It doesn’t really matter how it happens. Maybe he’ll reach out to you. Maybe you will initiate contact with him. Whichever it is, the key thing at this stage is to keep things casual. And this should be easy for you. You’ve already detoxed from the drama of the relationship, you’re working out, hanging out with friends, have probably been on a date or two, and are involved in new hobbies. Essentially, your life doesn’t revolve around him or a relationship anymore. You’ve done the mental and emotional work to be fine with the outcome either way and there is no pressure.
If you want him back but nothing is working, then I’m here to share the four steps. It’s safe to say that these steps aren’t just a hit and miss approach to getting your man back. I didn’t just see these work with ONE couple, and say great, let’s spread the word. Or what I’m really getting at, is that this isn’t about using some short-term trick like giving him the silent treatment, or not.
It's been a year and a half. He sent me a linked in request. We didn't fight. He was perfect web we were together but life has thrown me since rough punches and I felt like I wasn't on equal ground with him. He has money and prestige. I had lost everything taking care of my husband's yet terminal illness and I was sick myself. I felt I had nothing to offer. Now I have a great career and new car and my home is being remodeled and my last child is in college ave I have my health back. I broke his heart. He just wanted to help me and I felt like charity. I would really like to try again.
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There is usually an underlying reason for his sudden change in his behavior. It's something you may have to figure out if you want to win him back, and if it's something that can be resolved or not. Often, it may be a sudden incident or stress in a person's life that causes them to act this way. There's also a chance that a third party may have been involved, as these are among the common reasons for someone to break up with their partners.
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After one year, we moved in together. We both were ready for it. And let me say, he was the easiest and most compatible person that I have ever lived with (and I have had around 15 different roommates in 5 years). We never bickered about anything, our relationship just felt more important to me to let little things get in the way. Summer was great, we spent almost every free moment on the lake, enjoying each others time and relaxing. Once ski season started, we sunk into a routine. I did not have one day off (except for Christmas and New Years day). This did not leave a lot of “US” time. I see that now. However it would not have made much of a difference since he coaches on the weekends as well. I had never really experienced the “Honeymoon Phase” before. I have been in a couple other relationships before however those just didn’t work out for other reasons.
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I was with my ex for two years, after he propose we decided to have kids, a month later I was pregnant. Then everything goes down since then, all the negative things happened. After I giving birth, he told me he didn't love me anymore. I was depressed and breakdown. and he broke up with me when our son was 3 months old. He has depression and back then he switched off his feelings became extremely cold. now he says he still love me, I was someone special that he wanted to have kids with. we broke up last April, and last December he started a new relationship, they are together still. but the thing is we are still living together for some reasons that we have to for a while, maybe another year.( his gf doesn't live with us) I always keep the house tidy and he appreciates what I have done.
When I came the next day after crying myself to sleep he was painting in the backyard I did it all by myself, he eventually came in I said I was done he said OK bye, walked me to the door said bye with a blank stare and closed the door behind me. It was cold, I have been so broken ever since. I haven’t tried calling or getting a hold of him, but I am best friends with his sister, and am incredibly close to all his relatives. I have talked to his sister, and his aunt\uncle…huge mistakes cause they told him:/ I didn’t want him to know but I know I was taking a chance. I also spoke with his best friend’s girlfriend which we aren’t close but I thought I could confined in her and ask her not to tell his best friend…yeah he told him. His sister told me…I am beyond broken. I’ve cried everyday, I get anxiety attacks and can barley sleep.
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Hi, I broke up with my ex girlfriend like 6 weeks ago after dating for 2 years. She broke up with me cuz she said that we were fighting a lot and she has trust issues. And that she thinks our paths are in very different ways. We are both from LA but she is currently in NYC and I’m in Cancun. It’s been a long distance relationship since the beginning. The fist 1 week I did not talk to her, the second week I started to try and fix things and she said she was over the relationship. It’s been a long distance relationship but we made it work seeing each other every 3 weeks. After I saw that she was really sticking to her word I flew in that 2nd week to try and fix things. We spoke in person and maybe I was to needy or tired to convince her to give us another chance and she still said no. This was the 1 of Agust 2018 I flew back home and started the no contact rule. Around 2 weeks ago she unblocked me from WhatsApp and Instagram so i thought that the no contact rule was working. I texted her on Monday the 3rd of Septembe 2018. I Found out later that day before she answered that she is going out with some other guy or that she is seeing someone new. When she answers I lashed out and straight up told her that I was very disappointed in her cuz I never thought she would go out with someone new that fast. I guess that was a mistake on my part and defeated the no contact purpose, or I don’t know. But I was very mad and disappointed. I was so mad that I blocked her. I then came to my senses this past Friday and sent her a FB message apologizing for my behavior and telling her how I felt and how th no contact period had helped me unterstand where we went wrong and that I loved Her and that I wanted to make things right ect. She answered today saying that she doesn’t want to hurt me but that she thinks we where arguing to much and fighting over everything and that she thinks she did the right decision cuz our paths are very different. I don’t know what to do now? Answer her what? Or what should I do? No contact again? Or should I answer her back?
Continuing contact with her right now may only hurt you further, especially when she’s at the stage of being unsure and you’re still hurting. Beginning no contact right now seems like a good idea as you’ve mentioned and as to whether you should wait, that’s a decision you have to make. I think you’ll be able to get a clearer idea of what path to take once you’re more emotionally stable again and hurting less.
Thank you so much for the advice. I ended up sending a text two days ago just to check on him (nothing emotional) but I know I shouldn't have. He then last night blocked me on Instagram and deleted most of our pics. I think that is a nice way of saying leave me the heck alone until I am ready. Just very shocked after 4 years. But I will hold strong. Hopefully things will work out for the best.
Hello. My ex boyfriend broke up with me about 2 months ago after cheating on me and immediately started dating someone else. Initially I was needy and crying and sad. However I applied no contact and after about a month, he contacted me and told me he missed me. We are in the same class and see each other everyday. I went back to no contact and he had to cracking the no contact 3 times before we finally sat to have a decent discussion. We had a long talk and he got relieved of his guilt while I got closure for doors he left open etc. I am now at the process of reconnecting with him and it's really confusing. I'm scared and I don't know if I'm on the wrong or right path or on both simultaneously. We talk more now and he's really cool with hanging out with me when there's time. In fact he told me that even his current girlfriend can't stop him from interacting with me. We've had sex about 4 times and I've never acted needy or said nonsense about his new girl... In fact I wished him well with his relationship. However I feel bad because I'm compromising my standards my sleeping with him and I feel like I'm doing a little bit more work than he is for us to reconnect. He said he doesn't love me but willingly cheats on the new girl with me. Also he's very vulnerable and very open and free with me. He said he feels I'm different now and he likes this new me. I'm trying to focus on creating a new deep emotional connection but I'm scared of him feeling I'm readily available and he can always come back whenever he wants. I've not told him I want us to come back together but I've told him that I missed the connection between us and I felt something about us was different. To that, he said we should wait and see what happens in the future. Please where do I stand and what should I do?
Remember, the no contact rule isn’t about him, it’s about you. You’re not cutting off contact to try to spite him, you’re giving yourself time and space to heal from the breakup. That is the goal. The byproduct is that he will most likely miss you during this time and yearn for you and while he’s doing that, you’re becoming a better and stronger version of yourself!
Ok sorry about how long this is going to be. So my ex and I were together for about 3 months and while that may be short it was great and we were both very happy. Unfortunately she started stressing because she was afraid of committing to a relationship. I also started stressing because she has lots of guy friends and she was hanging out with one a lot but now i know theres nothing between them. So after I started noticing that she was distancing herself so after a month of her distancing herself I asked what was going on and I asked for better communication. Then she said that we should just be friends and I was upset by this. A lot lol. So first week or 2 I was really upset and she could tell. After that I did NC for 2 weeks. After that I texted her a bit and got a very positive response, but after I realized I really wasn't ready to talk to her again so I did NC a week later for a month. During that NC she tried to talk 3 times and at the end of the month her best friend texted me and told me that she was really upset that I wasn't talking to her. So later that day my ex contacted me and said she was really upset and she missed me. So after that we started talking again and it was great for the next 2 months but eventually I started stressing because I over think all the time. She asked what was wrong and I broke and told her I really missed us being together and I understood that she probably didn't feel the same. After that I realized I hadn't really changed in the past few months so I did NC again this time for 2 months and I read your articles. She only contacted me once to say happy birthday but that's not important. After NC i did the elephant in the room and we are now talking again every day for hours. She regularly makes physical contact (playfully) and she really likes talking and hanging out with me. I'm just confused and I need help. I don't know what to do. I know she still really cares about me but she probably doesn't feel ready for a relationship still. What do I do now? Thanks and sorry for making this so long
Males can sometimes have this tendency where we internalize our thoughts and emotions too much, that something may be bothering him but he never said it out, and in the end only acted upon his feelings without really giving you a chance to explain or understand what was going through his mind. Perhaps you could ask him and try to find out what it is, and whether its something that can be worked on together.
But going through difficulties is what gets us in touch with who we are and what we’re made of. This sort of growth and self-discovery is invaluable. Breaking through that feeling of “I won’t be able to survive without him” and then discovering that you can will make you realize how strong you are, and as a result, will help build your self-esteem and give you that amazing “I can get through anything” feeling.
Hi Lauren again... Well, quite some time passed by, we broke up 3 and a half months ago. I did try all this what you recommend here: waited, wrote the apology letter, asked him if we could talk about what could I have done better. This is what happened: we met for a coffee and had a good talk, just general catching up and casual subjects, however he didn't mention anything about our relationship and I didn't want to push him. It was a friendly time, with some sparks still there. Then we continued in email, I asked him again about what has gone wrong between us, to which he responded that it was mainly about HIM: he was too stressed about certain things in his life that had nothing to do with me. And mentioned a couple of concerns about me, but they were not anything serious. Then HE suggested that we should meet and discuss it, he will be happy to see me - but another month passed by and he didn't seem to be able to fit me in his extremely busy work schedule and stress and I indeed knew that they had something going on in the company. I was very understanding and not pushy at all. Maybe I was way too patient and gave him too much time: tonight, I saw him with another woman, walking in town, holding hands... Now, we will still meet once, because I forgot something at his place. I am totally clueless of how to behave toward him. Shall I pretend that I don't know anything and wait till he brings up that he already has somebody else, or shall I confront him? The worst thing is that he is one of the last men on Earth I would expect to be dishonest. What shall I do now? Now I am close to 50 and I have never been so happy with a man than with him, in fact, he was the first one I could have imagined to grow old with, and he used to be also very happy and planning a wonderful life together. And now I am in quite a shock. Thank you in advance! ...
Sometimes the break up is so unique or troubling or complex, that it requires some specialized coaching. Or sometimes, people do better if they can talk to someone who is an expert at helping folks with their relationship troubles. Well, if you fall into that category, then you are in luck. All you need to do is reach out to me (i.e. click Coaching Services in my website’s Menu Section) and I am sure we can work out something!
It’s confusing and it hurts. I heard what she said but it doesn’t feel like it’s really over. I’m doing my best not to read too much into it but I know I want her back and the only thing I can hope for is the chance to right my wrongs. Maybe there’s a chance, maybe there’s not. I’m not good at reading these things. But I think back to when me and my ex broke up and if I would’ve just left her alone, we would’ve gotten back together. I guess that’s the move with this girl. Give her the time and space she needs. I love her. She needs to be free and if she comes back, then it wasn’t meant to be. If not, so be it. Major L but what can I do?
AND REMEMBER THIS: Guys want what they can’t have, it’s human nature. Recognize that it’s not you he wants, it’s the control that he wants because you’ve disarmed his power source (his ego. Deep down he’s an insecure ninny). You show him what you’re made of and introduce him to the girl that he never got a chance to meet: The one that doesn’t have time for the likes of him or ANYONE that treats her in a less-than manner.
Does My Ex Want To Get Back Together
Hello my name is Jennifer.? I feel like I just keep getting knocked back in all areas of my life. I’m a single mom and I have been single for 2 years now. I knew being single was what I needed to try and build myself up. The truth is I can’t ever think of a time in my life where my life felt genuinely good and I was trying to work on that. Trying to build my confidence, strength and life and I thought it was working. I recently found out my ex, whom I did still stay friends with has met someone else and for some reason it crushed me. The truth is I knew this would happen eventually and I don’t think I want him back. I’m upset, angry and jealous that it happened for him first. I feel like ” what’s wrong with me why doesn’t someone want me”. I know in some way I’ve done this to myself. Being a doormat, being too generous. I thought by making others happy it would make me happy too. But it doesn’t and I don’t know how to find happiness for myself. I don’t have family to speak to or ask advice and only a couple of friends. I don’t like unloading on them and they wouldn’t be able to offer any good advice. Because they have been just as hurt and scared by past relationships as me that they don’t know anymore than I. I feel like I need some help and advice to put me on the right path to get out of this vicious cycle. That I don’t know how to get out from. I have no one to turn to and I’m so lost, confused and lonely. Please help me, I’m so tired of living this way.
I met my husband at a party when I was 17. I saw him and I was hit with a ton of bricks. We spent most of the night talking (and kissing), and I was on a cloud. We dated for a few months and while the relationship was short, it was extremely significant to me. He was just different from the rest and I was devastated when it ended, like completely crushed.
You often heard men complaining ‘they don’t want to get nagged’ – The problem is not in nagging instead men feel their women start showing unsatisfaction of who he is and what he has to offer and that what eats away the relationship. This doesn’t mean you can’t express your true feelings. Make sure to balance your true feeling with love and admiration to keep fire in your relationship.
“I recently got back in touch with my ex and we’re trying to make it work again. What I felt really helped me through the process was the no contact rule for at least three months and truly working on yourself and learning to find happiness outside of the relationship. I got involved with different hobbies, such as sports/working out to make myself feel good, as well as go back to salsa dancing which was something I love to do.”
He broke up with me last Monday after 1 year and 3 months, for me it was the happiest time of my life and we never fought and had a happy and loving relationship. Reading this has really helped me as I’m going into my second week of NC tomorrow. I genuinely think we both needed a break but I’m not going to sit here and believe that we’re gonna get back together I’m just going to do my 4 Week Detox, then go from there. Wish me luck . X
Thankfully, you have reached to the right place. This is because techniques and knowledge you will get from this website will not only help you in understanding how to get your ex boyfriend back but also help you in creating strong relationship. This website contains more than just simple strategies. I am 100% sure you never know the strategies that is mentioned in this website.
Anyway, she decided to breakup, cause she lost all her feelings(it was 1.5 month ago). After that, I made common mistakes, again and again, and in the end I told her: "I give you 1.5 month(till the end of the summer) to think about it all. If you contact me during this period, we will try to build healthy relationship, in other case, I will be lost for you as a person, you will have no opportunity to talk to me/see me etc.". Now she is in another city(to visit parents, by the way, they are against me) abd she will be there for 3 weeks. My question is, how to make no-contact period after my words about "1.5 months", while she knows, that I'm waiting for that? And I have no conversations with her for a week, and when she returns-it will be the end of no-contact, but will she think of me, while she will be on a vacation with her parents? Maybe I have to contact her before these 1.5 months end? Or should I write her and tell, that I decided to take my words about 1.5 month back?
My ex broke up with me 8 months ago. The reason he broke up with me was because he said I was immature and I didn’t take him seriously. So when he broke up with me we didn’t talk until and like 4 days later I found out he was dating his ex again. So we completely stop talking to each other until one day my parents and I went to his house (my parents and his parents get along very well). He was acting so nice to my parents but he didn’t say a word until I got a message from him and he was apologizing about everything he did and of course I forgave him. So that day we were talking again and when we were talking out of no where he hugged me and that made me get a lot of flash backs of us together. After the hug he kissed me so we kissed and then I asked him what we were and he said whatever I wanted and I said we can try this again if you want. After I left his house we were still talking and I decided to ask him about his ex. He told him he still had feelings for her and I asked why he was with me and he told me because I reminded him of when he and the girl started dating supposedly I was being like her. I got really mad and we broke again. But we still talked cause we ended up being friends. One time when we were talking he told me that he regrets breaking up with me. But the next day he didn’t talk to me again. We lasted for a very long time without talking but I noticed that every time he and the girl broke up he will talk to me. So I got tired of that and didn’t talk to him no more. I decided I needed to move on but it took me along time since I still have really strong feelings for and even when I got a boyfriend I still had feelings for him. Barely this passed Saturday I saw him again. It was so awkward my mom noticed that he was really nervous when he saw me and that he was looking at me. I wanted to cry so bad because I remembered all our dates and every single time we said i love you’s. And I thought I was over him but I’m still not I still love him with all my heart. What can I do to get back with my ex???
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my ex and I had been together for 3 years(last year of highschool to third year of college-different cities).I broke things of two months ago because we would get intimate rarely the last two month,and when I asked him why,he replyed that we both gained weight and he can't see me as sexually as he used to, but he still didn't want to break up and wanted to work things out,but I was too emotional to think about it then. For the next month after the breakup he still said he wanted me. We saw each other about two weeks ago, and he started being a bit weird... he said he still loves me but doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone, but we can still have sex, or that he is sure that if we took our clothes right then and there we would have sex,or asking me how would i feel if he told me togive him a hug... I told him I still love him and I am not iterested in him being just someone I talk to and occationally have sex with,and if sex was what I wanted,I can find it anywhere I want. Then he started being friendly for a bit,then giving me the cold shoulder the next day. I looked sad and a bit clingy,but didn't beg or acted needy. I recently learned from common a friend that he told her "if she doesn't want me once,I don't want her a hundred times" when she asked how are things between us. To this day we still keep in touch and are on very friendly terms (we used to be very good friends for years before we became lovers) and he usually reaches out,although I'm trying to take some disdance and don't always reply him. I still want after all these things to be with him,and it's not that I just miss him,or the idea of being in a relationship. I miss him for who he is. I really can't understand if it is just a phase or he really doesn't want me. I am willing to try work things out (but not changing my body or myself just to fit his standards as I would never demand that of him) if I see interest from his part,but his behaviour confuses me. what should I do? He is also coming back to our hometown for three days,and asked me to go out for drinks at a place we both used to work and I said ok... I am not sure if it was the right thing to do,or if he will friendzone me if I go out with him for drinks on friendly terms... I don't know what to do...
Hlo ,on 27th June he broken up with me,we spnd lot of time together,he is my first love and everything for me,ours relationship was to good evn in school all teachers know about tht we are in relationship, all students said made for each other ,I think about him always every minute ,I was wanting a2nd chance to solve the problem but he decided to breakup evn he doesn’t give any reason why he want to break up with me,i had sent him lot of msgs to convenience him,bt I also force him to continue the relationship otherwise I do sucide and all ,I know there is my mistake and I’m feeling guilty about this ,I was do this only because I don’t want let him go bt after doing this he starts hating.now he don’t evn want to talk me ,it’s hard it’s realize that I will never be with this boy again ,he is the boy who does not want to make me cry bt now he hates me because of my reason bt later I apologise him and try to convince him and pleased him to talk evn as a frnd but he doesn’t so please please please give me some advice how I get him back because I don’t want to leave him in any condition
You should stop begging or acting desperate in wanting her back because all you're doing is pushing her further away and scaring her off. If she really has someone she likes now and intends to pursue it, there isn't much you can do but to go into no contact and start working on recovery first before you even consider an action plan to win her back.
Then you cry, and maybe even look up to the sky, maybe even pray and think, ‘Please… Just let me get back with my ex. I hope my ex is just making a mistake and he/she wasn’t thinking it through. I know we are perfect for each other. I want to just call my ex up and say “I love you”.’ Then you look at your phone every half an hour, check your messenger, facebook, instagram, twitter, and heck… email inbox, to see if your ex would want to talk to you, all ready to get back together.
The weird part was when I had one guy leave me as soon as I had another he got jealous. He was so pissed he set his carpet on fire. I usally do the break ups but when he broke up I went with another guy I wasn’t realy all that interested in. I basiclly went with him because I was bored. Needless to say it was interesting when his brother told me the guy was so pissed he set the carpet on fire, I told him the truth and we got back together. I’m not sure how long it lasted but he and I stayed friends after I broke up this time. The last I heard he had issues with his life. Oh well boys will be boys I wonder what Eric thinks of that.
Many relationships go through a loss of attraction after being together for some time. You have to figure out and comprehend the reasoning behind this loss of attraction, and whether there are ways you can go about turning it around to re-ignite the flame he once had for you. 30 days should be enough considering that the relationship didn't end on a terrible note.