrible… my question is, my bf was not a narcissist.. I made mistakes and I started to pushing him because he lived with his mother, he is 39… and I’m 31 and I didn’t felt his priority, we had plans to get married, I’m applying no contact since he broke up with me, I didn’t begged him and I was calm, that was almost a month ago and he hasn’t reach me…. do you think that this works for a man who is not a narcissist? He is not a bad guy.
I have been a faithful fan of yours over 3years now and i must admit that your team has been a source of inspiration and help to me. Sabrina has been awesome. Thank you. My case is simple. I have always wanted to marry a white guy right from my childhood though I am a black lady. When I grew older after high school? I worked in a company where they have lots of whites. But I didn’t get to hook up with one because I had to go to college. I’m in my final year. I will be graduating next year and hope to get scholarship to study abroad. I am 23years old. if anyone can hook me up with some white friends I would be grateful. or simply just recommend me to someone. Thanks a lot.
It may be hard to go through your daily routine without her at the moment, but you're going to have to learn how to, since the only way you win her back right now is by being patient and giving both parties some space to recollect their emotions and feelings for one another. The other guy sounds like a rebound right now, and you'll have to let their relationship fall apart on their own before you make a move.
In 2001, after her employment at Webtrends ended, Vinneccy filed for the restraining order against her in Florida, claiming that Swetnick threatened him and his family after he ended their relationship. “She was threatening my family, threatening my wife and threatening to do harm to my baby at that time,” Vinneccy told Politico last week. "I know a lot about her. She’s not credible at all,” he said. “Not at all.”
I would add one additional observation, backed up by research findings. When couples have strong skills for talking cooperatively over differences, they find collaborative solutions to "those annoyng little ticks." Often the solution comes just from more understanding of each other; sometimes small changes that each are glad to make also help enormously.
my ex and I had been together for 3 years(last year of highschool to third year of college-different cities).I broke things of two months ago because we would get intimate rarely the last two month,and when I asked him why,he replyed that we both gained weight and he can't see me as sexually as he used to, but he still didn't want to break up and wanted to work things out,but I was too emotional to think about it then. For the next month after the breakup he still said he wanted me. We saw each other about two weeks ago, and he started being a bit weird... he said he still loves me but doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone, but we can still have sex, or that he is sure that if we took our clothes right then and there we would have sex,or asking me how would i feel if he told me togive him a hug... I told him I still love him and I am not iterested in him being just someone I talk to and occationally have sex with,and if sex was what I wanted,I can find it anywhere I want. Then he started being friendly for a bit,then giving me the cold shoulder the next day. I looked sad and a bit clingy,but didn't beg or acted needy. I recently learned from common a friend that he told her "if she doesn't want me once,I don't want her a hundred times" when she asked how are things between us. To this day we still keep in touch and are on very friendly terms (we used to be very good friends for years before we became lovers) and he usually reaches out,although I'm trying to take some disdance and don't always reply him. I still want after all these things to be with him,and it's not that I just miss him,or the idea of being in a relationship. I miss him for who he is. I really can't understand if it is just a phase or he really doesn't want me. I am willing to try work things out (but not changing my body or myself just to fit his standards as I would never demand that of him) if I see interest from his part,but his behaviour confuses me. what should I do? He is also coming back to our hometown for three days,and asked me to go out for drinks at a place we both used to work and I said ok... I am not sure if it was the right thing to do,or if he will friendzone me if I go out with him for drinks on friendly terms... I don't know what to do...
Legs it (sorry). I need To be best fiends with you to advise me in life ? Good luck ladies it’s hard out there as we’re doing it alone and continuing the human race while we’re at it. My only advice is keep your cards close to your chest and always be the one who he’s living for not like me as I seem to pick the big egos & their ego rules their life! Once your vulnerable your finished!
Me and my girl were together for a 1 month but not officially. We both say “I love you”, we cuddled, hug, kiss, go out together, everything does like it is relationship kind a thing. At first all things were fine but there are some imperfections and flaws of mine, like not giving her enough attention, not communicating about our needs and wants, and acting like a jerk sometimes that she accepts it at first because she loves me. But things get out of control, I repeatedly started those things she doesn’t want me to do again. I screwed things up over and over again, she gets really angry and said i was too immature of my age, btw i’m 19 yo and she is 18. At the end of the month she started to act cold and i am comforting why did she acted like that she told me that she didn’t like my behaviour and got turned off by how i act, she even felt sorry for getint tired of us because of my behaviour. Then she reason out why it came at end then i went nuts, begging, pleasing, that i am gonna fix it right away and begging her to stay. I got no reply. Should i pursue her? Or move on and improve myself?
Have you realized that you are still in love with your ex-boyfriend even though he ended your relationship? If so, you’re probably looking for clues that can help you get back together and put the breakup behind you for good. Your friends may have a lot of different options and they may conflict each other – or even themselves. They may be telling you that he’s not worth your time or affection and that you’re better without him in your life at all. It’s not easy to get past a relationship, even if you want to. You want to get him back, and you need to be focusing on methods that can make that happen.
My ex broke up with me 8 months ago. The reason he broke up with me was because he said I was immature and I didn’t take him seriously. So when he broke up with me we didn’t talk until and like 4 days later I found out he was dating his ex again. So we completely stop talking to each other until one day my parents and I went to his house (my parents and his parents get along very well). He was acting so nice to my parents but he didn’t say a word until I got a message from him and he was apologizing about everything he did and of course I forgave him. So that day we were talking again and when we were talking out of no where he hugged me and that made me get a lot of flash backs of us together. After the hug he kissed me so we kissed and then I asked him what we were and he said whatever I wanted and I said we can try this again if you want. After I left his house we were still talking and I decided to ask him about his ex. He told him he still had feelings for her and I asked why he was with me and he told me because I reminded him of when he and the girl started dating supposedly I was being like her. I got really mad and we broke again. But we still talked cause we ended up being friends. One time when we were talking he told me that he regrets breaking up with me. But the next day he didn’t talk to me again. We lasted for a very long time without talking but I noticed that every time he and the girl broke up he will talk to me. So I got tired of that and didn’t talk to him no more. I decided I needed to move on but it took me along time since I still have really strong feelings for and even when I got a boyfriend I still had feelings for him. Barely this passed Saturday I saw him again. It was so awkward my mom noticed that he was really nervous when he saw me and that he was looking at me. I wanted to cry so bad because I remembered all our dates and every single time we said i love you’s. And I thought I was over him but I’m still not I still love him with all my heart. What can I do to get back with my ex???

Will My Ex And I Get Back Together Tarot Spread


Italiano: Tornare Assieme alla tua Ex, Español: hacer que tu ex novia vuelva, Deutsch: Seine Ex Freundin zurückgewinnen, Português: Conquistar a sua Ex Namorada de Volta, Français: récupérer son ex petite amie, Русский: вернуть свою бывшую девушку, 中文: 让你的前女友回心转意, Nederlands: Je ex vriendin terugkrijgen, Čeština: Jak získat svoji expřítelkyni zpět, हिन्दी: अपनी एक्स गर्लफ़्रेंड को वापस पाएँ, ไทย: กลับไปคืนดีกับแฟนสาวคนเก่าของคุณ, العربية: استرجاع حبيبتك السابقة, 한국어: 전 여자친구를 되찾는 법
Hi, so like so many others my boyfriend just broke up with me 3 days ago. My mind is definetly in the overreacting stage. We’d been going out for 8 months and honestly it was fantastic, I’ve never felt like somebody loved me as much as he did. I would wake up to “good morning, just a quick reminder that I love you” texts every now and then, and we never really left the honeymoon phase. So 4 weeks ago I went on holiday and he called me saying he missed me and when I got back he seemed very genuine in the missing me and loving me. Last time I saw him 2 weeks ago everything was as normal, very loving to each other, but just kinda curled up on the couch because I had some period pain. I apologised for not really doing anything with him that day and he said “I just feel weightless holding you and being with you, don’t worry.” The next week he began phasing me out over text (usually we would message everyday) until a week ago he shut me out completely saying he had family and work issues. I finally break his silence and he comes over and breaks up with me. He told me that it had been on his mind constantly for the past 2 weeks and everyone said noticed the anxiety change in him. He said he couldn’t sleep because he didn’t know what to do. When I asked why he said it was just all in his head and he couldn’t get it out. He said that it was him and not me and thanked me for being the best girlfriend he’s ever had... all the time he seemed emotionless and hugged me loosely. I was/am devestated, from my point of view nothing happened or changed and he was extremely out of character. Even his friends and family messaged me after saying how shocked they were and asking how I was. Of course I want him to come back and say it was a mistake but I don’t know if he will. I havnt contacted him since but his best friend wants to meet me for coffee next week... so do I meet her and break the no contact rule? Also is there a point? I don’t want to try for something that clearly won’t happen. I just need some outsider advice :(

I quit the day he left me, and I haven't even felt the urge since. I want to get him back, and want to do it the right way, but I feel like I need to contact him and confess how bad things were for me, not for pity but just so he understands why I did some of the things I did, and doesn't think that "that was just the way i am". Now that I have 3+ weeks of sobriety under my belt, I am more sure than ever that he might be the one, and that things would have worked. Ive turned my life around and am on such a better path, but I can't get him out of my head. I also can't forgive myself for letting my addiction ruin such a perfect thing. I know that I could make him happy now.

We both met through gay dating app in Feb-2018 and loved each other for 3 months and both used to express our love indirectly where my boyfriend used to like me a lot and used to chat with me daily with lot of interest and enthusiasm and use to share his pics where he goes and use to say everything. And we celebrated the first two months anniversary too . In 4th month that is in May-2018 i expressed to him directly that i love him and he said i liked you as a friend and but i could sense at that time he likes me but not expressing. Slowly he lost interest in me and but used to chat with me daily.
my ex and i met 2 years ago. as with most relationships we started off really well, it was intense and passionate and we were really close emotionally and physically. we are gay, in a long distance relationship, we live about 4 hours apart which actually worked well for us. cos he's busy with college and i'm busy with work and we meet about once or twice a month either in his city or in my city.

all said and done, i accepted this breakup gracefully and did not beg, pled, etc. to get her back. i was devastated for past 14 days up to now, and i recently found out she told our mutual friend that she feels my insecurity has gotten out of way (i was shocked because i didn't show any sign or do anything to show her that). maybe once, where i ask why are u comparing my size with her gym friends. do u think me being smaller size has anything to do with ur gym friends who are so big in size? maybe its true i have some insecurities, but it HAS NOT gotten out of way. i was rude in that conversation.
Hi, my on and off boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me. I'm a single mom. He was always there for my kid since she was born.but I cheated on him with the kids father. I made a stupid mistake he lost trust and broke up with me over suspecting I had cheated again I haven't. Idk what to do. I know he has another girl he's talking to. And his mom says he comes home late like 3am. I love him. We were talking marriage or moving in together before he dumped me.
My ex broke up with me two weeks ago, because of a text I sent him AND he broke up with me over the phone. We have broken up maybe ten times already this year and I am honestly so drained. He is extremely controlling, jealous, possessive, obsessive and verbally and mentally abusive. But HE broke up with me after I put up with all those horrible traits he has. But for some reason, this break up hit me real hard. HEs not the same guy I met in the beginning and I’m starting to think THIS is really who he is. He said he won’t change and that there is nothing wrong with him and that this is all my fault. I have become obsessive like him and I’m feeling so lonely and sad, over someone who once even called me a whore because he has zero trust in me, and I have always been honest and loyal to him. I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to get out of the house and do things that I like but I’m feeling a little depressed over it. I don’t know he still has this much power over me. I even called him crying and screaming telling him I’m having a hard time over this break up and I think he’s getting a kick out of it. I feel like he stole my mojo cuz I used to be so tough in the beginning. Now .... I lost my female balls and I feel like I will never find someone again who will love me like he did. But why would I want someone to love me the way he did when clearly it was a toxic love. Any advice on how I can get myself back? I’m more concerned about getting my balls back rather then him. I apologize for the language but this is the best way I can’t describe what I feel. He controlled me so much that even without him I still feel like I’m under his control. Any advice please?!
I recently visited home. We met up with each other, talked, laughed, cried, slept together, agreed we still have a deep intimate connection, & we want to be together. However, he is still with the girl he has been dating for months. He does not love her and is afraid to end a good thing and take a chance with me, even though he knows that we can make this work and be better than before. I am moving back home in a few months, not for him, for me. All of my family and friends of the last 40 years are at home. What am I supposed to do? We love each other, want to be together, and eventually we'll be living in the same town again. But he's with her, this is my worst nightmare 

My ex-girlfriend and I broke up last week on Wednesday 12th. We had been together for almost three years which it should be tomorrow 19th. In the past, I mistreat her and cheated on her where I made a big regret for it. Last May 2018, she broke up with me then I worked so hard to get her back in June. By time, our relationship got improving from time to time. Recently, I talked to girls(whose I flirted with them in past) as long as I know my boundary. I learned a lesson. Apparently, she was still obsessed about the past what I did to her where trust issue came up. In several days ago, I was so pretty devastating then getting better day by day. Then I read this article and learned a lot about No Contact and many good information that I never learn in my life. I startled No Contact since Friday night 14th. I just hope that space and time give us healing and someday getting together later.
I meant a friend who directed me to Dr. Ikhine on the internet who help people to solve their problem and then i wrote to him and he said i should not worry about anything, that i should give him 48 hours for him to cast a spell for me and after that 48 hours my ex boyfriend called me on my office line and started begging. That is how my ex boy friend came back to me contact [email protected] com put a smile in your face once again his help is guaranteed. more life in love

We texted incessantly for a month and went on our first date to an ice cream festival called The Scooper Bowl. I missed the train, and we kissed. We began a summer fling where we’d walk around Boston holding hands, eating pizza, and watching TV cuddled up on her couch. She made that summer in Boston perfect. It was only two months, but it was unfiltered romance.

How To Get Your Ex Back When She Is Dating Someone Else


Hello, me and my ex boyfriend recently broke up about a month ago. Currently I am trying the no contact rule, but it's impossible for me not to see him due to the fact we attend the same workplace. Also we share the same close friends, so sometimes when out with friends he's there and at parties, but we never speak at all during them. A few days after the break up, I wrote him a letter appolising and asking if we could be friends (I think this was a bad idea to do this and I got no reply or anything from him). Also I wrote in the letter that I was okay with his decision to break up, but I wasn't. In a few weeks I want to try and contact him and speak as friends. I would prefer to do this via text as he ignores every call, and as soon as he sees me in person he gets as far away as possible. I just don't know want to say to him after this no contact period, or how to get him to want to talk to me. Could you please help me or give me any advice at all. I would really really appreciate it and be really grateful. I would be so so thankful if anyone could help at all. My email is [email protected]
If you try to take your ex head on and force them to change their mind you will probably meet a lot of resistance and never quite get to where you want to go. It’s quite simple it is impossible to force someone to love you; but you can make them fall in love with you if you put the right actions in place and if you are a little bit clever in your approach!
Last year I broke up with my girlfriend due to many misunderstandings and I remember very well how hard I had been fighting to get her back. She changed her number, changed her job so that I don’t visit her office and none of her friends would give me any information about her. The only thing I could do was to go find help from anywhere, so i looked for a way to get her back then a friend recommended me to contact [email protected] gmail. com that he will help me and as my friend said, lorddonaldspelltemple helped me to bring back my girlfriend just in 3 days, I now have her back and this is the biggest joy of my life

As he saw the impact of his new listening skills Peter all the more conscientiously dug into learning all he could from his relationship skills book, workbook and online program.  He realized that prior to the relationship breakup he had had no idea of what a high-skilled activity sustaining a loving partnership was.  Now that he understood the potency of collaborative dialogue, conflict resolution and emotional self-regulation skills he studied intensely every night as if he was preparing for exams.

Catholic Prayer To Get Ex Boyfriend


If you have ever heard the old saying that if you love someone set them free, you will probably know that there is a lot of truth to it. Most men love to divide and conquer. With that being said, don’t make it too easy for him to come back. However, before you get to this stage, you need to first build interest on his part in wanting to get back together with you.
You also need to avoid displaying your vulnerability in the form of begging, pleading or bargaining your way back into your ex-boyfriend’s heart. You can’t guilt-trip him into giving you a second chance at your romance. A desperate ex-girlfriend isn’t attractive to anyone, least of all your ex-boyfriend. Guys simply don’t like emotional reactions to things, and they’ll want to keep their distance from you as much as possible. This clearly isn’t going to help you win back his heart if he’s keeping you at arm’s length.
Now its been 2 months and we text daily and i did no contact for 2 weeks. However, he doesn't text me as often anymore (30 - 10 hours for a reply), hang out with me, or ask me to hangout with him like it was during our post break up before I went no contact. Now I feel like he has moved on and lost me because he is always with friends and never reaches out to me. Should I move on too or still try to get him back and rebuild what was lost?
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