Avoiding contact is not just a passive-aggressive way to make your ex miss you. It gives you time to do the things you need to do to prepare yourself for a new relationship (whether it's with your ex or someone new!). Take time during this month to get to know yourself as an individual and to work on areas that you may have let slip during your relationship with your ex. If you contributed to the breakup, this is the time to pinpoint your relationship weaknesses and do the hard work to improve as a human being.

And while we’re talking about jealousy, you should also try to refrain from reacting if he posts a picture with a girl, or likes a girl’s social media posts, or even if he starts dating a girl. Jealousy is ugly, unattractive, and destructive. Maybe you’re hurt that he seems to be moving on, but lashing out at him is not going to swing the pendulum back in your favor. And you really don’t know what’s going on. Maybe it’s a rebound fling, maybe the girl in the picture is his cousin, who knows and who cares? This is not where you should be putting your attention at the moment.

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My ex and I broke up 2 weeks ago and we tried not talking at all, however we could only go two days without talking. He broke up with me because he said he is unhappy in his life right now and that he has to figure his life out and that he doesnt want to drag me down too. He says he still loves me. I still love him to. I just am confused on what to do. We talked and I asked him if he wants to hang out and be friends and have sex sometimes. He said he doesnt want to do that because he doesn’t wanna make it harder for either of us, but I convinced him to hang out with me. We started having sex and hanging out. He has been worried that we both won’t be able to move on if we continue to do this. I told him that I still want him in my life and he said he still wants me in his. He just doesn’t understand why I can have sex with him without feeling guilty. He told me that me having sex with him confuses him and he wants to but is worried it will make it hard for him in the future. I wanna be with him. I wanna get back together with him I just dont know how. I have tried everything.
HI Kim…thanks for stopping by. As I talk about in my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro, this whole focus on No Contact is just about getting him back, but its also very much about doing things for yourself in a realistic and pragmatic way so if it doesn’t work out, then you path into the future can (and will) be fulfilling. Be careful about reading too much into what guys say during and after a breakup. He may very well not know his feelings that well. He might think he does, but time has a way of telling us the truth about our relationships. To optimize your chances, take a look at some of the ebooks I have written which you can find on my website Menu/products link. Let me know how things go for you Kim!

Then I tried to write him and tell him we need to get back together. But it was too late. I met him and he said he was sitting with a girl friend which he didnt talk to since our last breakup. He said our relationship was a total disaster, that it cant work. That he tried everything he could and swore that if the last time we cant make it go so thats it. He told me hes not going to come back with me and he is really happy by himself. Then he said that he doesnt love me, that he thought he did but he was wrong. Hes not even going to come to Ozzy Osborne concert with me and didnt want to give me my ticket.
Look, I know how hard it is to not contact the one person on this earth you want to see and speak to more than anyone else. I fully get it. But just because we want something doesn’t mean it’s in our best interest to go after it. It’s like going to the gym. Sometimes it’s really hard to summon the strength to get yourself there, but you do it because your goal is to be fit and healthy. Here, your goal is to get your ex back and have a healthy, loving, mutually fulfilling relationship. That can only come about when you’ve taken time to gain clarity and perspective.
Hlo ,on 27th June he broken up with me,we spnd lot of time together,he is my first love and everything for me,ours relationship was to good evn in school all teachers know about tht we are in relationship, all students said made for each other ,I think about him always every minute ,I was wanting a2nd chance to solve the problem but he decided to breakup evn he doesn’t give any reason why he want to break up with me,i had sent him lot of msgs to convenience him,bt I also force him to continue the relationship otherwise I do sucide and all ,I know there is my mistake and I’m feeling guilty about this ,I was do this only because I don’t want let him go bt after doing this he starts hating.now he don’t evn want to talk me ,it’s hard it’s realize that I will never be with this boy again ,he is the boy who does not want to make me cry bt now he hates me because of my reason bt later I apologise him and try to convince him and pleased him to talk evn as a frnd but he doesn’t so please please please give me some advice how I get him back because I don’t want to leave him in any condition

The no contact rule isn’t foolproof… it’s just human psychology. It drives some people crazy and they have to find out why you stopped contacting them. It works most of the time, but some people only want their ego stroked. They might not necessarily be interested in you, it could be that they’re just feeding their insecurities. If you want your ex to fall in love with you again, it’s really worth checking out Kevin’s Kurgansky’s method. I’m not sure if links are allowed on here (Mods delete if not) but you can find his guide at: ExBackGuide.info
Do something nice for her without expecting her to pay you back. If she's studying late for an exam, pop by with her favorite tea or coffee and let her know that you know she's going to kill it tomorrow. If one of her friends gets in an accident, stop by and pay your respects (the friend will definitely let your ex know you stopped by). If your ex mentions she wanted to see a movie, buy her two tickets for her and her friend to see, and don't butt in. Your time will come soon.
Here’s my problem, I was begging, pleading, and trying to look pity for my ex-girlfriend just to make her stay. We had sex then goodbye. Then i saw your videos about No Contact Rules. Following your advice about no contact rules was hard as hell. My target is FULL 30 DAYS no contact but in my two weeks of battle. Suddenly she texted me, i try to ignore her, then she call me using other number so we talked since its likely rude to ignore her at all. She told me she wasn’t happy in her new bf. She felt sorry for me. She’s asking me if there was any chance to rebuild our relationship?Is she still welcome to my life? I told her i am awesome now, i currently dating to someone else the she get madly jealous. She doesn’t want me to date others.She really want to see me but ill be the one who refuse to see her. I told her i will only see you when you come back to me. She wanted me to stick around but u said to your videos not to get in friendzone.
Here’s my problem, I was begging, pleading, and trying to look pity for my ex-girlfriend just to make her stay. We had sex then goodbye. Then i saw your videos about No Contact Rules. Following your advice about no contact rules was hard as hell. My target is FULL 30 DAYS no contact but in my two weeks of battle. Suddenly she texted me, i try to ignore her, then she call me using other number so we talked since its likely rude to ignore her at all. She told me she wasn’t happy in her new bf. She felt sorry for me. She’s asking me if there was any chance to rebuild our relationship?Is she still welcome to my life? I told her i am awesome now, i currently dating to someone else the she get madly jealous. She doesn’t want me to date others.She really want to see me but ill be the one who refuse to see her. I told her i will only see you when you come back to me. She wanted me to stick around but u said to your videos not to get in friendzone.

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It may not be possible at the start, especially when the breakup was recent and memories of the relationship are still filled in both party's heads. He could be contacting because he misses you to a certain extent but is conflicted and distracted by his new relationship, resulting in him acting this way towards you. Depending on how recent, I would suggest going into NC for now to give each other some space first. 

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Hi Sophia! I am sorry your ex is being abusive to you. You don’t deserve that. No one does. It sounds like he is being manipulative by trying to talk you into getting an abortion as a requirement to see him. The double messaging seems to be his way of trying to control you. You should consult with your family, your physician and others you trust before you do anything around an abortion. Do you really want to be with this guy? I do think No Contact would help you heal and gaining some perspective about what is important in your life.
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My ex boyfriend contacted me after 18 years. We were together for 3 years and the last 7 months got really bad because of his ex wife and then his family got involved and he got really depressed. I had to leave so we didn’t kill each other. he contacted me 9/18 to see how I was doing and at first we just talked then all these feelings I had buried deep down inside came out and I told him exactly how I felt. We would be talking and all the sudden he was having a party with 100 people over and he had to go. He would go from talking and laughing to having parties or he was going to Italy to How rich he has become since his dad passed. It was so confusing because I thought I did the right thing leaving him but now I am regretting it. I still love him. i told him I don’t care about his money. He would only talk to me via Facebook. He kept accusing me of cheating then i figure it out he was the one cheating so he un-friended me. After a couple of days I sent him a friend request and he accepted within 30 seconds. after a couple of days we started talking again. He knew I was going through a break up with someone I had been with for 6 years. he wanted to see a picture of him and after him bugging me for ever I sent one. within 10 min he had a band at his place with all this food and 100 people and they were going to party all night. He said he would come and visit because we live in different states now. he wanted a picture of me a sexy one then he unfriended me and when I asked why he said not interested so I told him whatever i was the best thing that has or ever will happen to him. Then he blocked me. I am confused on why he wanted a picture of my ex boyfriend and I have gained weight and I don’t hide it on Facebook. He remembers thing that happen when we first met and things I had told him about. I have loved this man since I first laid eyes on him and I made a mistake by leaving. I have never married but he has twice. I love him with all my heart but I am so confused on his actions. I just don’t understand. it has been a month since he blocked me. I wrote him a litter apologizing for my mean words because i told him his ex wife looks like a guy and she does but i had no right to say that. I talk to his oldest daughter but i don’t bring her into this. I just want to understand why he contacted me again and why he still wants to hurt me. i have apologized for leaving and hurting him. I am just confused. I just want to understand why he came back.
Peter did a lot of studying of couple skills on his own via books and a website.  At the same time, he had a therapist for guidance when he felt stuck and to help him with insights and deeper subconscious change.  Finding a therapy professional to help you through this kind of crisis can be helpful, provided it is a therapist who helps you to see and rectify your relationship mistakes.

You often heard men complaining ‘they don’t want to get nagged’ – The problem is not in nagging instead men feel their women start showing unsatisfaction of who he is and what he has to offer and that what eats away the relationship. This doesn’t mean you can’t express your true feelings. Make sure to balance your true feeling with love and admiration to keep fire in your relationship.
Long distance relationship, We dead-loved each other for one year and then I broke up. She left immediately and I missed her for two weeks and texted back. Three months I didnt care, She kept texting and called. slowly she came up with this breakup thing. All of a sudden she declared breakup and I couldnt digest it. I begged her for 2 weeks. Will she get back? How long should I wait?

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I would add one additional observation, backed up by research findings. When couples have strong skills for talking cooperatively over differences, they find collaborative solutions to "those annoyng little ticks." Often the solution comes just from more understanding of each other; sometimes small changes that each are glad to make also help enormously.
Hello.. I really need help.. My Ex and I broke 3 weeks ago and we've been in a back and forth, me trying to get her back and she finding out more things that made her be really sure about never going back with me.. I lied to her in a bad way and I hurt her a lot because of my lies... I have apologized several times for that.. Yet I haven't apologized for my attitude after the break up..(We said many emotional things).. Everytime I was apologizing for what I did was trying her to forgive me and get her back... Without understanding her feelings.. I wonder... It has been 3 weeks and I haven't apply the 30 days rules (Wish I saw this earlier)..

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We don’t like to call each other “ex”, so my friend and I were together, but we broke up a year ago due to a stressful issue. We have remained friends, and still wished to be together. But now, he is starting to date someone else who is more similar to him. I did some stupid things, and it felt like I got this big slap in the face- he was always right. He always was telling me things that were disconnecting us that were things I needed to work on. He admitted to me that he was scared of being with me, let alone staying friends. I’ve told him that I felt this slap and everything and that I’m going to change because I’ve been making myself unhappy. But I’m also very determined to reestablish our relationship as a couple and not just friends. I’m scared of what will happen, but I know I have to move forward and be better for myself. I realized I’ve been letting my emotions control me and that it has been destroying myself and my relationships with other people. He is someone I see frequently (fyi, not a co-worker) and we text a lot still. I’m still afraid. He loved me once, he even got me a promise ring of sorts… If he sees me changing for the better, will I still have a chance? The fear comes with the fact that there is another woman who could steal his heart. Yet the funny thing is, she loves and adores me beyond anything. I am not sure if she is romantically interested in him, but I definitely wouldn’t call it unlikely. She also knows my history with him. It’s tough, but I want to become the woman he always thought I could be, which is someone amazing. I don’t really know what I’m asking now, I think I just need some support and to know that I’m doing the right thing, and that I’ll be okay… I can’t just forget about how much I want him back by my side. 

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Hi Shikha, no judgement here but I do have to caution you in such situations that while it was no fault of yours for falling in love with him, more often than not in these situations, the married person would usually choose their wives due to the complications that follow if they decide to get a divorce. It becomes simpler to work their marriage out than to risk losing everything in the process. If you're mentally prepared for that, no contact is the most appropriate action for now, but it would typically be longer than the usual 30 days. You'll probably have to do no contact and take the risk of letting him work his marriage out, and if it fails a second time, that's when you reach out to be there for him.
So I’d like to preface this by saying I’m a woman and my ex-fiancée is a woman as well. I do find most of this page to apply, but it is challenging having two women with all of that emotion and overthinking. I’ve finished with the no contact period after my ex broke up with me, and contacted her with my “elephant in the room” message. I know she’s in the “missing phase” from texts she’s sent me, and thought it was the perfect time to send it. I am in a good place and am feeling more positive every day. I was prepared for the possibility of her responding, and how to close the conversation before giving her a few days of digestion. However, I was not prepared for her response. My message included: an apology for my behavior after the breakup, that I accepted the breakup and think it was for the best, and my positive change. Her response was “I’m glad you’re doing well. I’m not.” I’m thrown off by this, because I’m almost worried that she’s under the impression I’m moving on (although I never said anything of the sort), and she seems almost upset at my message. I’m unsure on how to respond to this- hoping you can offer me some advice. I could be totally overthinking this, but we were together for five years and I know her very well and can decipher texts. But now that we’re broken up, I could just be analyzing too much. Please help! I really don’t want to screw this up :)

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If you want him back but nothing is working, then I’m here to share the four steps. It’s safe to say that these steps aren’t just a hit and miss approach to getting your man back. I didn’t just see these work with ONE couple, and say great, let’s spread the word. Or what I’m really getting at, is that this isn’t about using some short-term trick like giving him the silent treatment, or not.
More often than not if you have gotten this far in your conquest to get them back they are going to respond back positively. Except this time you are going to engage them in a conversation but make sure that you don’t go too fast. Remember, you still have to be the one to end the conversation first. Lets look at how a conversation like this might play out using an example from above:

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Broke up with girlfriend after over 2 years together. We had some issues and had been to relate but finished counselling positively. Change of job had me move towns. She followed me 2 months later when she also had new job. My job fell apart and I had to quit just as she relocated. I then got work elsewhere on temporary basis but it went on for 9 weeks. We barely saw each other saw each other. I felt pulled work wise away from her and I allowed it to happen. We split. I was in denial for a month or so. When realisation hit I was heartbroken. I’ve tried emailing to say I want to get back together but she’s said she’s not in love with me and we have no future and that she wants space to heal.. I love her so much. I’ve written a heartfelt apology for hurting her but she won’t respond. I just don’t know what to do. I think she’s built up her barriers and is determined to put me in a box and ignore me. What do I do? I’m so very sad, really love her and can see all the ways we could have a really good relationship but if are doesn’t….
According to The Washington Post, in 2015, the state of Maryland filed a lien against Swetnick's property, citing more than $30,000 in unpaid taxes dating back to 2008. Court records obtained by The Post showed that the total amount owed, nearly $63,000, was resolved in December 2016, although the paper reported it was unclear exactly how. And, in 2017, the federal government filed a lien on Swetnick's property, citing a $40,000 unpaid tax bill from 2014, according to The Post. That lien reportedly was released in March 2018, and the debt was similarly satisfied.
I have been wondering how to make him love me again, realise he made a mistake and give a second chance. It is even harder as he is in another country. Plus, I really don’t think the NC rule would work on him, because I have been the one who asks question in our relationship, who kept the conversation going when we lived apart for a few weeks. I believe if i implement it now, it will just give him the opportunity to move on, to forget me, because he has a lot going on otherwise (studies, friends, handball, parties…). Did i also ruin my chances by begging for it so much?

My boyfriend broke up with me last week and pretty much out of no where. I’m pretty devastated and having a hard time accepting it. I kinda went bat sh!t crazy texting him 2 days after we broke up. The day after, he would respond and such. The 2nd day he didn’t respond at all and I kinda went crazy, but I don’t think i went over the edge or the limit. 3rd day I didn’t not bother to text him nor attempting in the future. Do you think the 2 days I attempt to contact him will make me like a crazy ex gf? Yesterday, I saw he unfollow me on snapchat, but still have me on FB and IG. Hope you can reply back!
Honestly, it is hard to think of any disadvantages when using text messages. Texting is the communication highway for today’s couples. You and your boyfriend probably texted each other all the time and rarely shared them with anyone. Basically texting is super intimate. You can share cute pictures and do all sorts of really fun things. Not to mention it is impossible to raise your voice over a text message. However, I would say the biggest advantage to text messaging would be the fact that you can take your time and think everything through. This is something that calling on the phone won’t allow you.

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In my career, many girls keep on mentioning either one of above issues to explain the reason for their breakup. It is very important to keep in mind that your relationship doesn’t come to an end just because you said certain words or did something that lead to breakup. If your relationship with your ex boyfriend was base on solid foundation then few words or actions can’t come over the long work you did before.
So...there's mounting evidence that Rihanna and Chris Brown are back together. They were recently spotted canoodling at an NYC club, and then showed up together at a Jay-Z concert. Plus, Chris was photographed leaving RiRi's hotel the other night and he released a statement saying that he'd split with his girlfriend because he "didn't want to see her hurt over my friendship with Rihanna." Um...okay.
I met a guy on a dating app and we hit it off right away, the first date we kissed and had a ton in common which is so rare for me. Things moved quickly from there and we were seeing eachother one a regular basis (2-3 times a week), texting daily and I stayed at his place every weekend. He planned great dates and would regularly follow up to make plans. Although on one hand I started to really fall for him, I did have some concerns about his communication. When I asked questions about his past, he was very vague about his previous relationships and closed off to discussing them. He also seemed not very experienced with dating/sex which I didn't mind. He told me he had not had a girl friend in high school or university and had been single for 5 years (so most of his life he has been single). That is the most I got out of him.
So me and my ex were in a long distance relationship for 2 years. I was in my career and he was just finishing up school. We met in another state and have always been long distance. So when he graduated, im thinking that we would finally get to be together. Wrong, he broke up with me. His words were im not leaving you, im leaving the relationship. I still love you and still feel the same, I think that we need to just be friends" So basically needing time to get himself together, which I can respect. At first, I was pleading, then I told him I couldnt be friends. Then, I said yea im ok with being friends because there was so much going on in both of our lives that I feel like I wanted to still be apart of. So for about 5 days after that our only contact was words with friends (Scrabble). The game has ended and now we are officially in the no contact part. He still has our pics up on his page and last time we talked 2 weeks ago, we both said "I love you" before we got off the phone. I really believe we were the two right people at the wrong time. Its almost been a month and each week gets easier. He was my first love and my best friend. This article was nice, my only confusion is you said Id reach out to him after the no contact rule, but most advice Ive gotten is "He broke up with you, You should wait until he hits you up". Im new to all this heart break stuff. He was my first and Im still at the point where I want him to be my only one. Thank you!
Hi. My ex bf broke up with. Me about 6 weeks ago after about 4 yrs. We had a colse emotional and physical connerction, at least i felt so, and our relaionship was gettind great the last 4 month and we had a plan to marry. But suddnly he said that he can't do it anymore, he said he had cheated on me several times with meaningless sex bcz he wasn't satisfied with our sex, he said i could never accept him and kept arguing with him frequently(i agree i was so insecure) and he said he became who i wanted but didn't. Give him what he wanted so he wasn't happy and he was always stressful. Siad his good behavior recently was because he didn't want to upset me and was fake- which i dont believe. He says he loves me but love is not enough and he behaved me really nice when i was acting crazy till now. I do regret my behavior and i want him back. I wish he doesnt give up hope for me.

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