Hi Shikha, no judgement here but I do have to caution you in such situations that while it was no fault of yours for falling in love with him, more often than not in these situations, the married person would usually choose their wives due to the complications that follow if they decide to get a divorce. It becomes simpler to work their marriage out than to risk losing everything in the process. If you're mentally prepared for that, no contact is the most appropriate action for now, but it would typically be longer than the usual 30 days. You'll probably have to do no contact and take the risk of letting him work his marriage out, and if it fails a second time, that's when you reach out to be there for him.
6. Wait, don't carried away quite yet! Remind yourself of why things didn't work out the first time around and look for clues to whether things would be any different now. If you broke up because he partied too hard, for instance, notice how much he drinks or how he talks about his nightlife. It would suck to get back together only to discover that the same problems are still haunting you. So take it slow and trust your gut.
My situation is a little different than most, we’ve been together for 5 years and he’s currently in the military now, he just ended things, with multiple reasoning but the last one was him saying he didn’t have time for a girlfriend nor did he want one. It’s been a week since we broke up and also a week of NC, I haven’t reached out, but is this going to work, is he really going to miss me even with us being so far away and his schedule being so hectic?? Please someone give me some advice…
Do you remember how you were before you met? Go back to being that girl. A lot of times when people enter a relationship, they change and they no longer have the qualities that made their partner fall in love with them. They stop keeping up with their hobbies, meeting friends and doing other things that made them fun to be with. This could happen when you have dependent or possessive people in a relationship. It is best to go back to the person you were before the relationship. You need to be the girl he fell in love with.
The day we broke up, we went out fishing with two friends and it was really cool, and we went to see some of his friends play handball ( which is a very important part of his liife, but i have never played, so don’t really care, but I wanted to make the effort for him and to be with him). I was doing so good until he decided to go play ball with his friends during half time, leaving me alone on my chair, while I had come to be with him. There were two people I had talked to before close by ( which was his excuse to leave me) but they were talking the foreign language and imagine how hard it is to engage in the conversation when you don’t know what it,s about and you need to switch language… So i got mad at him and told him it wasn’t cool to leave me on my own.
When he got back, I told him that I was going to stay the week at my parents house. That I wanted him to spend time at our apartment without me there. I could tell he was starting to feel terrible for how he was treating me. I was being incredibly patient and mature about the whole situation. That Friday night (4/20), I got back to our apartment to see him sitting on the couch. The look on his face said it all. He just couldn’t find the love any more. He cares about me but he could not reciprocate the feelings that I had for him. We talked for an hour, I said everything that I wanted to say. That I love him very much but I understand that I cannot force him to feel a certain way. I asked him why he had been bottling up his feelings of being unappreciated or taken for granted. These were two things that I could help fix and I can’t read minds. He said that he saw how busy I was this winter and didn’t want to add to my plate. Hello.. it takes two to tango.

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This is such garbage. Look at what you’ve written: you must be tremendously happy being single with all your options open, so you can find a guy to get tied down with which will make you tremendously happy. Forget this obsession with ‘happiness’, it is a magazine-culture poisonous idea. Accept that you will go through misery after a breakup, if you lived them, but that you will heal. Take it from me, many guys cannot stand these ‘perfectly happy’ women, they can smell a rat a mile off and know it’s fake. Guys realise there is pain in life, and that women go through it as much as they do.
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It was then that I started NC (I had to tell him what I was going to do because we call and text so often). I'm hoping that this will work because I do want him back, but he seemed very unhappy (and slightly angry) when I told him that his actions are confusing me but he cannot make a decision on which girl to go for. And honestly, I was hoping during this NC, he will learn how to live without me (and vice versa). However, this situation is different as he has another girl to console him. Will this still work out happily for me?
You just started dating a new guy. You are in that honeymoon phase and everything is great. You are constantly complimenting him and giving him acknowledgment that he is wanted by you. Basically he loves hearing that you are interested in him. However, as time goes on things begin to change. You don’t compliment him as much because you don’t need to land him anymore. This is when the problems begin for him.

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First things first, you are going to become the sexiest version of yourself that the world has ever seen. Let’s say you and I were dating and we had a fight and broke up (I know I am a horrible boyfriend 😉 .) Anyways, after a month of you basically freezing me out (no contact) I happen to bump into you at a Starbucks or somewhere where we both frequented. The first thought I have of our encounter will be based on the choices that you made during the 30 day no contact period. If you sat around feeling sorry for yourself and ate ice cream on the couch all day I will probably think “she looks terrible.” However, if you spent that no contact time working on yourself physically and mentally I am probably going to think “WOW! She is even more beautiful than I remember.”

I am going to warn you now.  You will be possessed by this intense desire to contact him.  If only you could talk to him, you think, you would just explain everything and all would be forgotten.  Well, it seldom works that way.  Chances are your efforts will be ignored which will just make you feel worse.  Or you will successfully reach your ex boyfriend and he and you will end up having a heated or disappointing conversation, leaving you feeling bad and rejected yet again.  It’s almost always a no win situation because neither one of you are well equipped right now to deal with your emotional states.  So just cool your heels and keep reading!
Well my boyfriend who I've dated for 4 months this told me he just doesn't feel the same way how I feel. We talked about it before and this is our second breakup. What confuses me is how he says he still cares about me and hates seeing me broken like this. And in my heart I love him even with this, and I've read your article that I shouldn't try to pl ish for something because it'll just push him away more and I dont want that. Is there any way or possibility that we will be together again? I've seen this before with one of my friends and her and her ex got bsck together again and he wont let her go ever again. I ha e this thought in my head that it'll happen to me where he'll come back and we'll have a stronger relationship and be together. I'm in the grief stage now and everything just hurts. Is there any way that I'll know he will know that this was a good decision he made between us? He messages me still a day after the break up and he says he feels horrible for putting me through this pain again. I just want to know what to do next for him to take me back.

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my ex boyfriend and i were together for almost two years when he broke up with me. he said he needed space and i didnt give it to him abd he was stressed about money and work. he said he wasnt happy and that there is no chance of getting back together. post break up i was really desperate texting him and calling. we work together so we have to see each other and he gives me a lot of mixed signals but he is flirting with another girl. please help me get him back
Think about what went wrong. While you distance yourself from your boyfriend, you'll be in a good position to reflect on the problems in the relationship. If you want to get your man back, then you have to figure out what it was that went wrong, so you don't do it all over again. The problem could be simple, or it could take a bit longer to figure out. Here are some of the things that could have gone wrong:

When Ex's Get Back In Touch


For the last 3 yrs I was the one who reach out to him every time he leave, now I am applying the no contact, is been 2 weeks, is been hard but I told myself I will have to keep my ground for at least 3 months before I consider reaching out to him. Do you think he will reach out to me this time around? if so, any idea after how long he will reach out to me? I think I may got him used to me giving in all the time.
Dear Lauren, My ex broke up with me about 3 weeks ago and I just started no contact about a week ago. We were dating over 3 years. I have a college class with her and ironically sit next to her. How do I continue no contact when I see her everyday? The night before she decided to move out she told me she wanted us. The next night she went out after work and told me we were done, and she never came home. We had been living together for over a year now and finally moved into our own place. I'm pretty sure she slept with a guy she had been casually seeing from work the night before she never came home. I know she slept with him and I know we are over but I was her only sexual partner ever. How do I get her to see the good times we had and miss me? I really want her back and think we can be stronger than ever. ...
Problem is right now we are not really talking. We have not spoken except in very formal text messages (finalizing the breakup) since the day he said he wanted to break up with me. It's been about two weeks. He said that he would be willing to meet with me but seemed really defensive that I might just try to beg and plead again. I'm worried if I see him he will just keep trying to shut me off, even if that's not what I'm doing..
Every relationship is a power struggle. It may not sound very good to hear and you may not agree but that’s how I see it. You can believe in love, compassion and valuing your partner and still understand that at some point it becomes a power struggle between you and the person you love; in order to live out a type of relationship that mirrors who you are and your values.

So I have done no contact for almost two weeks as my ex was all over my phone, texting and calling me and because we have a child together I give in as he did suggest he want to see his son then I went to his house and everything was so hot and sweet then he start ignore me again and all disrespecting me. I wonder what could have cause that. I was the one who ended our relationship because he wasn't showing me love and he was dies pectin me and going parties on a regular basis and no couple times with us but all I wanted was for him to start act right. We weren't living together for 4years
Hi so me and my gf of 6 months recently broke up about 3wks ago. We lived close together for the first week of us dating, but then she had to go back hom this summer to do some classes at another college. We stayed super connected and the spark was still there. We FaceTimed and/or texted everyday so we could keep us w/each other. We watched shows and movies together, and we even saw each other physically in between for a little a couple of times. Everything was fantastic and i feel we were on the same page. We were both vulnerable, open and honest with each other. When she came back home to her dorms, I stayed over the night and we did it for the first time. It wasn’t perfect, and I probably wasn’t prepared myself but I was willing to talk the day after since I was comfortable enough with her. After that day she seemed distant and rarely texted me. When I confronted her about it, she finally opened up and said she’s been having connection/emotional issues and she doesn’t know if it’s something that she needs to work on herself for awhile. We met up for coffee a few days later and after we finished talking about some stuff, she brought up just being friends and I stupidly agreed because I figured that’s what she wanted since she had been acting that way. She already had my hoodie and stuff in her bag and gave it to me...which hurt bc she planned that. She still looks at my Snapchat story’s and my instagram daily. I still really like this girl. I know I need to work on being less jumpy and anxious when shit hits the fan. What should I do?

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There are also millions of women abusers and millions men victims that suffer in silence. So this post was great until the discriminative last sentence about million of abused women. Many man just dont speak about terrible repeated abuses, because man must be strong , man has to stand up...man men resist, hold on and bear abuses while women are very prone to scream and ask help at first one.

He says that he was not comfortable being at his trueself with me. we were in a relationship for 3 years and now he says this.He's way too inconsistent about his thoughts and gives a list of reasons for the break up and he wants to be only FRIEDS with me at least for a while. it's been almost 4 months since we broke up, I've been pleading him all this while and today I decided to Start No Contact period for at least 2 - 3 months until December. Kindly help me in getting him back. I'm very much serious about this guy.Also please Suggest me if i'm doing it right.
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